


Mission Files: Family, Forger

by Lacrow



Category: SPY x FAMILY (Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot Collection, Rating May Change, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 51,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24646990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacrow/pseuds/Lacrow
Summary: "...Sham marriage or not, you're my wife now."-A collection of one-shots focused on the Forgers and the various situations they find themselves in-
Relationships: Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess
Comments: 191
Kudos: 496





	1. Mission 001: Flowers for Mrs. Forger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Involved Parties: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Anya Forger, Bond**   
>  **Primary Objective(s): consolation and reassurance**   
>  **Reporting Status: successful**

"I've some business to attend to today," Loid informed them as he put on his coat and made his way for the door. "I should be home in time to cook dinner."

Yor and Anya smiled and waved him off. Though it wasn't unusual for Loid to have work on the weekends, it did strike them as odd that he would be called in at such an early hour, and on a Sunday no less. At least Yor found it odd, anyway; Anya knew very well that her papa didn't have patients to take care of, but instead the _fate of the free world._ Possibly. She didn't really get a chance to read his mind before he walked out the door to confirm (she kinda spaced out thinking about when Bondman was supposed to come on next).

Left to their own devices, the Forger women would go through the motions of a typical Sunday morning. In lieu of cooking breakfast like Loid would (and in an effort to spare Anya from food poisoning), Yor poured her daughter some cereal and sat on the couch while Anya took up her spot in front of the TV. With spy hound Bond faithfully next to her, Anya stared at her favorite program as she scooped up sugar bombs absently into her mouth. Yor knew that Loid would rather her be studying, but it was a Sunday. Besides, she mused, it was adorable.

After that, Anya handed mama her empty bowl and went off to go play spy with Bond. Yor heard the two of them as she washed the dishes; they crept sneakily around the hallway in order to save the prime minister from a bomb that may or may not have been concealed inside a penguin. Honestly, Yor had no idea where she came up with half of this stuff, but was at least content knowing that her daughter had quite the imagination. Their play session didn't last long, anyway. After about a half hour or so, both Anya and Bond wandered into the living room bored.

"How about we go for a walk?" Yor suggested with a smile. Anya perked at the opportunity.

About twenty minutes and a change of clothes later, and the Forgers were out and about. Bond waddled in front of them as they walked down the sidewalk. With no real destination, they simply enjoyed the sunshine and waved to several people on their commute. The girls received compliments on their matching sunhats, which Loid had been nice enough to get them at Anya's request. Neither he nor Yor could have guessed she had done so in order to make the whole mother/daughter thing more official; matching clothes meant a closer family, right?

They went down a street normally not taken. Yor knew where they were, of course, but usually didn't have any reason to come this way. The only noteworthy thing around was a cemetery, but Anya was leading and they didn't need to be anywhere in particular. Hand-in-hand they shuffled past it. Yor passively glanced at the rows of tombstones on the other side of waist-high wooden fence, and immediately she paused. There, facing towards them but unaware of their presence, was Loid. Her eyes widened, as did Anya's (though that had more to do with her being pulled back by her mama's dead weight). Completely taken aback, Yor pulled her daughter over to a nearby sign and hid behind it. She poked her head out.

What was he doing here? A half-bouquet of blue flowers rested in his hands as he loomed over one of the tombstones, and immediately Yor's head began to spiral; oh no...was he visiting his first wife's grave? His _real_ wife? The thought hit her like a sucker punch. She reeled before looking down to Anya, who also was peeking out to see what was going on. In an instant, Yor scooped up her daughter and started to walk away. Bond, though completely forgotten, followed behind faithfully as they made their escape.

Anya clamored to read her father's mind. She wanted to know what he was doing there just as bad as mama. He was far away, but she managed to gleam just enough off the top of his head to figure out what was going on before Yor ran off with her completely.

_...Cipher G...next...contact...further instructions..._

_Spy stuff,_ just like that episode in Bondman! Where the hero spy fakes his own death and pops out of the grave after the coast is clear!...well, not _exactly_ like that, but Anya got the picture. Mama most certainly didn't though, and Anya could tell as much just from a quick pop-in on her thoughts. _First wife?_ Ah...she thought papa was there for the wife he made up for a cover. That completely made up story about her passing away two years ago, now all of a sudden it seemed super real. Anya of course knew it wasn't, but mama...

She could say nothing to comfort or reassure her, as it would blow both their covers. In the meantime, all Anya could do was hold onto her mama tight as she made a b-line back home. Heavy scarlet burned her face, and Anya could feel it on her cheeks. She was embarrassed, and sad, and felt guilty. For what, though? She didn't do anything wrong?

Hopefully papa could make her feel better when he got home.

* * *

The sounds of splashing echoed from down the hallway as Anya took her bath for the evening. Both Yor and Loid had learned pretty early on that to be in the bathroom while she played was guaranteed to end in them getting soaked as well, so they both simply waited for her to finish outside. It was all the same to Loid, who sat at the table and flipped through the Sunday paper that he hadn't been able to read until just now. Sports, classifieds, comics, and entertainment sections were taken out and sprawled out on the table; all he cared about were current events.

Tiny clangs of a teapot lid rattling pulled his attention away for a brief moment, if only out of politeness. He smiled at Yor as she approached from behind to pour him some tea, and after a brief moment of hesitation she smiled back. The gesture was fleeting, but Loid always paid attention to everything. He found it odd, but said nothing on the matter. It wasn't until a moment later, when Yor came around the other side of the table to pull up a chair for herself, that he suspected something was on her mind. She sipped some tea, and stared down at the brown liquid in her cup.

"Loid, can I ask you something?" she said apprehensively, sparing him a glance.

"Of course," he blinked. The paper in his hands fell to the wayside as he gave her his attention.

"I just wanted to know..." there was no easy way to phrase this, "...what your wife was like?"

Loid paused. Immediately the cogs in his head started to turn, but he replied quickly to save face. "My...wife?"

"Your real wife-" she started, before catching herself. "-I mean, your first wife..." Again, it felt wrong. "...That is to say... _Anya's birth mom."_

Time stopped for Loid. In his head, he jumped through what felt like thirty hoops in order to come up with something. This was probably one of the biggest mistakes of his entire spy career; never once did he think up of a convincing story about his fake former wife. All he ever told people was that she passed away, but offered no other details that would placate someone nosy. That of course wasn't to say that _Yor_ was nosy, no; if anything he should have anticipated being asked this question by her. After all, she was pretending to be his wife. _Of course_ she'd be interested in knowing.

"Ah, my wife..." he lowered his head as if to show grief, "...well, I remember her to be a kind soul. Always willing to help others."

Yor nodded intently. She stared at him, hands clasped tightly over her teacup, as she waited for him to continue.

"She was a florist." He had no idea why he chose that profession, but he rolled with it. "I went into her shop one day to buy flowers for a patient. It was love at first sight."

A florist? Yor thought back to her seeing him at the grave site, and remembered the bouquet in his hands. "How lovely. Did she have a favorite flower?"

"Blue," Loid replied automatically before internally cringing at his own stupidity; she asked what _kind_ of flower, not what _color._ "Anything blue. It was her favorite color."

 _Just like the ones he had in his hands,_ Yor thought to herself as she looked down at her tea. Maybe today was their anniversary? Was that it? Or, perhaps, her birthday? She supposed the reason didn't particularly matter, just the fact that he was currently still thinking about her was enough to make Yor think of ways to...cheer him up? Loid didn't seem sad, but then again he never did. His demeanor was always so pleasant (save for when Anya made him cross) that she failed to remember that his family was broken. She was just pretending to be his wife, but he had an _actual_ one...

...at one point.

Not anymore. Now all he had was _her_ , a _fake_ wife who could barely cook for her family without almost killing them. Their marriage was a sham. That was their joint agreement, but Yor couldn't help but to feel like she got the better end of the deal. Loid was charming. A good father. An excellent husband, and she was...barely able to watch their daughter. No... _their_ daughter; Loid and his late wife's daughter. Yor loved Anya, but at the moment she couldn't help but to feel like a stranger in her own home. But, again, it wasn't _her_ home. She was just a stranger. She wasn't anything-

- _No._ This wasn't about her right now. Yor's internal dilemma struck like lightning, and her self-piteous thoughts disappeared just as quickly. She should be focusing on _Loid_ right now. He missed his wife and she had to do something, _anything,_ for him. The reflection that stared up at Yor from the tea in her cup showed the cycle of emotions that wheeled across her face. She seemed to completely forget that she was in the middle of a conversation just now. Well, at least she had been, anyway. It quickly became apparent to Loid that she had checked out already.

He was more than okay with that. He had no way of knowing all the things running through his wife's mind at the moment, and just assumed that he had satisfied her with his answers. She failed to see him sigh in relief before getting up to check on Anya, though paused when she felt his hand briefly touch her shoulder. Yor looked up to find him glance at her with smile before walking away, and he disappeared around the corner. At that point, left by herself, Yor needed no more convincing; she was going to make her husband happy if it was the last thing she'd ever do.

* * *

This might be the last thing she'd ever do...

She was going to kill herself with these shears. They were so much bigger than normal scissors, how had a florist never accidentally chopped their own finger off before? Wait a minute... _had_ they? Was...that how Loid's wife passed away? Yor became mortified at the thought; was flower arrangement truly such a dangerous profession? She was an assassin, but never once dreamed that florists dealt with such perils. Suddenly a whole new appreciation for Loid's first wife swept over Yor as she imagined her fighting flower and customer alike with her shears...

...okay, maybe it wasn't _that_ dangerous.

Still, Yor had nicked herself a couple of times. It was hard to see what she was doing when a whole bundle of flowers stuck in her face as she tried to trim the other side down. It was an awkward position, but she had to do it this way; she used her chin to keep the whole thing in place, otherwise it would come out uneven. There was probably an easier way to do this, though if there was she hadn't bothered to ask. The florist she talked to only gave her the briefest of pointers before selling her what she needed and scooting her out of the store.

Yor sighed. She had intended to just _buy_ something for Loid, but that didn't end up working for several reasons. First and foremost, they didn't have what she wanted. She visited several shops and all were either sold out of wreaths or were on back order for days. Yor wanted to get him something as soon as possible, since she didn't know what the occasion was (if there was one) that spurred him to visit her grave. That led to reason number two of why she took it upon herself to make him one; she didn't feel like simply buying him something would mean all that much to Loid.

He had already bought flowers. If there was something else she could have gotten him, Yor hadn't dug deep enough to find out. All she knew was that his first wife liked blue flowers, so she'd just go off of that. A nice wreath was different enough from a bouquet to be its own thing, and it could fit for multiple occasions. Them being sold out everywhere, however, meant that she had to _make_ her own and that, Yor quickly found out, was difficult. So much so, in fact, the she ended up calling into work that day. This wasn't something she could do in a couple hours. This was a _process_ _._

One that she was hopelessly ill-prepared for. Messed up flowers and half-cut-up stems littered the floor of her apartment as she struggled to contain it all. She had bought plenty of flowers to burn through as she knew there would be mistakes (her bank account certainly hated her for it), and Yor thanked whatever god above that Loid was out at work and Anya was at school. She had the place to herself, though that amounted to little when she only had half a day to get this all done before they got home. There had been progress made to be sure, but it was slow going.

One would assume her unique set of skills would have prepared her for this sort of thing. Cutting up bodies and cutting up flowers ended up being two _very_ different things, however, and Yor knew she had her work cut out for her (pun unintended). Despite this, or perhaps because of it, Yor hunkered down. She took a deep breath and, after taking a moment to calm herself, lifted her head up confidently. This was for Loid. She knew that he would do the same thing for her if she was feeling down, so there was no reason to complain.

Yor grabbed her shears and got right back to work. The sounds of steady snipping filled the Forger household, and she became lost in her arrangement once more.

* * *

She waited until Anya went to bed that night. Part of Yor wanted to share it with her, but she also didn't want to stir up any possible bad memories.

Things proceeded normally when they arrived home. The only thing out of the ordinary was the fact that _she_ was home before Loid, which he pointed out as he walked through the door. Yor simply stated that she'd had a headache and asked to go home a little early. Aside from the look of mild concern that swept across Loid's face, her story was accepted without incident. Anya arrived from school soon after, and the three of them went about their daily rituals as always. Loid got to work on dinner. Anya grumbled as she was denied cartoons. Yor, meanwhile, took Bond outside to go potty.

They ate. They talked. They showered, and Anya was put to bed. Yor was the one to tuck her in, and unbeknownst to her the young Forger was reading her mind the whole time. She failed to notice the smug look on her daughter's face as the lights were turned off, the mental image of what mama had planned for papa being enough to bring out that diabolical smile of hers. She of course said nothing and simply went to bed content knowing that what started off as a big misunderstanding had turned into an _opportunity,_ one that she unfortunately wouldn't get to see. Regardless, Anya wished her mama luck as she snuggled up next to her penguin plush and quickly drifted off to sleep.

With Anya in bed, Yor made her way to the closet in her room. She dashed in and out, returning with the fruits of her labor. Yor gave a quick pause to look over the arrangement she'd made; it wasn't the _best_ looking thing in the world, she admitted, but, well...it was the best that _she_ could do. She anxiously fiddled with a loose flower here and there before finally relenting with a sigh.

It was time. She hid the thing behind her as best she could before walking into the living room where Loid was sitting on the couch. He was absently flipping through another one of Anya's Bondman comics, a habit he'd first picked up after trying to figure out why she liked the thing so much. He looked up at the feeling of eyes on him, and his own eyes widened in surprise. There was...something behind her, but for the life of him he didn't know what. Yor bit her lip to shore up some confidence, and Loid sat the comic down next to him. She had his attention.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner," she started, finding it difficult to look directly at him. "But I saw you at the cemetery the other day."

Loid's eyes widened even more. _Crap._ He knew he shouldn't have been facing towards the street! "Yes, I was...visiting someone."

"Your wife," Yor stated quietly. Loid froze at the mention of his made-up former spouse. "That's why I asked you about her."

"I see..." Damn. He understood now; Yor was upset because she thought he still loved his first wife. Was that it?

That was _not_ good for the mission. If she assumed he was still hung up on his former partner, that might cause a rift between the two of them. That might then lead to conflict, and, in the worst case scenario, _divorce._ The threat of such a thing happening was enough to make Loid's head spin, and he scanned Yor's face to either confirm or deny his suspicions. The expression she had on at the moment didn't _seem_ upset. Quite the opposite, actually. Her face was red, but not out of anger. Her lip quivered, though seemingly not because she wanted to cry.

If he didn't know any better, he'd have said she was...embarrassed?

"I don't know anything about your marriage with her," Yor admitted as she brought the wreath around her, "but I wanted to make you something to remember her by."

Loid was struck speechless as Yor's handiwork came into view. It was a large wreath of blue flowers of varying sizes, strung somewhat neatly around what looked like an empty, clear picture frame. The frame itself was lopsided; stray stems and leaves poked out every which way, and the sides of the wreath itself were grossly uneven. Had Yor said she bought thing, Loid would have gotten mad _for_ her and immediately demand the place refund her money...but she just said she made that. _Made._ As in, with her own two hands. A flower wreath...where on earth had she learned how to do that?

"Yor..." For the first time ever, Westalis' greatest spy was left dumbfounded. "...I don't know what to say."

"...I know our marriage is a sham," she smiled somberly. "So I figured reminding you of your actual wife might make you happy."

Loid's breath hitched. He just stared, open-mouthed, as Yor held the wreath up for him. He said nothing, and as the seconds ticked by she started to become nervous. In an effort to fill the static, she pointed to the frame and explained that he could put a picture of the three of them there; Loid, his first wife, and Anya. They could even hang it up on the wall, and leave it there long after the flowers wilted. She didn't mind. This was his home, after all. She was just living there, Yor mused aloud. It didn't bother her one bit to be reminded of that. They could take it down when company came over, but the rest of the time it would be up there where it should be.

She waited for Loid to agree, but he continued to say nothing. Her painted-on smile turned slowly into a frown; was he upset? Did she do the wrong thing in making something that would remind him of her? Maybe it still hurt. Maybe that was why he was in the cemetery in the first place. This whole fake marriage of theirs only stirred up feelings best left forgotten, and now it was all coming to a head. Yor lowered the wreath and stared at her equally fake husband. Salt water stung her eyes as she suddenly started to feel like a complete idiot. She'd messed up royally this time...

"...Sham marriage or not, _you're_ my wife now," Loid finally spoke up, causing Yor to suck in air. "And I can think of no one else I'd rather have help me raise my daughter."

He smiled at her; that bright, comforting beam that he was nice enough to grace her with on a few occasions. This time, though, Yor couldn't hold it together at the sight of it. She lowered her head and bit her lip to keep from crying, but a few stray tears fell to the floor regardless. Before she knew it, her arms became lighter as the wreath was pulled out from under her. An arm wrapped around her, and Loid pulled her in for a hug. Yor didn't have any sense to be embarrassed like she would be usually. All she could do was accept his comfort. That, and try to regain her wits about her.

"I think," he began as Yor sniffed in his embrace, "we'll put _our_ family portrait in here."

Loid held up the wreath in his free hand. He said it to cheer her up, but immediately regretted doing so when she choked out her tears. In a panic, he frantically placed the arrangement on the coffee table and wrapped his other arm around her. He closed his eyes as sweat beaded on his forehead; he really needed practice in the comforting department. Hot tears soaked Loid's sweater, and he wished there was some way to stop them from coming. Not because he gave a damn about his laundry, but because he just wanted Yor to stop crying. She deserved better than that.

"...I'd like that!" Yor huffed into his chest before bringing her head up. A flushed, wet smile hovered mere inches from his face.

Another first. Scarlet red stained Loid's cheeks, and his thoughts escaped him. He quickly swallowed whatever words he'd started to prepare and resigned himself to simply continue holding his wife. His _fake_ wife. In their _fake_ apartment, while their _fake_ daughter slept sound asleep next door. This entire life he'd created for himself was fake, but the blood that pumped vigorously in Loid's veins at the moment was anything but. The tears that stained his shirt were real, too. And the feeling in his gut as Yor looked up at him with admiration in her eyes...

...He'd felt nothing more real in his entire life.


	2. Mission 017: Break a Sweat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Bond**   
>  **Objective(s): morning calisthenics, [AMENDED] unintended ogling**   
>  **Reporting Status: ~~successful~~ , [AMENDED] inconclusive**

The quiet streets of a pre-dawn morning in the city remained largely empty, save for a lone runner and his hulking companion.

It was dark out, so early that the sun hadn't even thought about peeking out over the horizon. It was the most serene time, long after the bars had closed and even the most resilient nights owls had long since retreated back into their hovels. It was also so _early_ that hardly anyone had woken up yet; even on a weekday, few could claim jobs that were sadistic enough to require their workers rise at such ungodly hours. Streetlights glowed with no one to enjoy their light, least of all the one man who'd have much preferred to remain in the shadows.

Jogging at a steady pace, the pair came to a crosswalk. Even though there were no cars or foot traffic to give the right of way to, Loid still waited for his signal to go. His overarching goal was to draw as little attention to himself as possible. That would have been made all the more difficult if he allowed his current goal, getting some much needed exercise, to result in him getting a ticket from a hidden police officer. Besides, Bond needed a breather. Loid continued to run in place, though expected no such thing from his hound. Bond sat on his butt until the light turned green, then promptly hopped up on all fours when it did.

"Not bad for being color-blind," Loid commented with a smirk. He started off, as Bond trotted along beside him.

They made their way down the road before cutting through a nearby side-street. Loid hardly ever came this way during the day, and that was mostly because it was where unsavory characters tended to congregate. Him being among them would raise eyebrows, even though it was very beneficial for him to get up close and personal with all parts of the city. He needed to be well informed and knowledgeable about all different streets and escape routes, and what better way to do that than under the cover of darkness? The answer of course being an hour where not even the most vigilant of eyes stood watching.

Also, he was getting soft. Running helped with that.

Even now, sweat drenched his shirt when it wouldn't have previously. In such pleasant weather, he would have been able to run for miles without feeling a thing. All this time playing papa, however, had taken that away from him. He was still able to function perfectly as a spy; there wasn't a criminal or enemy agent alive that could catch him in a race, but his endurance had certainly taken a nosedive since taking on this mission of his. The one that necessitated he become the perfect husband and father. The one that involved him _running around_ everywhere like clockwork.

One would assume that would have _increased_ his endurance, but it ended up being quite the opposite. If it wasn't waking up the girls and getting them ready for their day, then it was him going on another mission. If it wasn't him going on another mission, then it was him going to the store to make sure he had ingredients to cook dinner with. If he wasn't cooking dinner, he was being informed of _another_ mission...and so on and so forth. The constant juggling of duty and domesticity was an exhausting one, and Loid knew his heart would give out by the end of the year if he didn't do _something_ about it.

They made their way down the side-street without incident, and again came to another red signal. Loid sighed in mild frustration.

Running helped him take a sliver of control back. True, it tired him out even more, on top of all the running around he did during the day. However, a little bit of consistency was always a good thing. For the past week or so, he'd come out at the same time each morning. At this point, his body expected it; Loid felt _lazy_ if he didn't get his expected exercise, and Bond was of the same opinion. Loid had taken him out on a whim at first, thinking his dog could do with a bit more exercise as well. That quickly turned into Bond being the first one up every morning, ready for his master to take him out like he always did.

Loid's dog was about the only mental stimulation he received out here, aside from the constantly finicky traffic lights. That was more than fine with him, as it allowed Loid to clear his thoughts and reset for the day ahead. He used to think that the mental demands of being a spy were second to none, though that opinion changed very quickly after being introduced to his wife and daughter. As the traffic light became green, he could practically _see_ the silhouette of Anya darting off into the road the moment it turned. He internally cringed before taking off once more, thoroughly convinced that every small child had a death wish.

Another crosswalk. Past the bus stop. Take the roundabout. Start heading towards home.

Loid began to pant as the effort of running eventually set in, and he admonished himself for becoming so weak.

He'd lost his edge, in more ways than one. The old him, _Twilight,_ would have already completed the mission by now. He'd have circumvented the requirements imposed by WISE (i.e procure a wife and daughter) and simply found a more direct way to dispatch his target. Black mail. Bribery. Torture. All viable routes that would have lead to his target, Donovan Desmond, weeks ago. The crisis of a potential re-ignited war would have been safely averted, and he could go back to doing what he did best. Disappearing without a trace. Living in the shadows. Existing only in theory.

He wouldn't have the baggage of a wife and daughter to weigh him down.

No distractions. No relationships. No anything. Just...him.

Loid exhaled as he and Bond came to another stop, ironically at the same traffic light as before. This time he stopped jogging altogether and allowed himself to catch a much needed breath. Again he cursed his own weakness, but there was little bite behind his self-directed bark. How appropriate then, as he looked down to his canine friend and stared into the small black eyes that gazed up at him. Sometimes Loid swore that dog knew more than it should. Such was the case now, when Bond suddenly found it necessary to bring his face up and start licking his hand.

It was almost like the mutt knew what he was thinking. Loid allowed himself to smile as Bond got up to press himself against his leg. At that point the light had turned green, but Loid wasn't focused on that at the moment. He knelt down on one knee and scratched the dog's head, which resulted in some eager tail-wags and more licking.

Bond was Anya's pet and, just like her, he was perceptive. As he did before, Loid visualized his daughter, only this time imagined her standing next to both of them. She'd probably say something silly, or mispronounce a word like she commonly did, before demanding that her papa cheer up. Despite not displaying any noticeable signs of him thinking negatively (that he knew of), Anya could still tell when he was upset. He'd joked with Yor once or twice that she must be psychic, though deep down he had a sneaking suspicion that was what children were really like.

They spent everyday of their lives looking up to their parents. After a while, reading their minds must become like second nature.

Was that true for Anya, then? Had she really gotten so good at figuring him out in such a short amount of time? Loid stared at his dog thoughtfully; memories of all the times Anya had called him a good papa echoed in his head, along with the similar compliments Yor had given him on multiple occasions. He didn't agree with any of it since he knew himself better than they did, but just the thought of them holding him in such high regard was enough to shake some of the ideas he'd been mulling over all morning.

Regardless of how he felt initially about this whole arrangement, even he had to admit...this little family of theirs wasn't all that bad. He almost said as much aloud, though stopped himself from doing so at the last second. It was bad enough he'd been fawning over Bond for as long as he had been; should he start talking to himself as well, someone might pass by and label him crazy. Not that there was anybody else around at the moment, but he certainly didn't want to take the chance and find out.

The light went through another cycle, and this time Loid and Bond were ready. Once it flashed the signal to go, the two boys started off to finish the rest of their morning run. Soon the sun would start to peek out and the first early birds would rise. It was something Loid would like to avoid. By that time, he hoped to me home already. Back to his fake wife and daughter before either of them had a chance to ruin the rest of his day with their incessant demands and constant attempts to spend time with him. Another weekend. Another headache.

Loid couldn't help but to smirk at the notion.

Even he didn't believe half the lies he told himself sometimes.

* * *

Tossing his dirty workout shirt into the laundry bin, Loid exhaled as he turned to face the bathroom mirror. The person that looked back at him was equal parts familiar and strange. Familiar because it was the same body he saw everyday, albeit with a little less muscle than before. Aside from running, he hadn't kept up with any other exercises. It was a little disconcerting to think about, but it actually ended up working out in his favor. People would suspect something was amiss if a 'psychiatrist' like him was _too good_ in shape. He needed a little extra cushion for cover.

Loid's face, however, was strange. He leaned in closer and examined himself more thoroughly. They were the same features he'd come to expect; blonde hair, blue eyes, indifferent face. The look behind his stare was truly the only thing different about him, but it threw him for a loop as to specifically _what_ that difference was. There were bags under his eyes, sure, but that wasn't what seemed off about them. There was a glint of something, something that hadn't been there when he'd first taken this mission. He saw it every once in a while when he actually cared to look at himself for more than a few passing seconds. It kept getting a little more noticeable each time, and he soon started to wonder if it might end up compromising his mission...

As he studied himself further, the doorknob began to move. Immediately, Loid turned to see who it was. The door opened slowly, revealing Yor half-asleep as she trudged forward with a yawn. Her eyes were closed at first, more than likely assuming that nobody was in the bathroom this early (which, to her credit, was usually the case). Loid shook his head in muted annoyance with himself; he'd forgotten to lock the door. Normally he'd have been done and out already, but had gotten distracted.

"Good morning, Yor," Loid greeted her pleasantly. He would have smiled, but it was honestly too early for that. His words sounded cheerful enough without one.

Yor creaked her eyes open. Another yawn immediately followed the first, and she covered her mouth politely. "Oh. Good morning, Loi-"

She stopped on a dime. Something caused her to freeze in time, leaving her foot hanging mid-step and the yawn to catch in her throat. Yor's tired eyes shot wide open, and Loid tilted his head in mild concern and confusion. He stood there, not moving an inch as his faux wife continued to do the same. It was honestly a wonder that the world's greatest spy didn't put two and two together, since there was only one thing that was noticeably different about either of them at the moment. Maybe he was tired from all the running, or maybe it just didn't strike him as odd to begin with.

Yor's eyes scanned him up and down. Despite having been living together for this long, this was the first time she had actually seen her husband shirtless. Red bled into her face, heart taking off like a rocket from the sudden embarrassment she felt gazing upon him. She'd honestly never seen _any_ man shirtless (pools and beach not withstanding) aside from her little brother, and _certainly_ not mere feet in front of her likes this. Yor could practically reach out and touch him right now if she wanted to...not that she _did_ , of course!

Her face became hotter. Yor knew quite well that Loid had muscles; they showed through whenever he wore anything less than a sweater, and even then the definition of his chest was still a little bit apparent. Admittedly, she also remembered (vaguely) _feeling_ them the first time her brother came to visit. When she hovered over him on the couch and put her hand on his torso to steady herself, Yor could tell right away that he worked out. That also played a part in the embarrassing way it all ended, when she accidentally clobbered her brother with a slap that was meant for Loid. Not that she'd wanted to hurt her husband! It's just that she was drunk and...well, it was a heat of the moment kind of thing...

Those burning feelings in her chest had returned though. Despite her desire to keep this wholly to herself, Yor was terrible at remaining calm when she clearly wasn't. She continued to stare at Loid, unable to stop from gazing at the abs and chiseled chest that had _no business_ being on a psychiatrist's body. Loid raised a brow, not quite sure what was causing his wife to become so flustered. He asked her something, but Yor didn't hear it. She had moved onto his scars now, because _apparently_ he had scars the she didn't know about, too.

One across his ribs, a few here and there on his stomach. Some marks were etched into Loid's arms, too, and Yor figured (incorrectly) that they must have come from his more rowdy patients at work. She always felt bad that he got such difficult cases, and whenever he'd come home with a new scratch or bump on the head her concern for him would only grow. Yor never thought they left permanent marks, though. She frowned; internally, of course, because her real face was too busy trembling in pure distress. Her skin tone was no longer apparent. The only thing left was pure blush.

She _had_ to get out of there, and fast. Already she looked like a complete idiot in front of Loid, and wanted nothing more than to escape and bury her face into her pillow to cool off. Yor turned around, but not before grounding out a stammered _sorry_ and affording herself one last look at the man whom she had fake-pledged her life to. Hair messy. Body toned. Eyes, cool and piercing. Loid could only stand there, baffled, as Yor used her precious few moments to appreciate the fact that...there were worse random men she could have agreed to play house with.

She was happy that she had chosen Loid.

And with that last, mortifying thought, Yor ran out the bathroom and left her husband standing there in silence. Sweat hung from his brow as he briefly wondered just what the _hell_ all that was just now. He continued to stare at the empty spot where his wife had been before a thought popped into his head. His face fell to the floor.

"...Do I really stink that bad?" he asked himself before raising his arm to take a sniff.

Immediately his face contorted with disgust as he confirmed his suspicions. In an angry growl, Loid closed the bathroom door behind him and undressed before going to turn on the shower. _Great_ , he thought to himself as climbed into cold water. Now on top of having to cook breakfast, he also had to smooth things over with Yor. Already the morning was turning into a busy one, and Loid briefly grumbled about it before relenting with a tired smile. As the water started to turn hot, he simply shook his head and decided to take it all one step at a time. After all, he needed to be the best family man possible. A good husband and father needed to be patient, especially with two crazy girls who, Loid admitted, really weren't all that bad to begin with.

In the meantime, he'd try not to break a sweat. At least not until his mission was over.


	3. Mission 033: Just Desserts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Anya Forger, Bond, Unknown**   
>  **Objective(s): procure ice cream, [AMENDED] [ANYA] PROTECT MAMA!!!**   
>  **Reporting Status: successful**

Anya had demanded it. Sweetly, of course, though it ended up taking a _bit_ more to convince her papa to take them out for ice cream.

Luckily, mama came in with the much needed support. Anya fisted the air in victory when, after she had pleaded with Loid for some much desired cold treats (to middling results), he ended up relenting when Yor added that it seemed like a perfect day to go outside as a family. The sun was out in full force and the temperature had been rising steadily all day, but the sky was clear and people looked to be enjoying themselves down below. Mama mused all of this aloud as she looked out the window with a bright smile on her face, and Anya knew before he even opened his mouth that papa was convinced. Whereas he barely even glanced from the paperwork in his hands when _she_ did back flips for his attention, Loid always paid attention when _mama_ spoke. Not that Anya was complaining, of course.

He let whatever cool spy stuff (she assumed) he was reading fall to the table and sighed, albeit it with a tiny smile on his face. It was the weekend. A time for _fun,_ not work! At least, that's the way Anya saw it. Her papa begged to differ, of course, judging from the string of thoughts running through his head that she picked up on. He was busy with something, probably something _important,_ and she felt a little bad making him choose between saving the free world and taking them out for ice cream. Only just a little though, and _definitely_ not enough to dissuade him from doing so.

"I have some things I need to go over at the moment," he explained with a glance towards Yor. "If you want to go and take Anya to the park, I'll meet up with you in a little bit?"

Yor clasped her hands together and of course agreed, and that ended up being how she and Anya found themselves casually strolling through the biggest park in town. Between them both waddled their faithful spy hound Bond, though mama held onto the leash since Anya had a tendency to wanna _ride_ the pooch instead of walking him. They frequently took Bond to this particular park, since it wasn't very far from their apartment. He ended up taking them around to all his usually frequented places; the trashcan with the messed up lid, the fire hydrant, that one brown spot on the grass that Anya _swore_ kept getting bigger every time she brought Bond around it (she knew he had something to do with it, but _really_ didn't want to know what).

They wandered around for almost an hour, but still her papa still didn't show up. She huffed a little and kicked at the grass with her foot. He said he was busy, she understood that, but he _also_ said he'd meet them in a little bit. An hour was not a little bit. She'd learned to tell time in the past couple weeks. _A little bit_ was like, thirty minutes, _max._

"Mama," Anya piped up. "Should we go back and drag papa out?"

"No, your father knows we're here," Yor replied with an amused smile. "When he's finished, he'll come straight over. Promise!"

Dejected, Anya clung to her faithful hound. His oblivious panting masked the sound of Anya's grumbling, and Yor shook her head. True, Loid was taking a bit, but she figured whatever had him this preoccupied must be important. That wasn't to say she didn't sympathize with Anya's disappointment, though; it _was_ hot outside and ice cream certainly sounded good at the moment. Maybe if she took her to get some in the meantime, then get her another one when Loid arrived? Oh, but that was way too much sugar for her...no, Loid probably wouldn't like that very much. She wouldn't get any sleep that night.

Maybe if they shared a cone? That might work. Ah, but what about Bond? It wouldn't be fair to have him out here in the hot sun without getting one for him, too...wait, could dogs even _eat_ ice cream? Would that kill them? Yor's head started to spin from the amount of mental gymnastics she was performing in her head. The same could be said for Anya who, after making the mistake of reading her mama's mind, became just as addled and disoriented as her. Like mother, like daughter. Lost in their headspace, they failed to notice as a stranger approach them from behind.

It wasn't until the low boof of a Bond on edge snapped them back to their senses, but by then the stranger was already removing his hat in greetings. He bowed slightly, though stared intently up at Yor the whole time. His hair was black and straight, almost like uncle Yuri's, and his face reminded Anya of her papa. Not in a good way, though; Loid could put on any face he wanted and could fool anyone with a tiny lie. This man seemed the same way to Anya and, even though she knew her _papa_ was a good man, she didn't like the feeling this stranger gave her.

"Pardon me, ma'am," he spoke with a smirk. "I was just getting some fresh air during my lunch break, and I couldn't help but notice you from across the way."

"Oh, um, thank you?" Yor's face twisted with obvious confusion. She wasn't sure what he was trying to say, but wanted to be polite regardless.

Anya narrowed her eyes as the man scanned her mama quickly. "Sorry for being so forward, but it's not everyday I see a woman as beautiful as you walk past me."

"E-excuse me?" Red immediately erupted across Yor's face as the man took a step forward; she likewise took a step back. "S-sorry, but I'm happily married!"

 _Yeah!_ Anya puffed her chest up. She walked a bit out from her mama's shadow, and Bond was quick to join her. He wasn't the aggressive type, but at least served as an extra source of confidence with his large physique. The two of them together at least made it impossible for the man to pretend they weren't there, which he most certainly _had been_ doing up until then. He couldn't pretend he wasn't, either, since Anya could read his mind. He became annoyed with their presence, which only made the junior spy even more brash. She stepped forward just a little bit more.

"Ah, married. Sorry, I didn't see a ring," he noted politely, glancing at Yor's hand. She flinched. "You two don't look alike, so I assumed you were simply watching her."

"No, well-" Yor began to clarify, but then paused. She looked down at Anya. "I mean, that is to say, she's my _husband's_ daughter from a previous marriage. I'm her stepmom."

 _Yeah!..._ wait, what? Stepmom? Anya's face scrunched up a little bit; she'd never heard the term before, let alone have it applied to Yor before. Whatever that meant though, she was still her _mama._ And right now, this strange guy didn't seem to care about that. Mama had _papa_ , but he kept acting like she didn't. Even worse, mama didn't know what to say to make him go away. Anya became distraught when she gleaned over Yor's thoughts and found only a jumbled mess awaiting her. The man stepped forward again, and this time mama didn't step back.

"And, your husband?" he asked innocently. Again, a farce. "Where is he?"

"On his way..." Yor glanced down at Anya and put an arm around her to pull her in.

"You've been on your own for a while," the man commented. Yor's eyes widened. "Sorry, just an observation."

Anya wrapped herself around her mama's legs. Less out of fear, and more as support. "My husband's a busy man. He'll be here soon."

"Oh, I don't doubt it!" the man responded with a friendly lilt. "It's just...well, I've always found that busy men tend to have a bad habit of neglecting their wives."

Mama continued to retract in the man's presence. It didn't make sense to Anya; her mama was strong and super scary when she was upset. She was upset right now and Anya could tell, but in a different kind of way. Not angry, like when she disobeyed her mama or got into trouble by running off on her own, but almost...sad? Not in a crying sort of way, either. The closest thing Anya could liken it to was that interview at the academy, when that mean headmaster said a bunch of things to her and mama, and papa got real mad before breaking the table in half.

She was uncomfortable with what he was saying to her.

Why didn't she speak up, then?! If mama wouldn't do it, then she would! Anya tried to break away from Yor in order to give the man a piece of her mind, but found herself unable to break away from the tight grasp she found herself in. She blinked and looked up, finding her mama's face red and flustered. Immediately, Anya became worried. This guy was a chump! Nothing compared to her mama, or even her papa! Heck, even Anya could beat him up so long as Bond was there to help her! So...why wasn't Yor doing that right now? Beat him up and go get ice cream...it was really simple...right?

"Even if that isn't the case now, which I'm sure it isn't, then it almost always happens later on down the road," he continued with feigned concern. "Unfortunately."

"Loid's never neglected me or Anya!" Yor shot back, finding a brief, re-ignited spark of confidence. "He cooks, and cleans, and helps our daughter with her homework, and-"

"-Not what I meant in the slightest!" he cut her off in a fit of laughter, catching Yor completely off-guard. The lit fire in her chest waned as quickly as it came.

The man leaned in. Yor flinched and pulled Anya back around behind her. At this point, she assumed he was trying something funny. Though exasperated at the moment, Yor readied herself to strike at the man and run off with her daughter in tow. She prepared herself, but ultimately found it unnecessary. The man simply held up his hand like a visor, in order to veil his lips from Anya as he spoke. His face, however, was dangerously close to Yor's. She didn't like it. She wanted to end things right then and there, to turn around and walk away. But she was frozen. She couldn't.

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, so as to not let anyone else hear. "Perhaps I can show you what I mean later tonight? Preferably just the two of us?"

"W-what?" Finally, it clicked in Yor's head. Her brain became an addled mess. Her face contorted. "No, I...love my husband, very much..."

"As well you should," he shrugged while pulling away. He didn't try to hide anything anymore. "You can share _that_ with him. The rest...you can share with me for an evening?"

The rest? What was he talking about? What did he say to mama? Anya looked to her mother and found that same face from before; uncomfortable, but now times a thousand. She wanted to read the man's mind and figure out what he was thinking, but found herself unwilling to do so. Anya couldn't get over the fact that a few words from the man could make mam so upset, and it...made her upset, too. She looked up at the man and again felt non-existent to him. He was just focused on Yor now, bearing a sleazy look that mirrored his true self. Anya clutched Yor tightly...

...then Bond barked.

He'd been silent this whole time. Why he chose now to finally speak up Anya had no idea, at least not at first. It wasn't until she finally looked back at her partner in crime that things became clear. A tall figure. A familiar gate. A painted-on smile that betrayed his near-constant exhaustion. It all came into view as her papa approached them from behind, and Anya felt her eyes well up at his presence. He had no idea what he'd just walked into. That fake smile of his was pleasant as always, but papa wouldn't be wearing it if he knew what was _really g_ oing on.

Mama was turned away from him. The stranger, ever perceptive, noticed Loid approach and flipped his mask back on. He was just an innocent man again, and it made Anya sick to her stomach. So, in order to facilitate a more rapid response from her dear papa, Anya did what she always did; she intervened, in her own little way. In one foul swoop, she turned around and embraced him.

"Papa!" Anya threw her arms around him and rubbed her face into his leg. Loid, noticeably tired, came to a screeching halt. "Papa, where were you?!"

"Sorry, I got a little side tracked," he explained, pretending like he hadn't just had a meeting with the Handler. "Work took longer than expected."

 _He was doing secret spy stuff,_ Anya gleaned from the top of his mind. It was definitely cool, but she couldn't think about that right now. She had her own mission at the moment; get papa to fix everything! Anya made a subtle motion towards her mama. It seemed unintentional, because that's how she _intended_ it. In reality, she wanted Loid to glance at Yor. See his wife. Apologize to her for being late. Approach her, see the look in her eyes, notice the creep in front of her, then put two and two together. He'd tell him off, send him packing, and then they could all go get ice cream.

As if on queue, papa looked at over at mama.

Anya smirked; all according to plan.

She'd heard his voice. The moment Anya pounced on him, Yor spun around to find Loid there gazing back at her. He smiled at first, with that apologetic sort of look he often gave her when coming back late from a secret mission. It quickly fell from his face, however, when he noticed her expression. She was beet red, and dared not look him directly in the eyes. Her gaze fell to the floor, which was about as high up as she could manage. Her shoulders slunk. She held her own arm anxiously. Loid looked at at her, then down to Anya. Playing her part to a tee, Anya stared up at her papa with the biggest, most trembling eyes she could manage. She gave a little sniff for added effect, and was pleased when Loid finally leered over at the now-polite-looking stranger. The cogs in his head turned.

Anya knew her papa. She knew he was very in control of himself. She knew he liked to keep up appearances as a spy. She knew that _he knew_ that they were just a fake family...but she also knew that when it came to protecting her and mama, Loid was the best papa ever. She knew that he'd do anything to make sure that they were okay. She knew he'd never stand for them getting hurt. And most of all, she knew that look on her papa's face. When all the emotion disappeared from his face, and his eyes zeroed in on whatever target fell within his sights; he was _livid._

This man, though. He didn't know anything. He was completely oblivious as papa came up to him, feigning a smile. "Hello, I see you've met my family. I'm Loid Forger."

"Oh, a pleasure!" the man reached his hand out to shake, which was snatched up immediately. "Your wife and I were just chatting about you! My name is-!"

"-My wife and daughter are normally very cheerful," Loid cut him off. He continued to smile. "Would you happen to know why they aren't at the moment?"

The man paused. He looked down to find his hand being squeezed far tighter than was comfortable. He looked back up. "...No, can't say that I do, Mr. Forger."

"You know, I'm a psychiatrist by trade," Loid continued. "I'm pretty good at telling when people are in a good mood, or when they're angry, or upset, or when they're _lying_."

Anya's chest swelled up with pride. Papa was really good at being scary without _actually_ being scary. He stressed that last part real subtly, to where she wasn't even sure if mama picked up on it. Speaking of, Anya checked up on Yor. She grabbed her mama's leg, and found herself being pulled in once more. Only this time, Yor looked down at Anya with just a smidge more confidence than before. Enough to where it caused Anya to smile as, together, they shuffled behind Loid. Bond corralled them around the side, and it quickly became the Forgers vs. the nameless stranger. Papa retracted his hand and continued to paint a pleasant look on his face, though Anya knew better. The stranger apparently did, too, since she could tell from a quick peek in his head that he was already intimidated.

"Ah, pardon me. I suppose I'm just feeling a little over-protective," Loid grinned. "Yor and I have barely been married a year. I guess you can say we're still in our honeymoon phase!"

"...A year, is it?" the man responded promptly, in order to keep up polite conversation. Anya could tell he didn't want to talk, though. "You're a lucky man, Mr. Forger."

"Yes, I love my family very much," Loid replied coolly. Yor and Anya both looked at each other; it was just for show, but...they still appreciated hearing him say it.

"From what I gather, your wife feels the same way," the man commented. Immediately, Yor straightened. She peeked out over Loid's shoulder before pulling Anya in closer.

Sometimes, Anya swore her papa had eyes on the back of his head. Maybe it was because he was the greatest spy in the world, or maybe it was just because parents in general were really good at noticing things behind them. Either way, Loid saw Yor flinch. The man saw that _Loid_ saw, and _Anya_ saw all of this take place in an instant. The air between all four of them became thick and, if it hadn't been for a well-timed boof from Bond, Anya thought that papa would have done something right then and there. But he didn't; like she said earlier, he was very in control of himself.

"Well, it was certainly nice meeting you-" Loid paused. Less out of consideration, and more to stress his point. "-Oh, I suppose I didn't quite catch your name."

The man shifted in place. He fiddled with his hat for a moment, "Right, yes, of course. My name is-"

"-Well, I suppose that's alright," Loid cut him off one final time. "It's all the same, considering this **_will_** be the last time I ever see you around my family again."

That was a _threat._ Anya looked up at her papa and smiled. Already he was turning around to gather her and mama up. Anya grabbed hold of Bond's leash as papa clutched her shoulder tightly, and mama reached down to hold her hand. Meanwhile, Yor felt an arm wrap around her and she looked to Loid. He was still smiling, though it wasn't the fake one he'd put on to mask his anger. It was a comforting one, and Yor found herself red in the face once more. Again, not like before; this time the blush was one of relief and appreciation. Everything was fine now that Loid was there.

"Come along, ladies." Papa motioned with his head to the park's exit. "I believe I've kept you waiting long enough. It's time to go get some ice cream."

Anya lit up. Immediately she started to hop up and down at the mention of frozen dessert, and for the first time in a while Yor smiled like she always did. Neither Forger noticed Loid shoot the man a look that could cut through solid steel. His eyes gave one final warning, and it was enough to make Yor's would-be-suitor freeze completely; _stay away, or I'll **fucking** kill you._

That would be the final time any of them bothered to look back at the man. Loid herded his family tightly as they exited the park. Bond trotted beside them and Anya held his leash firm as if to mimic the tight squeeze her papa had on her. By the time they made it around the block, the man had long since left their sight, but Loid never let up for a moment. Yor glanced up at her husband and found him staring diligently forward as if to survey the area for any other threats. Perhaps due to him being preoccupied, or perhaps to put on a show for others, he continued to hold her close. Fingers, firm and commanding, clasped Yor's arm so tightly that she doubted anything could have pried them off. She honestly didn't mind, though. In fact, it made her forget about that creep in the park completely.

Yor smiled, and found herself leaning just a little bit more into her husband's embrace.

Anya smiled, too. Not because of ice cream, but because Loid had saved the day. Just like the superheroes she watched on TV, except not even Bondman had anything on her papa. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anya kind of took over this one a bit. I wanna write more stories focused on her, though updates will slow a bit in general from here on out. At least planned updates, anyway (I've got a few already in progress so no worries there). My goal is to get more people interested in SxF. The community is small, but there's so much talent already here and I can't wait to see what everyone creates in the coming months :D


	4. Mission 052: Papa's Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Anya Forger, Bond**  
>  **Objective(s): rest and recreation**  
>  **Reporting Status: total failure**  
>  **[ADDENDUM 1] [TWILIGHT]** : **_"Requesting permission for extended leave due to unforeseen complications involving parental duties."_**  
>  **[ADDENDUM 2] [HANDLER]: _"Request denied. No missions scheduled for the remainder of the weekend. See you on Monday."_**

The door at the end of the hallway creaked open.

Out from the first rays of morning sun, a haggard man appeared. He yawned and stretched his arms to let muscles and bones creak back into their respective places before shuffling forward at a snail's pace. The bathroom called to him and he went to answer it eagerly, albeit it slowly. Eyes closed (though still attentive as always), Loid stumbled in and shut the door behind him. He did his business, and remained to do the rest of his morning routine. Wash his face. Brush his teeth. Put on deodorant. All the things he did normally, only now he was seeing them through rose tinted lenses. Loid looked in the mirror and sighed in equal parts relief and content; it was the first time in weeks where he could actually enjoy his morning for a change. For once, he didn't need to rush in order to be somewhere.

Constant back-to-back missions and fatherly duties had demanded every ounce of his time and energy for the better half of a month. Not only that, but he also had to maintain his cover job at the psychiatric ward in order to keep up appearances. Every day, incessantly, he'd ran himself ragged. Sleep was a rare luxury that WISE couldn't afford to sanction him, what with continued personnel shortages and the looming shadow of Donovan Desmond's dealings. Coffee and tea were his only saving graces though, despite his wife's usual happiness to push her herbal beverages on him, even Yor was concerned with how much caffeine he was drinking. Not to mention he hadn't been eating well, either.

Today, however, would be different.

The same person who whipped him day in and day out, his Handler, also deemed this Saturday off limits to all mission requests pointed in his direction. Allegedly, WISE threw a fit at her request, but ultimately relented when it was explained that, although _Twilight_ was the ultimate spy and protector of Westalis' foreign interests, _Loid Forger_ had duties outside of typical mission parameters. When pressed for details, it was further explained that "wives need their husbands and daughters need their daddies and one day off wouldn't result in the complete breakdown of east/west society as we know it."

Also there weren't any more missions that needed agents at the moment.

According to Frankie, that was the _main_ reason why he got the day off.

Regardless of the how or why, Loid would take it. Not even bothering to comb his hair, he emerged out of the bathroom feeling ready to do absolutely nothing. At some point he would change out of his PJ's, but it was still early and quite frankly he wanted to milk it for all it was worth. Eventually he would have to, though; it might have been his day off, but there were still errands that needed to be taken care of. Groceries needed to be bought. Bills paid. Dog walked. All minor things, and none of them taxing enough to cause him any real annoyance. He was just happy to be able to go at his own pace for a change.

Loid wandered into the living room. He was met with the sound of gunshots and villainous banter as reruns of Bondman played with Anya dutifully watching on the floor. She was glued to the TV, and under normal circumstances he would have chastised her to scoot back a foot or two. Today though, Loid paid it no mind. He glanced at her before heading off to the kitchen in order to make them something to eat, though stopped a moment later when the smell of food already on the stove met his nostrils. He sniffed, reluctantly, and found the aroma didn't make him gag. A start.

"Good morning, Loid!" Yor spun around and beamed at him through the window above the sink. White smoke bellowed from underneath a pan on the burner.

"Morning," he echoed. He tried to peek at what she was making, but ultimately couldn't from his angle. "I'm surprised you're up so early. Both of you."

"Well, you mentioned that you didn't have anything going on today, so I wanted to surprise you with breakfast!" Yor explained, spatula raised high in her hand.

The sizzle of something singed quickly summoned Yor's attention and she spun around to tend to it. Anya, without looking back, added, "I picked out the menu!"

Eggs. Scrambled, of course, as Loid assumed his wife couldn't handle anything fancier than that. He smirked a little at their intent, though internally worried why there was so much smoke in the building when that was supposedly all she was making. In any case, Loid resigned himself to simply wait at the table until breakfast was ready. He picked the chair nearest the kitchen window, as it was the one that conveniently already had the morning paper stacked neatly in front of it. His smirk turned into a smile as he sat down; Yor was really going all out this morning, eh?

Loid unfurled his paper and started to skim. At the same time, Anya unstuck herself from the TV and ran past him into the kitchen. He raised a brow, though pretended not to notice. The clamor of dishware could obviously be heard, followed by desperate shushing and the pouring of liquid. Loid tilted his head, wary as to what exactly was going on, though found his fears misplaced when Anya emerged from the kitchen a moment later. She had a cup of coffee balanced on a small plate, likely at Yor's request in order to keep her from burning herself. She walked up to Loid and placed it in front of him.

"Your morning joe, papa!" Anya smiled ecstatically. She motioned to the cup as if having brewed the thing herself, though he knew it was Yor who made it.

Loid lowered his paper and smiled back in amusement. He was fairly certain this was all a ploy for a new toy, though if it was he was falling for it. "Thank you, Anya."

She grinned in acknowledgement and scurried back into the kitchen. Loid gathered his mug and blew away the smoke; he didn't even get a chance to sip from it before both Anya and Yor emerged with plates in their hands a few seconds later. They dropped one off to Loid first, and he loomed over the meal cautiously to determine if it was edible. Yor again surprised him, as it wasn't scrambled eggs like she said it was. Instead, she'd attempted to make an omelet. Bits of diced vegetables and cheese sprinkled on top, along with a runny cut down the center...it actually didn't look half bad.

"I made this for Yuri the other day, and he didn't throw up at all!" Yor revealed. Her words were not reassuring, though her happy glow certainly was.

Yor and Anya both pulled up their chairs, though not before Yor ran back to grab the forgotten silverware. Once she returned and everyone was ready, all three dug in at the same time. Admittedly, both Loid and Anya looked at each other right before shoveling the food into their mouths; they agreed through unspoken words to die together should the worst case scenario come to pass, though thankfully it didn't come to that. Both chewed. Both swallowed. Both looked to Yor, who looked back and waited eagerly for a reply, before nodding in relief and satisfaction. She beamed.

Breakfast was devoured quickly. Bond barely had any time to beg for scraps, though would receive none regardless. Once the last piece was finished and all forks hit their plates, the Forger dog waddled away indignantly in defeat. He left Yor, Anya, and Loid sitting there with full bellies and satisfied faces. Absently Loid began to push his chair out and gather his dishes, but was stopped by a tiny hand that waggled in his face. It belonged to Anya, and she stood on her chair in order to reach over and stop him from getting up. Again it was something Loid would normally get after her for, but not today.

"Loid," Yor spoke up. "We know you've been really busy these past couple weeks. You've come home tired every single day, and you've hardly gotten any sleep."

Moving his head away from his daughter's hand, Loid looked at both her and Yor. "Yes, work has been...stressful, to say the least. But I'm fine, trust me."

"I know, but I still wanted to do something special for you today, since this is the first day you've had off in such a long time," she replied.

"Yeah!" Anya added enthusiastically. "Mama planned it all out! You're gonna stay home and do nothing while she does all the air-ins!"

Loid blinked. He looked to Yor, and found a warm smile there to greet him. "Really? I mean, I don't mind running errands today..."

"No! I insist!" she shot back quickly. Confidence swept over her. "I'll handle everything. You just enjoy yourself and relax!"

"I can relax and still go to the grocery store," Loid fought back mildly. He wasn't trying all that hard, though.

Yor shook her head. "Anya already said it, Loid. This is going to be _papa's_ day off. No work allowed!"

Loid stared at his fake wife, and felt a very real smile curl across his lips. "Thank you, Yor."

"Of course," she replied. Red flecked her cheeks as she smiled back at him sweetly.

Heat came to Loid's face as well, and remained there as he and Yor eyed each other from across the table. Anya glanced back and forth between her parents; unbeknownst to either of them, she searched their thoughts nosily to determine whether or not mama and papa wanted to kiss. Unfortunately for her, all she got was static from both of them. Their heads were empty for some reason...but that couldn't be true, right? People's minds don't go blank like that, unless...was it going to be a new moon tonight? Were her powers getting "eclipsed" again?

She banged the side of her head as if trying to free water from her ear after a visit to the pool. Meanwhile, Yor hopped up and grabbed all the dirty dishes on her own. Loid voiced one last halfhearted protest, though handed his plate over to her all the same. At his wife's direction, Loid removed himself from the table and made his way over to the living room. She'd pour him some more coffee in a minute after cleaning up. In the meantime, Yor instructed him to kick his feet up and go watch the news. Anya agreed; for once, his daughter wouldn't fight him for control over the TV.

Besides, Anya had a list of things she needed to attend to today as well. First and foremost, she needed to make sure she still had her powers. With a scrunched up face, she stared at Bond to see if she could read his mind. Bitter thoughts of not being able to taste the omelet for breakfast filled her head, and she nodded. Yup, still there. Satisfied, she hastily screeched her chair back and darted off to her room. Bond trotted off after her and together they locked themselves away, though not before Anya made it clear that she and Bond had an important meeting to attend. _Do not disturb._

Not really paying attention (or caring), Loid nodded at his daughter's comment and resigned himself to his chair after flipping over the channel. The second his backside hit soft cushion, his fate was sealed. Loid's neck popped as he let it fall back against the headrest, and he sighed in content. Eyes closed, he didn't even care what was going on in the world; normally he'd scope out the state sponsored television for any potential leads, but this was truly the one day where being a spy wasn't his first priority. Such a notion would have been inconceivable to him not too long ago, and yet here he was. Feet up on the coffee table. Head rolled back. A daughter playing in her room with the dog. A wife who, at that same moment, was walking in to bring him coffee.

The ideal family. The crux of Operation Strix, and the one thing standing between world peace and all out war. Today though, for the first time in at least a while, Loid was fine with simply enjoying the simpler aspects of being a husband and father. He looked to Yor as she poured him a fresh cup, and she beamed in his direction once more.

Heat returned to his face.

It didn't have anything to do with the temperature of the coffee.

* * *

It wasn't long after breakfast that Yor decided to head out, although her plans ended up changing somewhat due to Anya's insistence.

Loid didn't make it any easier. Admittedly he probably should have backed her up, since ultimately it would benefit him in the end, though truthfully he really didn't care either way; Anya wanted to stay home with him while Yor went out and about. Her reasoning was that her and Bond's meeting was _very_ important, and mama couldn't bring him along with her to the bank or grocery store. When asked politely if she could reschedule their meeting, Anya vehemently shook her head _no._ The fate of the entire Forger family depended on it.

Yor looked to Loid, whom simply shrugged and offered to watch her for the day. Yor protested, saying that it was _his_ day and that she had already promised to take care of everything. Loid reasoned that errands would be run much quicker without having to babysit as well, and, besides, watching his daughter would be easy. It's not like he hadn't done it a million times before, and she'd apparently be in her room with Bond through out most of it. Yor bit her lip and sighed, though eventually relented. She eventually waved her family goodbye, though promised to speed through things in order to come back early and give Loid a break. He smirked and told her that was fine before closing the door behind her.

That was over two hours ago. In that span of time, not much had really changed. Loid still lounged about in his PJ's. The TV continued to run, though he really only paid attention to bits and pieces here and there. He'd fetched what remained of his paper and was reading through that, though again only halfheartedly. He was almost tempted to hijack one of Anya's Spy Wars comics, though he'd read through all of them already. Likewise, he was used to hearing the background noise of a Bondman cartoon playing, though none ever came.

Ever since Yor had left, Anya had held up in her room with Bond. She was probably playing spy again, however that usually entailed heavy-footed running around the apartment and terrible attempts at being sneaky. If his position as an undercover agent wasn't so...undercover, Loid would've had half a mind to give her a few pointers himself. But it was, and he wouldn't. All he could do was sit there and pretend not to be stared at obviously from around the corner, or humor her from time to time when she came in to interrogate him.

Surprisingly, that seemed to be the case now.

He'd reached over to grab his lukewarm coffee, the last remnant of a pot that had long since been taken off the heat. Loid failed to notice Anya approach until he looked to the side and found her standing there with Bond next to her. For once his daughter had sneaked up on him, and Loid didn't know whether to be proud or disappointed in himself for his carelessness.

It ended up being a little of both. "Papa, me and Bond have been diss-cussing something all morning and we have come to an agreement!"

" _Discussing_ is one word, Anya," Loid corrected without missing a beat. He leaned back with beverage in tow. "And I'm listening."

Anya nodded as her father started to drink. "We both think it's time that you and mama got me a little brother or sister!"

The morning paper was ruined by a steady stream of coffee as it spewed violently from Loid Forger's mouth. Anya jumped back a little in an effort to not get wet herself, though she continued to smile at Loid as if just having brokered some kind of important deal. In truth, all she managed to do was immediately remind her father of a weeks worth of stress in an instant; all the progress towards relaxation he'd made that morning went straight out the window as he looked down at his daughter. He wiped the coffee from his chin.

"Excuse me?!" Loid ground out, flabbergasted. It felt like he'd just gotten punched in the gut.

"Yeah!" Anya reaffirmed. Her father's eye twitched. "I'd like a little sister, but a brother would be good, too!"

"Yor and I are _not-"_ Loid pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't even know what to say. "-We're _not_ going to have a baby, Anya! _"_

"Oh, not a baby!" Anya made a face. "They cry and drool and poop their pants! They don't have any babies at the orphanage, anyway. Just big kids like me!"

Loid froze. He stared at his daughter for a moment before easing up just a little. Internally, he sighed; she was talking about _adopting_ another kid, just as he had adopted her. He could work with that. The answer would still be, of course, _no,_ but at least they didn't have to have a full blown discussion about where babies came from. He shook his head.

"Anya, you're my daughter. My _only_ daughter." Loid tossed his ruined paper aside and leaned forward. "Yor and I are more than happy with just you."

Anya looked up at her father. She looked back to Bond who sat next to her, then frowned. Loid mimicked her. "Why do you suddenly want another sibling?"

Sibling? Anya scrunched up her face; she assumed that meant brother or sister. "Becky said that when mamas and papas have a kid, they fall in love. Or, something like that..."

"...I think you've got that backwards," Loid clarified softly. Anya tilted her head, and her father shook his. "I might have to have a talk with your friend Becky."

Loid knew where she was going with this. Really, it was his fault for not distancing himself more from Yor; she was playing a role, same as him, and it didn't involve the kinds of feelings one would usually associate with a husband and wife. Every blush, every smile, it was all an act. Admittedly, he found himself getting caught up in that act from time to time, and their daughter had picked up on it. Now Anya had it in her head that they'd fall in love and...keep doing all the same things they've been doing, except as a real family.

A normal papa. A normal mama. A normal Anya.

The more he thought about it though, Loid supposed there wasn't any _real_ harm in her fantasizing about such things.

She was a little girl. That's what little girls did, right? At least that's what he'd read in those parent self-help books, anyway. Marriage. Babies. Stuff they saw their moms do, they'd imitate. Loid supposed it was kind of similar to that; all she knew was that mama plus papa equaled child, and that love somehow factored into there somewhere. She just got the placement wrong, and he admittedly smirked at the thought of her hammering out the details with Bond in her room all morning. Anya had her own little mission she'd been working on, not too unlike his own.

"Our family's not going anywhere anytime soon," he said with a smile. Technically, that wasn't a lie. He'd said it in such a way that it wouldn't be.

Anya nodded. "I know...I just want you and mama to get along and be happy."

"We do," he replied. "And we are, trust me."

"I trust you, papa," Anya answered back. She ran her hand through Bond's fur and remained quiet for a while.

Loid's smile waned. Clearly something was still on her mind. "Is there anything else you wanted to discuss with me, Anya?"

Anya looked back up at her papa and considered for a moment. He waited patiently for her to respond, which she did so soon after. "Well...I just have a question now."

"Yeah?" Loid smirked. He wove his fingers together and leaned forward a bit more. "Well, go on. I'm all ears."

"Well..." Anya crossed her arms and thought real hard. "...Okay, so...if big kids come from the orphanage...then where exactly do _babies_ come from?"

Oh.

_Oh no._

Loid's face locked in place. The rest of his body halted along with him, the only movement he was able to muster being his eyelids as they shuttered closed. On the outside he tried to maintain his usual calm persona, though that was difficult when internally he was having the ultimate of fatherly meltdowns. How the hell was he supposed to answer this? She was too young for the birds and the bees, and there wasn't a ready-made lie he could just pull out and give her. Anya was perceptive, she could tell if he was blatantly lying; the stork story was a no-go, for sure.

It took a second, but Loid eventually got a grip with himself. He looked to his daughter and steeled his resolve. He knew exactly what to say.

"...Ask mama when she gets home."

Anya blinked with those big, empty eyes she sometimes wore when spacing out. Her father flinched. "...Okey dokey, papa!"

Crisis averted. Loid collapsed in on himself. He couldn't hide the sigh of relief as it escaped his lungs and he fell back onto his chair once more. Immediately the flood gates opened and a million things all ran through his head at once. Some were thoughts about how he _desperately_ needed to add a contingency plan for similar situations in the future, while others were about the chaos that would likely occur when Yor got home later after finishing her errands. He really did feel guilty about forcing the baton onto her like that, but he had no other choice. Besides...that's what moms did, right?

Handle all the baby stuff? At least, that's what he hoped, since he'd never even _thought_ about interacting with one before today.

Loid narrowed his eyes at the ceiling. The swirling sea of thoughts and images coalesced into one, though it was by no means intentional. Briefly, and against his will, the form of Yor appeared in his head. Hair down. Loose clothing. The same smile she'd given him at the breakfast table, only now a thousand times brighter. Next to him, Anya fisted the air and jumped up and down in victory as he and his wife held her swollen belly and stared into each other's eyes.

Immediately, Loid snapped to attention. He looked at the space next to him and was relieved to find it still empty. Yor was still out. Nothing had happened. There was nothing to worry about. There would _not_ be another Forger family member. He tried to calm himself. The storm had already passed, or so he thought. Normally that would be the case, but Loid was ignorant of one key detail.

"Papa?" Anya spoke up. Tiredly, Loid swiveled his head once more to look at down at her. "Do babies have something to do with big bellies?"

All the careful planning and conversational finesse in the world couldn't save him from the fact that his daughter, unbeknownst to him, was a telepath.

For what felt like the dozenth time that day, all the wind flew out from Loid's sails. At this point, all he could do was shake his head and internally scream at the rotten hand he'd been dealt. Loid didn't know where she was getting all of this from; he knew Becky's father was an important arms manufacturer, but at this point he had half a mind to go knocking on his door and demand to have a talk with _both_ of them. Presently, however, Loid couldn't deflect any longer. He knew Anya would just keep bringing the matter up until he told her something, _anything,_ to sate her curiosity.

"Y-yes," he replied slowly, taking time to formulate a convincing lie on the fly. "When girls want to have a baby, they eat a lot. It's called being pregnant."

Anya gasped. She clutched Bond tightly with both arms and she stared up at her papa. "So you mean if I eat a whole bunch, I'll have a baby?!"

"No!" Loid corrected immediately. He looked towards the ceiling again and tried to hide his exasperation. "It only...works if you're already a mama."

"Ohhh!" Anya nodded. That made sense. She thought again for a moment, "but then, how do you become a mama in the first place?"

Loid's strength was being sapped away by the second. Anya just wouldn't let him rest. "You have to adopt a kid from the orphanage first, otherwise it doesn't work."

Anya gaped. As if the lid had been blown open on a mystery that had plagued her since time immemorial, everything started to make sense now. No wonder mama and papa hadn't had a baby yet; papa made good food, but never enough to make her or mama super full. Anya understood that part. She stroked her little chin as another question popped into her head.

"Wait, but you said when mamas and papas fall in love they have a kid!" she pointed out astutely.

"...That's the other part you need," Loid tacked on. He was coming to his wits end. "Love. Adoption. Food. Baby."

Anya bobbed her head as all the pieces started coming together. "Okay...so that means you and mama _could_ have a baby then?"

Loid sighed; again with this? His daughter was persistent. "Regardless of whether or not Yor and I love each other, _there will be no babies._ Understood?"

Anya nodded firmly. Admittedly there were still a few loose ends that she wished her papa would clarify; specifically where the first babies came from, since you had to adopt a kid to make more kids. She wanted to ask, but figured he would probably just chase her away if she asked anymore questions. Besides, not even her papa knew _everything._ After all, he originally told her to ask mama, so that must have meant she knew more about babies than he did. Some questions were just better left unasked, especially since she got the answer she was looking for anyway.

Loid stared at his daughter in trepidation as she ran through things in her head. He fully expected her to continue interrogating him, but was pleased when she grinned eagerly and thanked him before running off back into her room. Bond barked as he followed after her, leaving Loid there on his chair to process everything that had just happened. He slunk down in defeat and rubbed his face; he knew at some point he was going to have to tell her the truth (or at least a better lie than the one he'd just given her), but for now he was just happy to get her out of his hair.

He looked at the clock on the wall; the conversation hadn't been long, but it certainly felt like an eternity to Loid. Yor would hopefully be getting back within the next couple of hours to relieve him of his babysitting duties, and the thought alone was enough to give Loid that push he needed to get through what remained of his time with Anya. He glanced over his shoulder at the hallway and sighed. So long as she didn't have any more questions about babies, the rest of his day off should be an uneventful one. With that in mind, Loid leaned back and refocused on the TV.

The doldrums of a monotone news anchor quickly lulled him into a quiet ease, and it wasn't long until his eyes shuttered as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It wasn't until Loid had adopted Anya that naps became a thing. Even now, he rarely took one. It being his day off was really the only reason he allowed himself to pass out in the first place, and even then he prided himself on being a light sleeper. The jingle of keys outside was enough to stir him awake, and by the time the door opened he was already wiping away the blear from his eyes.

"I'm home!" a familiar voice called out, followed by the sound of the door slamming shut.

Loid looked over, and was surprised to find Yor standing in the entryway with several larger-than-normal grocery bags. They looked heavy and obstructed her view, and it was a miracle she hadn't tripped over herself hauling them up the stairs by herself. Immediately Loid hopped up to help his wife. She gave no protest, mostly because she couldn't see him until he was already grabbing some of the bags from her hands. Once Yor realized what he was doing she made a stink, but Loid just shook his head and smiled. Day off or not, he could still help.

"I bought extra ingredients for tonight, just in case," she explained as the two of them filed into the kitchen. "I wanted to take a crack at making dinner."

Tempting fate again? The thought made Loid weary, but he said nothing aloud. He simply set his bags down and turned around to grab the remainder from Yor as she stood there and continued to talk about the recipe she'd discovered while at the grocery store. Loid absently listened, barely paying attention to her story. He was still a bit out of it from his nap, evidenced by the fact that when his hands accidentally cupped his wife's and she subsequently stopped talking altogether it took him a few seconds to realize what was going on.

Loid felt soft skin beneath his fingers and looked down. At that point his brain started working again and he looked back up at Yor to find her face frayed with embarrassment. A little pink dusted his own face, though it didn't cause him to freeze like it did her. Loid remained silent. He simply took the bags and placed them on the counter, then turned back around to face her. Thoughts from earlier echoed in his head. He'd said it himself; he got too caught up in playing husband and wife. Even now, he should really take his own advice and pretend like this never happened...

...Though what did he care? It was his day off, after all.

Loid briefly checked the time; almost three in the afternoon. He'd managed to do nothing for the better half of his Saturday, though the allure of such had waned considerably. Yor was making plans for dinner, though that wouldn't be for a while. Aside from that, he _really_ didn't want to become a guinea pig for a new Yor Forger original. He had something else in mind.

"Actually," he looked at the brown bags over his shoulder, "I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight? Just the two of us?"

"W-what? You mean like on a date?" Yor's eyes widened when Loid nodded. The red in her cheeks only got redder. "Tonight? But don't you want to take it easy?"

"I've been taking it easy all day," Loid shot back in amusement. "Besides, Anya and I spent all morning together. I figured I'd spend the rest of my day off with you, if that's okay?"

Yor suffered immediate tunnel vision. All she could focus on was her husband, and didn't even notice when Anya came hopping along. "...Of course! I'd love to!"

"Love to what?" the smallest Forger piped up. Bond came waddling up behind her as she poked her mama's side. "We going on a ooting?"

" _We're_ going on an _outing,_ " Loid corrected while motioning to himself and Yor. " _You're_ going to stay home with Frankie and behave until we get back."

"...Mama and papa are going on a date again?" Anya asked in surprise. Her father nodded, and immediately a sharp glint came into her eyes. "Okay! Have fun!"

"You asked Frankie already?" Yor asked bashfully, thinking Loid had already planned this out ahead of time. He flinched.

"Well, _no,_ but-" Loid recalled the monstrous bar tab Frankie had left him after that cigar lady's rejection. "-he owes me a favor. He'll do it, no problem."

Yor beamed. She gave Anya a quick hug (as she hadn't had the chance to give her one when she first walked in) and quickly made her way to her room to go change. Loid was left with all the groceries to put away, though he really didn't mind. It was the first real thing he'd had to do all day, and he knocked it all out rather quickly. Anya helped a little, though that amounted to little more than her putting a couple things away in the pantry before becoming bored and wandering into the living room to watch cartoons. Loid glowered at her through the kitchen window.

Yup, he definitely needed a little break from his daughter at the moment.

Yor ended up getting changed faster than Loid had anticipated. He'd barely put the last of the groceries away before she emerged out of the hallway sporting different clothes and tad more makeup. Anya noticed and complemented her mama promptly. Meanwhile, Loid looked her over before down at his own wardrobe; PJ's at three p.m was definitely not a good look on him. He desperately needed to change.

"This'll be so much fun!" Yor mused aloud. She wasn't really talking to Loid, but it still made him smile all the same.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Just give me a few minutes to put some clothes on and I'll give Frankie a call. We'll head out as soon as he gets here."

Yor nodded; finally, a date that didn't involve her being in pain the whole time from a gunshot wound to her backside. "Is there anywhere in particular you want to go?"

Loid shrugged. He knew she was asking because it was technically still his day, but honestly he just wanted out of the house. "Not really. We can grab something to eat and figure it out as we go."

"Oh," Yor replied. Loid raised a brow. "Actually, can we hold off on dinner for a while? I'd planned on cooking later in the evening, so I ate a big lunch while I was out. The food was good, but I'm so stuffed right now. I might pop!"

Loid nodded. A reasonable request. They could just walk around for a bit and work up an appetite, or stumble onto some other activity along the way. He smirked at his wife and she likewise glowed in his presence. He again heard his own voice chastise him for going through with all of this, but it fell on deaf ears. There was nothing wrong with sharing an evening with Yor; it was simply two adults enjoying each other's company. Besides, after that whole fiasco with Anya earlier he was more than ready to put their conversation behind him and move on.

Speaking of, he looked to the TV and expected to find his daughter there still glued to it. Instead, however, she was standing up facing him and Yor. Immediately a sense of dread washed over him when he caught sight of the look on her face; Anya's little green eyes were as wide as dinner saucers and her mouth hung open as if having just witnessed a murder in broad daylight. Internally, Loid had a mild panic attack. He kept a straight face for Yor's sake, as she didn't notice Anya with her back turned towards her, but in his head Loid quickly tried to figure out what the deal was. It didn't hit him until the very last second. Not until Anya's giant gape curled ecstatically, and she lifted her arms up in the air with the same exuberance she'd had when Bond first walked through the front door.

When another Forger had joined the family.

Loid opened his mouth, but it was already too late.

"MAMA'S **_PREGNANT!"_** Anya shouted at the top of her lungs. By the time Yor spun around, she was already hopping up and down in fervent joy.

Loid's soul left his body. He said nothing; words escaped him, and his ability to form a coherent thoughts went completely out the window as his daughter repeated herself once more. Loid couldn't have possibly fathomed that his cover story would fail _this_ spectacularly, _this_ quickly. All he could do was stare, slack jawed, as Yor melted into the deepest shade of red he'd ever seen. This wasn't simply blush. For a moment, the skin all over her body took on the same hue as the crimson of her eyes. She wasn't simply embarrassed. She was _mortified._

"Anya?!" Yor gasped, covering her mouth. Anya danced in place and ignored her mama completely. "Where did you hear that from?! That's not true! Loid and I haven't even-!"

"-Yor!" Loid yelped. She spun back around and caught sight of his face, which in instant had become just as red as her own. Her head spun. So did his.

"N-no! I wasn't going to say _that!_ " Yor squealed in pure duress. She buried her face in her hands. "Not that...! I mean- Loid, I...!"

The heat between them multiplied tenfold. Yor was bad enough when she was caught off guard, but this was on an entirely different level. She couldn't so much as breathe in Loid's presence, and he didn't fare much better. When Anya started to march around in a circle and triumphantly chant the word "baby" over and over again, their plans for the evening promptly disintegrated. Without so much as another word to her husband, Yor hid her face from him and dashed back into her bedroom, leaving Loid to stare straight ahead and wonder where it all went wrong.

All he could do was stand there and listen to his daughter's unbridled excitement at the prospect of a little brother or sister. Loid wanted to be mad, but ultimately he just couldn't bring himself to hold it against her. He knew Anya's intentions were good; the only reason she was so excited about this was because she thought it meant him and Yor loved each other. Also, admittedly, it was his fault for telling her all of this in the first place. That still didn't change the fact that he and Yor would have to have a long talk about this once everything calmed down, assuming it ever _did_ calm down.

Loid bowed his head in defeat. Had he known this is what awaited him today, he would've happily sucked it up and taken on another mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'd slow down on the updates but dammit if this story idea didn't demand all of my attention the past few days! Consider this a late Father's Day update. Also, just the idea of Anya screaming "mama's pregnant" at the top of her lungs makes me cackle to myself like nobody's business.


	5. Mission 052: Follow-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Anya Forger, Bond**   
>  **Objective(s): ~~rest and relaxation~~ [AMENDED] restore family stability, clarify where babies come from**   
>  **Reporting status: ~~total failure~~ [AMENDED] successful**   
>  **[ADDENDUM 3] [HANDLER] _"I'm still a little fuzzy on the specifics. Perhaps I can subtly nudge Anya to ask and clarify for us both?"_**   
>  **[ADDENDUM 4] [TWILIGHT] " _If you do, I'll defect."_**

Loid closed the door behind him as his daughter's timid voice bade him goodnight. Their conversation about the day's... _excitement_ had been a long one, and by the end of it she was already starting to drift off to sleep. There were still things he wanted to discuss with her, specifically the topic that had caused this whole fiasco in the first place, but he supposed it could wait until tomorrow. Besides, there was another conversation he needed to have before bed, one that he'd been dreading since he and Yor had parted ways earlier in the day. He hadn't seen her since; the most he got was a tiny glimpse of her as she scurried into the bathroom to shower. He pretended not to see her, for her sake, but still wanted nothing more than to apologize to her.

The more he thought about it, the more Loid felt guilty about lying to Anya the way he did. It didn't matter that the topic of babies was difficult to talk about. That was all part of being a parent. Instead of doing the right thing and simply telling her the truth, he made up some stupid lie and ended up creating this whole mess the three of them found themselves in. Admittedly it wasn't the end of the world. Nobody got hurt, and perhaps even in a few weeks they could all laugh about it. But for now it was uncharted waters, and he was stuck as the captain of this hellish ride.

He had to navigate carefully, otherwise both his pride and family would be on the line.

Loid knocked on Yor's door. He did it quickly so as to not psyche himself out, however that only got him so far. Once he'd announced his presence, there was an awkward period where he just stood there and waited in silence. No acknowledgement to his presence or the sound of his knocking, and for a moment Loid's heart sank. Was Yor really so upset that she'd just flat out ignore him? He didn't think it was that big a deal at first, but with each passing second his anxiety grew exponentially. Maybe she needed more time? Maybe there wasn't enough time in the world that would fix this...?

"...C-coming!" Yor's stammered voice called out from the other side of the door.

Loid flinched when the knob suddenly turned. Before he knew it she was standing there, halfway between inside and outside her room. Her lips were nonexistent, and she stared forward eye-level with his chest; Yor dared not look him directly in the eyes at the moment, especially not with her face still as red as he remembered it. Loid summoned all that was left of his confidence and kept a straight face, though even then he couldn't get over the fact that the way she looked at the moment was dangerously similar to the mental image he'd had of her earlier in the day. Hair down. Nightgown. Red-faced (for different reasons). All that was missing was...well, the important thing. He tried not to think about it; the less he did, the better it was for everyone.

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," he eased. Yor straightened a bit.

"...Yes, I'm fine," she replied apprehensively. Her lips disappeared again. "Thanks for asking."

Loid's face freckled red a bit, and he looked away. "I also wanted to apologize for...well, all of that."

Yor clasped her hands in front of her and looked down. "Did...you and Anya talk about things while I was out?"

"She asked me where babies came from," Loid admitted. He closed his eyes. "I tried to handle it as best I could, but..."

"...Why on earth did she think I was pregnant, Loid?" Yor prodded. Her face got even more red, but she managed to look up at him.

Loid flinched at the sound of his name. He looked down at his wife and frowned. "I, uh, told her that when girls eat a lot they have a baby...?"

Silence. Again, a palpable awkwardness befell the two of them, only this time, from Loid's perspective, it was a thousand times worse. Yor was right in front of him, and she said not a word to him. It was much easier when he didn't have to look her in the eyes. Her face was unreadable, and it unnerved Westalis' greatest spy to no end; he couldn't tell what his wife was thinking, and it ended up being the scariest moment of his ten odd years as an intelligence agent. For a brief moment, Loid considered apologizing again, if only to fill the static with _some kind_ of noise.

Then, all of a sudden, a change. A smile. Small, at first, then a bit bigger. It was followed by the furrow of brows, and a look of incredulous amusement aimed directly at him. It wasn't the look of anger that he expected to be flung in his direction, and yet somehow he still managed to find himself pink in the face. Once more, he flashbacked to that glow he imagined her with earlier.

"Loid, you didn't?" Yor asked, clearly entertained. The implication in her voice was enough to make Loid's cheeks even more red.

"Like I said, I handled it as best I could!" he countered, now suddenly finding himself on the defensive. "I didn't know what else to say to her!"

"Why _that_ , though? Why not the stork or something?" Yor interrogated further. Her words were peppered with a light giggle, and Loid only got more flustered.

"She asked me what big bellies had to do with being pregnant, I just worked with what she gave me!" he explained, exasperated. "It made sense at the time, okay?"

"You know Loid, I assumed you being a doctor would make you better equipped to have this conversation with Anya, but I guess at the end of the day you're still just her papa."

Yor looked her husband square in the eyes and gave him the biggest smile he'd ever seen. The sight of it was enough to knock the wind out of him, and he failed to breathe for a moment in her presence. All he could do was stand there and, after taking a moment to realize he was at his wife's mercy, let a tiny smirk tug at his lips. Loid didn't like how he felt at the moment. Vulnerable. Open. Defenseless. He supposed that was better than having Yor be mad at him though, so he'd suck it up and let her have some fun at his expense. She'd earned that much, at least.

"I suppose I should tell her the truth, then?" Loid piped up after a few moments of silence.

"Could you handle that?" Yor asked, and immediately her husband straightened.

"Of course I can!" Loid shot back, though he sounded less sure of himself overall. "She just caught me off guard, is all."

"Mm," Yor hummed. Loid narrowed his eyes a bit; he could tell she didn't fully believe him. "Maybe not tell her the _whole_ truth, though?"

"Right," Loid nodded. Very quickly though, his face contorted with uncertainty. He didn't exactly know which parts to tell Anya and which parts to leave out.

Yor scanned Loid's face and could tell the dilemma he was in. Honestly, she kind of felt the same way, too. "Do you...want me to help you?"

Loid's eyes widened. For some reason, Yor's question caught him off guard. He felt open again and was no fan of the feeling, but ultimately he needed her. "Yes...please."

Yor nodded. Loid could tell she didn't feel entirely comfortable with all of this, though not to the extent that he was expecting. Her reaction was downright tame compared to how she usually handled these sorts of things, and Loid couldn't quite tell if she was just putting on a brave face for his and Anya's sakes or it was for another reason altogether. He would say nothing about it though, being more than happy just to get some much needed backup. All the spy experience in the world didn't amount to much right now, and he was just thankful Yor was there to help him pick up the pieces.

They agreed to go over all of this in the morning. Loid didn't have work, and they could sleep in a bit later to mull things over before talking to Anya. Husband and wife nodded to one another before bidding each other good night and retreating into their respective rooms. They gave each other one last look before the doors closed, and the hallway light was extinguished once more.

* * *

As Loid soon found out, even though Yor had never been in an actual relationship before, she wasn't a complete stranger to the topic of babies.

Having been the mother figure to Yuri for most of his life, it should have been obvious to Loid that the topic would have come up sooner or later between brother and sister. Theirs was by no means an accurate or in anyway _insightful_ conversation, Yor admitted, but it had placated her brother fine enough. Yuri was smart and loved biology, and his sister knew that at some point he would learn what he need to know through a book or something. At such a young age though, her job was just to sate his curiosity. The same held true for Loid and Anya, something she explained to him during their brief little pow-wow before their morning family meeting. Anya waited patiently on the couch with her little cup in front of her. Loid and Yor would eventually join her soon after.

They took up their seats and got straight into it. First thing's first; mama was most certainly _not_ pregnant. That little fact came as a quick blow to Anya's morale, and she slunk a little in her chair at the news. Papa had told her as much last night, but any lingering hopes were quickly dashed away when the words came straight out of mama's mouth, too. Yor smiled at her daughter.

"Food doesn't have anything to do with babies," she explained, glancing at Loid. He looked the other way, slightly embarrassed.

"Really?" Anya raised a brow. "So papa lied to me yesterday...?"

"No," Yor covered her husband's tracks. "He just didn't know. He's a boy, and boys don't know a lot when it comes to women and children."

Anya looked to her mama before turning around to stare at her papa. He squirmed a bit under her gaze, and flinched when she shot back with, "I guess you're right, mama."

"But where _do_ babies come from, then?" Anya continued. She looked back to Yor and gazed up at her expectantly. It was a question she just desperately needed answered.

Yor expected as much; children were always so inquisitive. "Well, Loid did get one thing right. You need to have a lot of love in order to have a baby."

"If you love each other, then you have a baby, right?" Anya prodded. Yor quickly shook her head, which only confused her daughter more.

"Nope, you also need a lot of time, planning, and commitment," mama revealed.

"It's like what we told you when Bond first came home," Loid added. Anya spun around to face him. "You have a responsibility to take care of him the rest of his life. The same is true for a baby."

How hypocritical of him to take this route with things, but he was only piggy-backing off what Yor was saying. And even then, his words rang true enough. Loid looked to his wife and found her nodding in approval; at least he wasn't saying the wrong thing at the moment. Anya stared at him for a bit before looking at the floor. She was thinking about what both of them were telling her, which was a good sign.

"A mama and papa have to be really sure they can take care of a baby before they have one," Yor pointed a finger in the air. "And even then, that's not the only thing."

"What else is there?" Anya continued questioning. At that point, Yor let a smile spread across her face. She leaned in close as if telling her daughter a secret.

"You have to make a wish." Yor glanced at Loid. She could see him tilt his head questioningly, though he kept quiet and continued to let her talk.

"A wish?" Anya's eyes lit up. "What kind of wish?"

Mama leaned back. "A very specific one. You have to wish that your family will be complete once the baby arrives."

Loid raised a brow in amusement. Yor gave him crap for his explanation of where babies came from, yet hers wasn't much better. Even so, Anya seemed to be eating up like nobody's business. She stared starry-eyed at her mama, and Loid could tell that a million things were racing through her mind all at once. Meanwhile, Yor watched their daughter and waited for her to rejoin the conversation. She had a feeling they were coming at the end of things, but wanted to be sure that Anya was completely satisfied before dropping the subject completely.

"It takes a lot of time to make a baby with a wish," Yor explained. "That's why you have to be really sure you want one before it comes."

"But don't you and papa want one?" Anya replied without missing a beat. The speed of her response made Yor's cheeks pink a little.

"Well..." Yor hesitated. She looked to Loid, who stared back at her wide-eyed. She grew more red. "...Our family is already complete, though. Isn't it?"

Anya blinked. She thought about it for a moment and glanced at both her parents. Whether she managed to see the fluster in both their faces or not (or even cared), neither Yor nor Loid could say. Bond stood close by, and he whimpered a little as Anya looked to him, too. Memories of all the fun times they'd had together filled her little head, and she tried to pinpoint any one moment where she felt like it wasn't enough, like they were missing something as a family. Try as she might though, Anya just couldn't do it. Every lazy day at home, every family ooting, every time the three of them sat down together for dinner and ate papa's yummy food...it was all Anya ever wanted. There wasn't anything lacking. They didn't need a baby to be a complete family. They already were one.

"Yeah, it is," Anya answered after stewing over the question for a while. She looked at her mama and papa. "All we need is the four of us!"

Loid exhaled. He looked to Yor, and found her looking exactly how he felt; relieved. "That's right. You've got Yor and I all to yourself."

"And Bond!" Anya added with a smile. Her dog barked in agreement, and she hopped off the couch to go ruffle up his fur.

The sounds of giggles and boofing filled the living room, and at that moment Loid and Yor knew their conversation was finished. They sighed and smiled at one another, while Anya started to rough house with Bond in the background. Even in the midst of their silent celebration, Loid still instructed his daughter to take their playing to the other room. A scramble of loud footsteps and nails against hard wood erupted as the pair dashed off for Anya's room, and the sound of a door slamming shut signaled to her mama and papa that the morning meeting was officially adjourned.

"Glad that's over," Loid shook his head tiredly. He collapsed against the back of his cushion.

"Agreed," Yor added. She mimicked her husband, and the two simply sat on the couch together for a time.

After a moment of silence, Loid looked to his wife and smirked. "You did a great job explaining things to her. Thank you."

"Oh! It was nothing," Yor smiled, embarrassed. "Little kids want to believe in magic. Even Yuri fell for it originally, though he grew out of it."

"No, that took a lot of skill," Loid appreciated. His smile grew as Yor's eyes widened. "I'm glad that I have a wife who can take care of things when I can't."

Lips squiggled. Face flushed. Yor stared at her husband before letting her eyes fall to the floor. "Well...the only reason I was confident enough to do it was because you were here."

It wasn't a lie. She'd had a similar conversation with her brother years before, but that wasn't really the same; the dynamic she had with Anya was completely different from the one she had with her brother, not to mention she didn't have a husband who was watching her the entire time. The thing about that though was, despite it being kind of embarrassing have to talk about these things in front of him, it helped knowing that Loid felt just as awkward as she did. He was always so calm and composed. Seeing him like that, like _her,_ made it seem more, well, doable.

Loid blinked at his wife's comment. He wasn't expecting that, and didn't know quite what to say in response. Yor picked up on that right away and apologized like she usually did, though it was quickly countered with a smile and a shake of the head. She had a habit of catching him unawares and, though it irked him as a spy to no end, as a _husband_ he had grown quite accustomed to it. All the more reason why, as he glanced at the clock up on the wall, Loid reevaluated some things; mainly being his plans for later that evening.

"Yesterday didn't quite turn out the way we'd hoped," he started, catching Yor's attention. "But I was kind of hoping to make it up to you tonight?"

It took a second, but Yor picked up on what he meant. A smile wormed its away onto her lips. "Well, dinner _does_ sound nice this time."

Loid smirked. He pulled himself up from his seat and held a hand out for Yor. She took it without hesitation. "Then it's a date."

Loid helped his wife to her feet. Eyes lingered on one another for a moment before breaking away, and that would wind up being the signal to start the rest of their day. From that point on, things proceeded how they usually would on a Sunday morning. Loid went into the kitchen to get to work on breakfast. Yor went to go gather the laundry and get to work on folding, though not before picking out what she was going to wear for her night out with Loid. Anya continued to cackle and play with her furry friend in her room, and all fell into place as was usual. The Forgers, content, living their lives as all families do. As to the further discussion of babies, such a topic was brushed aside and buried along with so many others. At least until Anya outgrew believing in the whole wish story.

Such a time would be far removed from the end of Operation Strix. As to what would happen after that, well, who really was to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted it, you got it! A continuation from the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who has been reading this collection, it really means a lot to me!


	6. Mission 075: In the Dollhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Anya Forger, Loid Forger**   
>  **Objective(s): keep papa out, avoid a peanut apocalypse**   
>  **Reporting Status: ~~successful~~ [AMENDED] one out of two ain't bad**

"Hohoho~!" the evil Dr. Badman laughed as he loomed over his army of gangsters and criminals. "Finally, all of Ostania will be ours!"

The room filled with the boy-stir-rus calls of hundreds of lackeys, all of them eager and ready to enact their leader's plan to take over the country once and for all. They'd spent months tainting Ostania's peanut supply in secret, and now all they had to do was wait for Badman to press the button. Once he did, a signal would go out all across the country and anyone who had unknowingly ate an evil peanut would be turned into one themselves! The Prime Minister! Housemaster Henderson! _Anya Forger!_ They would all become useless (albeit delicious) nut-people! The country would be his for the taking! Then, with no one to stop him, they would set their sights on Nielsberg! Westalis! And finally, the entire world! It was only a mater of time now...

...But not if one man had anything to say about it!

Out from the sea of nameless faces, a lone bad guy hopped up onto the stage where Dr. Badman stood. The criminal leader spun around and tilted his head, confused as to why one of his sub-ord-a-nits would walk up there before it was time for the evil award show that was scheduled for later (he had bought trophies and everything, they were very shiny). The mysterious man reached into his back pocket and pulled out...a gun! Shocked, Dr. Badman threw his hands into the air in surprise. Before he could say anything, the gun-wielding lackey grabbed his own face and pulled it right off, revealing himself to be none other than...!

...Twilight! The greatest spy in the world!

"Your reign of terror ends here, Dr. Badman!" Papa- er, _Twilight,_ shouted out heroically.

"Dam you, Twilight!" the hostaged villain scowled. "How did you make it through my advanced security systems?!"

"It was easy." Twilight motioned to the door with the EXIT sign hanging above it. "I just walked through the back door when no one was looking!"

"Blast! I knew we should have had somebody watching that door!" Dr. Badman snapped his fingers. "It all seems so obvious now, looking back on it!"

The master spy shrugged. Most people wouldn't have thought a spy would just walk through the backdoor of a secret hideout like that so brazenly, and they'd have been right; but part of being the best spy in the world meant being unpredictable, and Twilight was the best of the best. Dr. Badman didn't stand a chance. Besides, he'd been scoping the place out for months ahead of time. He knew every nook and cranny of the large au-di-tor-ium like the back of his hand, so even if the door had been locked he could have just jumped down from the roof (or something).

Dr. Badman raised his arms up higher as Twilight walked up closer to him with his gun drawn. The crowd of henchman in the stands became completely silent, unsure of what to do next. They could only watch as their boss squirmed on stage in front of them and clenched his teeth. Soon, all of their evil plans would be ruined by one man. What were they to do...?!

* * *

/*\

* * *

"...You doing alright in here?" Loid asked as he stuck his head in.

The door had been cracked open. Walking by on his way to the bathroom, Loid noticed his daughter held up in the far end of her room. She was on the floor by herself surrounded by all of her dolls, and he was surprised to not find her playing spy or wrestling with the dog as per usual. Of course he quickly realized it _was_ spy related when she started mentioning guns and bad guys, and he couldn't help but to give a defeated sigh privately to himself. Not to say he wasn't proud (in a weird sort of way) that she had this strange fixation with spies, but sometimes he wished his daughter would settle for playing with dolls like other little girls her age.

Anya swiveled around in her spot, holding in her hand two different toys. One of them was her faithful friend Chimera (playing the part of Dr. Badman), while the other was a new, temporary addition to her toy chest. The moment she realized that papa was there, Anya tried to hide it behind her back. He quickly noticed (because she couldn't hide anything from papa) and raised a brow. Anya's face fell flat as he walked in the room and came over to her; she just wanted to be left alone and play make-believe in peace!

"Yup, I'm fine papa," Anya answered his question a couple seconds too late.

Loid accepted it all the same but still pointed to the new doll in her hand. "I've never seen that one before."

"I borrowed it from my friend Becky," Anya revealed. She glanced down at it knowingly; it was the Loid doll Becky had made in art class.

"What's it supposed to be, exactly?" Loid questioned, stroking his chin with interest.

"It's a hobo," Anya replied without missing a beat. She stared her papa dead in his eyes; if there was one thing he'd taught her how to do, it was how to lie.

"Mm, certainly looks like a hobo," Loid nodded. He wasn't sure how a hobo fit into playing spy, but didn't press the matter. "Alright, well, if it belongs to Becky then be sure to take good care of it."

Anya nodded as her father turned to leave. He left the door cracked as he exited, leaving Anya there to stare into the hallway to make sure he had fully left before continuing. Once satisfied, she looked over to her assortment of playthings and grinned devilishly to herself. She reached over behind her and grabbed a toy of her own making, one she had only recently created from a collection of things from around the house. A doll that would put Becky's to shame, or at least in Anya's mind that was the case. It was finally time to introduce it!

Anya cleared her throat and steeled her eyes. The scene was set once more.

* * *

/*\

* * *

"...Now, my contracted minion!" Dr. Badman threw his head back and shouted to the rafters. "Kill the hero spy!"

Twilight hesitated. He looked up to see where Badman was looking at; at first he couldn't see anything, and he quickly returned his gaze thinking that maybe the doctor was bluffing. At the last second though, his eyes spotted something fly out at him. He just barely had enough time to jump out of its way, and a long, thin knife stuck into the wood where he'd just been standing. Twilight blinked, then looked back up. This time, he could make out the figure of a woman before she jumped down. He gasped, thinking there was no way anyone could jump from that height and survive. But Thorn Princess Yor was no ordinary assassin; she was the _best_ assassin.

She landed in front of Twilight, and stood between him and Dr. Badman. She held out a knife in front of her and glared at her gun-wielding add-ver-sary, but then quickly realized who she was fighting. Her jaw dropped, as did Twilight's, and the two of them stared at one another in disbelief. Dr. Badman, none the wiser, tilted his head in confusion. Why did they stop? They were supposed to be fighting right now! He took a couple steps backwards for good measure, and found that neither of them even noticed. They were too busy staring at one another.

"Loid?" Yor gasped, cupping her cheek with her free hand. She couldn't believe it! "You're a spy?"

"And you're an assassin?!" Loid replied in-cred-you-luss-ly. "Why are you working for Dr. Badman? He's pure evil, Yor!"

"He said he would hurt our sweet, amazing daughter Anya if I didn't do what he said!" Yor frowned dramatically. The villain laughed behind her.

"He's lying to you, Yor!" Loid clenched his fist as he lowered his gun. "Even if you do, the **[BAD WORD]** will still end up turning her into a peanut like everyone else!"

Again Yor gasped. She turned around to confront the evildoer, but found he was already trying to make his escape. During their conversation, he'd scooted far enough away from them that neither saw him take off in a mad dash to exit the stage. Angrily, Yor raised up her knife to throw it at him but was immediately interrupted by the sound of a hundred minions all clamoring to make it on stage to subdue her.

"Had I known this would be a touching family reunion, I would have made plans to stay and watch!" Badman cackled from afar. "But unfortunately, I really must be going!"

The villain's laughter faded in the chaos. Meanwhile, Yor hopped backwards to avoid the bad guys and accidentally bumped into her husband. The two of them looked at each other and nodded; if they were going to make it out alive, they were going to have to work together. Spy and assassin vs. everyone else! Several goons hopped up in front of Loid. They carried pipes and other heavy stuff, and tried to swing at him wildly. He ducked and effort-less-lee shot at them with his silenced pistol. The bad guys didn't know what hit them.

Loid continued to dispatch enemies as Yor picked off more people with her expert knife throwing skills. Bodies hit the floor left and right, but no matter how many they killed more still came. Pretty soon, the entire stage was filled with evil minions that all wanted to be the one to finish off the Forger family once and for all. Loid and Yor backed up against the big red curtain (because all stages had big red curtains) and they made their last stand. The hero spy loaded up the last of his bullets, and the skillful assassin readied her final knife.

"Do you trust me, Loid?" Yor called out to her husband as the villains swarmed all around them.

"Spies can't afford to trust anyone," Loid muttered, before flashing her a smirk. "But for you, I'll make an exception."

Yor nodded. She spun around and jumped up. She bounced off the sides of the walls again and again, back and forth, higher and higher until she made it to the very top. All the bad guys held their breath as they watched her slice through the curtain behind her and Loid, and the heavy red velvet fell over both of them. The whole room froze a moment before everyone ran over to pick the curtain up, but when they went to go look, spy and assassin were gone! They were so mes-mer-rised by how cool Yor looked, they didn't even see the two of them make their brilliant escape!

The Forgers emerged out from a trap door that theater people use a minute later. Loid had discovered it while staking the place out, and he figured it would come in handy during just such an occasion. It led them through the basement, and it snaked all around like a maze. Eventually, they ran until they came to a door and it opened up into the main hallway of Dr. Badman's fortress. They snuck behind a potted plant as several of the doctor's henchman casually walked by, and waited until the coast was clear. After that, they started to make a break for it.

They were still in the evil aud-i-tor-ium area; they needed to get to the evil lair area. Luckily there was a map like the kind they have at the mall (with the big **YOU ARE HERE** marker on it) that showed them the way, so they just followed that. The Forger couple ran as fast as they could in order to catch up to Dr. Badman. They needed to stop him before it was too late!

"We can't let him press that button!" Loid shouted.

"He'll never get the chance! I'll make sure of it!" Yor replied darkly.

Dr. Badman had a good head start on them, but he was old, bald, and smelly (also he didn't run fast). Loid and Yor were much quicker than him, and they arrived at the same time he did. The doctor froze in complete surprise, and he threw his arms up yet again. Loid pulled his gun on the man, while Yor ran up to him with her knife. Dr. Badman acted like he was cornered, but out of nowhere he pulled out a little box with a big red button on it! Yor stopped just before she could cut the bad guy down, and the evil doctor laughed in victory as he waved the metal box in both their faces.

"Actually, I had the button the whole time!" he cackled. "I could have pressed it whenever I wanted to!"

"So why didn't you then?" Loid growled, still pointing his gun at the villain.

"Because I wanted to strike a deal with you, Twilight! Or should I say, _Mr. Forger?_ " Dr. Badman grinned devilishly. "Your life, for your daughter's!"

"Never!" Yor shouted. She ran up to end things once and for all, but was stopped when Badman lowered his finger just shy of pressing the button.

Loid narrowed his eyes. He looked at his arch nemesis, then at his wife. Yor gasped when he suddenly nodded. "Fine."

"Loid, no! You said it yourself, you can't trust him!" she pleaded with Loid. He shook his head.

"It's the only way to make sure Anya doesn't turn into a peanut, Yor. I have to do it."

Defeated, Yor watched as her husband lowered his gun and walked towards Dr. Badman. He looked into her eyes as he walked past and, before he turned his head away from her, he winked. She held her breath as Loid held up his end of the bargain. He handed his pistol to Dr. Badman, who snatched the weapon quickly and greedily. Without another word, he raised the gun to Loid Forger's forehead and, in one last maniacal laugh, pulled the trigger. He held his breath, expecting a loud boom, but none ever came. He blinked, then looked at the gun. He shook it, and found it much lighter than it should have been.

No bullets!

He'd been tricked!

Before Dr. Badman even knew what happened, Yor Forger sprang into action. She lunged at the villain with her trusty knife and slew the evil doctor right where he stood. He fell over with the knife still sticking out of his head, and the button dropped along with him. Loid jumped to catch it before it hit the ground, making sure the button didn't accidentally go off in the process. He landed with a thud, and let out a sigh of relief when he realized it hadn't been triggered. Yor rushed over to his side to help him up.

"You were incredible, Loid!" she smiled as he rose to his feet.

Loid shook his head. "You were the one who finished him off, Yor. Not me."

"But you were the sneaky one," Yor blushed. "Well, you _are_ a spy, I suppose. How exciting!"

"Not as exciting as finding out my wife is an assassin," Loid smirked. "I guess that certainly makes up for your cooking."

Yor's face fell flat, but quickly wormed into a smile when Loid came closer to her. He stashed the button in his back pocket for safe keeping and holstered his trusty silenced pistol at his side. With Dr. Badman defeated and the world safe for another day, the Forger couple let their guard down for a moment and stared into each other's eyes. They forgot all about the fact that they were still technically in an evil fortress (they'd escape eventually), and focused only on one another. Loid put an arm around Yor and pulled her in tight.

"Y'know, I've loved you since the day we met," Loid muttered to his wife. "I just didn't realize it until now."

"I love you, too, Loid." Yor wrapped her arms around her husband's neck and smiled. "We should get married for real this time."

"With a big wedding, and Anya can be the flower girl," Loid nodded. Yor blushed in agreement, and the two of them closed their eyes as they leaned in and-

* * *

/*\

* * *

"-Anya, are you...making the hobo kiss a bundle of dried spaghetti?"

Anya suddenly straightened. Still huddled over facing the wall, she turned around to find her papa standing there in the doorway again. He looked at her with equal parts concern and confusion. Anya blinked, then looked down at her hands. She had the Loid doll's face smooshed up against the doll she had made for mama; really it was nothing more than some sticks of dried spaghetti that she'd stolen from the pantry, like papa said, though to be fair she also glued on some black felt for hair and held it all together rather nicely with a whole lot of rubber bands.

Caught in the act, Anya took a moment to gather her thoughts. She looked up at Loid, stony faced, and blinked a few more times before shaking her head.

"No, papa, he's _eating_ the spaghetti!" Anya corrected, as if her papa was stupid for thinking otherwise. "That's what hobos do, 'cuz they're hungry!"

"Oh, um...right, of course?" Loid pinked a little. He nodded, though still wasn't quite sure why the spaghetti had hair. "My mistake."

Anya crossed her arms. She knew what to do to make her papa leave. "Do you want to stay and play dolls with me, papa?"

"N-no, that's alright," he stammered, as she had anticipated. "I have to, uh, go and get dinner ready."

Anya nodded. She smiled at her papa, who in turn gave a reluctant smile back. He walked out once more, leaving Anya there to continue with her make-believe. She made double sure to not be interrupted a third time, however; a quick walk over to the door in order to slam it shut was all it took before she returned to take up her mama and papa dolls once more. Anya looked over her shoulder before picking back up where she left off, and gave an impish smile as Twilight and Thorn Princess made preparations for the biggest, most coolest spy/assassin themed wedding of all time, with her as the flower girl, of course.

She hadn't decided yet if the mafia would attack _before_ or _after_ the reception, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick little story about Anya's imagination. Any inconsistencies are because she's six (and totally not because the author has no idea what he's doing half the time...<_<)


	7. Mission 084: Three Knocks to Say I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Dominic**   
>  **Objective(s): bring her back**   
>  **Reporting Status: N/A**

Nervous fingers wrapped around a bundle of green stems, the flowers attached smelling sweet despite the heavy bitterness that hung around them.

This wasn't something he'd ever thought he'd need to do, because he never thought he'd ever let things spiral the way they had. At the time it took him by surprise, and even now it still sort of did. Of all the skills Loid claimed as part of his vast repertoire, apologizing wasn't counted among them. Not truly. Any admission of fault or guilt always came with an ulterior motive. Even now such was the case, but the successful outcome of his mission was only part of why he found himself standing in front of someone else's door right now.

There was another reason why Loid brought up a hesitant fist to announce his presence.

The sun had almost waned. It was nearly dark out. He knocked once, twice, then stopped before committing to a third. His arm hung there as he stared at the wooden barrier in front of him, the one thing that kept him from seeing his wife. Such had been the case for nearly two days now. He'd seen her leave and enter several times as he scouted from a nearby building, but had made no attempt to contact her. Not that he didn't want to. No, such was far from the case.

The night it happened...Loid had retreated into himself for a time. When Yor walked out the door, those first few hours were the roughest. Anger. Hostility. Frustration. There would have been physical signs of such across the living room, had it not been for the presence of Anya. Despite it all, his usual crossness included, Loid kept it all under control. There were no smiles. No pleasant good nights shared before he tucked his daughter into bed. But he at least showed her how to handle things right when two people fought; don't take it out on other people. Respect yourself. Respect the other person, too. There was yelling, and he knew she hated hearing it, but throughout it all they never stopped treating each other like people.

He didn't consider himself much of a father, but he'd at least gotten that much right in teaching her.

Morning came. Breakfast was quiet. The empty seat in front of Loid served as a cold reminder of words exchanged the night before, and the food on his plate became just as frigid before he finally threw it in the trash, untouched. Anya was reassured that everything was fine, though Loid knew she was perceptive. Even as he got her ready for school and saw her off at the bus stop, it was obvious that his daughter wouldn't be paying much attention in school that day. For once, at least in public, Loid afforded Anya a hug before scooting her onto the school bus. It rolled off a minute later, leaving Loid standing there alone. It was normally at that point where he and Yor would go their separate ways for the day before coming back home in the evening.

Warm greetings as one arrived while the other was home.

Dinner and discussions about the day they'd had, followed by chores.

A minor argument involving homework, cartoons, or whose turn it was to take Bond out.

And at the end of it all, he and Yor would tuck Anya into bed and follow her soon after. A smile. A promise to see each other in the morning. Then they'd go their separate ways once again, each to their own room, only to reconvene to do it all over again tomorrow. Simple. Routine. It was all part of the ideal family that he'd set out to create for the sake of his mission, and to say that he felt empty when he suddenly was deprived of it all yesterday would have been a huge understatement. Although, now that he thought about it, it also wasn't entirely accurate.

He didn't feel empty when Yor wasn't there anymore. He didn't feel empty when Anya stared straight ahead, unresponsive, as he asked her about her school day.

He didn't feel empty, _technically_ , because there was still something there to fill the void; pain, like a twisting knife thrust into his chest. Twisted and sadistic.

It was all he could focus on as he forewent everything else that day. It was the only thing he carried with him as he went between dark alleys and rooftops, all in the pursuit of the woman who'd cut him deeper than anyone else ever had. It didn't take him long to find her; there were only two places he could think of that Yor would go after leaving, and thankfully she'd chosen her co-worker Camellia's house over her brother's. Had she arrived at Yuri's doorstep in the middle of the night, frustrated and tearful, Loid knew there would have been hell to pay.

Not that he disagreed with deserving any of it.

Lead-laden with guilt and remorse, Loid slowly tailed his wife when she left with Camellia for work. Fists curled at his side the whole time in frustration at both himself and the fact that Yor looked as torn up as he felt. Never once did he see her look up; she stared at the floor the whole time, even after arriving at work. He could eye her a little bit from the top corner of the window she sat by, but nothing that would satisfy his desire to see her. He partly wished he had bugged her, if only to figure out what her office friends were all telling her at that moment.

He could only imagine what those catty women were filling her head with.

_He's going to divorce you. Y_ _ou shouldn't have left him. Mothers don't walk out on their children. Husbands don't chase their wives out like cheap harlots._

Loid spat venom at the thought, but could offer nothing for rebuttal. It's not like he could talk to them, to Yor, and there wasn't anyone he could consult with moving forward. Franky was the only person who would've bent their ear, but he wasn't that desperate to be heard; not when he knew what that blasted informant would say. _You got too attached,_ he'd chide from his high horse. _You let your emotions get in the way, and now she's gone._ As if he didn't realize any of that already? As if he didn't already know that for the first time in his entire career, he'd screwed up royally?

Yor wasn't his real wife. He didn't love her. This entire arrangement was just so he could complete Operation Strix. No feelings needed. Emotions, not recommended.

So then why did he get so upset that night? Why did she? They were strangers living together under the same roof. They owed each other nothing. No consideration. No commitment aside to keep up appearances. It should have ended cordially, simply. A disagreement. An argument. A clash. A fight. Then, silence. A quiet that cut Loid far deeper than it should have. He was nothing to Yor, and she him. That was the honest truth, and yet...he'd never felt like this before. For all intents and purposes, she was a target in a mission. He'd bedded women for months in the deepest of undercover missions, and didn't bat an eye when it came time to cut them loose. So why then did he suffer like this with a woman he'd never even hugged before? Held hands with? Kissed?

Why did he care what she thought of him? Why did the sight of her tearful departure make him feel like the worst human being on the planet?

Loid never did come to a proper conclusion. The most he could manage was to stew on these thoughts for the better part of two days. They plagued him as he followed Yor back to Camellia's after work, and she disappeared from sight once more. She didn't leave until the following morning, or if she had Loid wasn't present to see her. Anya still needed looking after, and Franky would only watch her for so long without asking questions as to why he was playing emergency babysitter. Loid still had to play papa, regardless of whether mama was there or not.

The night repeated itself. Anya's silence. An ever-present emptiness. They exchanged muted good nights before Loid flipped the lights off and closed the door behind him. He turned to where Yor would normally be, and swallowed to push down the tightness in his throat. They didn't share a room, hadn't so much as _stepped_ in each other's rooms, but even so his bed felt emptier that night.

He didn't get much sleep. It wasn't until dawn peeked through his windows to taunt him that Loid finally decided enough was enough.

Another night like that was something he didn't think either Anya or him could survive. For the sake of his family, his _fake_ family, he'd do whatever it took to fix things. Operation Strix was the root cause for all of this, but for once that wasn't the main thing on Loid's mind. Operation Strix wasn't the reason why he hugged Anya once more before school. Operation Strix didn't call for him to go to the flower shop and buy the prettiest bouquet he could find. WISE made no mention of him going to someone's house late at night to knock on their door to beg for forgiveness.

He didn't need to knock a third time to make sure the people inside could hear him, but dammit if he didn't do it anyway.

The bang his knuckles made echoed, and Loid grabbed the bouquet with both hands. His fingers curled tighter, as did his throat. Air escaped him as the door suddenly turned, thinking for a moment that it would be Yor who was on the other side. Equal parts relief and disappointment filled his chest as the figure of a man appeared, and Loid recognized him as Camilla's boyfriend, Dominic.

"Ah, Loid," he nodded in his direction. He gave a tiny, reserved smile as if to convey his understanding of the whole situation. Loid appreciated it.

"Dominic, it's been a while," Loid replied politely as he removed his hat. "I was...trying to get in touch with Yor and...was wondering if she might have stopped by...?"

He of course knew she was there already. He'd confirmed as much before even attempting to come over in the first place. The perch atop the apartment complex across the street had been kept warm by him for hours as he waited for a simple glimpse of Yor to ascertain her whereabouts. As it turned out, she had arrived later than usual. Side-by-side with Camilla, they had both arrived in higher spirits than the previous day. Yor looked better off, and for some reason that ended up making that knife in Loid's chest turn just a little bit further.

Dominic glanced at the large bundle of flowers, and Loid couldn't help but to flinch a little. Why bring a bouquet with him if he didn't already know she was there? His cover story was sloppy, just like the rest of him these past forty-eight hours. He fully expected to be called out on his lie. Dominic seemed smart enough to figure it out quickly, but if he did he didn't mention it. If anything, his smile got a little bit bigger. The gesture itself was enough to put Loid at ease a little bit; this wasn't going to be him vs. Camilla and her boyfriend, at least.

"Yeah, well, actually she's been here for the past couple days," Dominic revealed, scratching the back of his head. "She told us what happened."

"...Did she now?" Loid did his best to keep a straight face, but it took greater effort than usual. A gloom crossed his eyes that he just couldn't hide no matter how hard he tried.

"Yeah, you had a fight," Dominic replied simply. "That's what couples do, right?"

Loid narrowed his gaze in quick contemplation and muttered, "I suppose."

"Listen, between you and me, Camilla and I butt heads sometimes," the man reassured him. "But you know what? Even when one of us steps away for a while, we always come back to iron things out later. All that matters is you're still willing to work through it together. That's the most important part of any relationship, if you ask me."

Loid's eyes widened. He refocused on Dominic, and for the first time in two days allowed himself to smile a little. "You're right. I appreciate the advice, thank you."

"I mean, you're married. You already know all this, of course!" Dominic laughed a little, almost embarrassed. "It's just...probably good to hear it every once in a while, y'know?"

Silence fell over them after that. It wasn't wholly unwelcome, and served to give Loid a breather before the moment of truth finally came. After a long minute, Dominic finally spoke up. He complemented the flowers in Loid's hands, something he forgot to do previously, and added that Yor would like them before excusing himself to go fetch her. Before Loid could even voice his reluctant plea to hold on a second, Dominic had already closed the door. In an instant he was left standing there once more. Alone with his thoughts. Nervous and uncertain.

He hated this. He hated not knowing what the future would hold for him. He hated the fact that he was hung up on the success of a fake marriage that ultimately meant nothing to either of them. But most of all, he hated knowing that things had gotten this far. That Yor would need to up and leave just to get away from him, from Anya, spoke to how stupid he really was about this whole thing. She wasn't his wife. Not really. However, that didn't mean he shouldn't treat her like she was. Yor was kind, supportive, cheerful, and everything else he wasn't. At the end of the day, the circumstances of their marriage didn't really matter. They still lived together. They still took care of Anya together. They still relied on one another. They still...cared about each other's well being. He knew that much.

If he didn't care, he wouldn't have gone through with all of this.

If he didn't care, he wouldn't have stopped breathing the moment she appeared before him.

Lost in his thoughts, Loid didn't notice until the door closed behind her. The sound snapped him back to reality, and it was then he noticed that she was wearing different clothes from when she'd left. His ever-analytic brain recalled she hadn't even bothered to pack anything before walking out. He also recalled that on her way back this evening with Camilla, she had a department store bag at her side. They must have gone out shopping for new clothes. It was a necessity, to be sure, but Loid couldn't help but dread the implication; was she starting anew, wardrobe included?

"Loid..." Yor breathed. Her face was frazzled. She stared at him, but kept breaking contact to glance at the floor every couple seconds.

"Yor, I..." He froze. Loid's calm exterior was nowhere to be found, and for the first time he was no smooth operator. "...I brought you flowers."

Loid held the bouquet up for her and at the same time cringed at his own awkwardness. Of course she could see that. He didn't need to point it out to her like an idiot. He kept running through every possible scenario in his head a thousand times over, each one ending in her throwing the flowers back in his face and demanding he leave there at once. It seemed the most logical outcome, but to his utter surprise and relief that didn't end up happening. His heart skipped when the light of Yor's somber smile beamed in his direction. She leaned over and scooped them up in her arms.

"Thank you," she hummed into them. Yor didn't look at him. If anything, she hid behind the bouquet.

That was alright with Loid. He was just happy she would still talk to him. "...I came because I wanted to apologize for...everything."

Yor remained quiet. He waited another second before continuing, "I'm sorry for the things I said. I'm sorry for getting so angry, and...I'm sorry for not coming sooner."

There was more he could have said, _should_ have, but those were the only words that would come to him at the moment. That, and he feared that saying anything more would make her upset. Loid didn't want to stir up shared memories of that terrible night. He supposed it was unavoidable given the situation, but even then he wanted to forget it all. Pretend like it never happened. Make up. Move on. Return home with Yor, and continue acting like the perfect family with her. It was all he wanted. It was so simple, and yet it wasn't.

Loid's shaky confidence slowly cracked the longer he was met with silence. He waited for Yor to say something, anything, but soon found himself retreating from her with each passing second. He even took a step back, thinking maybe for a moment that he was too presumptuous to assume he should be this close to her after everything that had happened. He was only a foot away from her. They weren't even lovers, and yet here he was pretending for a moment that he had the right to insert himself into her space like this. She probably loathed his very presence-

"-I'm sorry, too..." Yor's voice called out from behind the bouquet, silencing Loid's thoughts instantly. "...I'm sorry for getting so upset, and I'm sorry for leaving you and Anya."

Her words were strained. Loid knew immediately that she was on the verge of tears, and his heart sank. "You had every right to be upset! You don't need to apologize!"

"I'm supposed to be your wife! Anya's _mom!"_ Yor peeked out from behind the flowers as water started to pool in her eyes. "I should've stayed!"

Loid hesitated. He thought about the words Dominic had said to him. "...Sometimes, couples just need a break from each other. Whether they're married or not."

"But I'm _happy_ with you, Loid-!" Yor blurted out. Loid's eyes shot wide open. She, likewise, caught herself, "-with our whole arrangement! I just got so mad, and...!"

The flowers fell to reveal Yor's entire face. She stared at her husband, flustered, as the weight of two days worth of pain all rushed out at once. If only Loid had known just how tore up she felt the moment she walked out the door; by the time her feet touched the street, Yor already regretted leaving. There was no way she could go back, though. Not then. Even looking upon him now, she still wasn't sure if she could. Yor briefly forgot about the bouquet, and only realized they were still there when a couple stray tears tell onto the collection of lilies and roses in her arms.

Yor stared down at them. Soft colors and sweet smells offered much needed comfort, along with Loid's heartfelt staring. Every regret and twisted emotion that had plagued her the past two days started to ooze out slowly, only to slowly drift away into the last rays of evening dusklight. It wasn't all suddenly fixed, but at least Loid could scrounge together the last remnants of his confidence. He stepped forward once more, again bringing himself closer to his wife. Yor looked up at him and held the flowers close to her chest, her eyes fixed on Loid's.

"I'm happy with our...arrangement, too," her husband smiled. He reached out to grasp Yor's arm.

"...Really?" She surrendered to his touch. Her eyes finally softened, and Loid breathed a little easier at the sight of it.

"Of course," he reassured her. His voice suddenly sounded like it normally did, and it was at that point Yor broke. "I couldn't ask for a better wife."

Her breath hitched. She wanted to cry, but tears didn't seem appropriate anymore. She'd shed enough of them the past two days, and Yor was done wiping them from her face. She gave a rosy smile instead, and Yor wore it for Loid just as much she did for herself. If he could put on a brave face for her, then she could do the same for him. It got easier to maintain the more she noticed flecks of red in her husband's cheeks, the only real sign he ever gave that he was blushing. The sight of it was enough to put her at ease almost completely. She missed his face.

"...Please come back," Loid asked tightly. He continued to smile, but his face twisted with uncertainty. "Anya misses you."

"Oh, poor Anya!" Yor's face contorted, same as her husband's. "I've been away from her for so long! She must be so upset with me!"

"Franky's watching her right now...she's probably still up," Loid replied absently. He didn't want to make Yor more upset, but failed in that regard.

"At this hour?!" Yor cupped her cheek with her hand. She vaguely knew the time when Loid came knocking, and it was already late. "She's got school in the morning!"

"Yeah, you're right," Loid pulled away from Yor. He stared at his wife, her frazzled face somehow making him feel more at ease. "We should go home and put our daughter to bed."

Loid held a hand out. He waited with bated breath for another pair of fingers to curl into his. Yor's eyes crossed with his own, and he found that comforting gaze he'd come to know after spending so much time together. He was both happy and relieved to see it again. His tired face softened when Yor quickly gave him her hand. She hesitated for a moment before flashing Loid a smile, and for a moment they just stood there. Hand-in-hand. Husband and wife. Not really, but at the same time...what did it matter?

Yor continued to stare. Admittedly, she must have zoned out for a minute because a wave of realization hit her hard. She suddenly pinked. "Oh! Camilla and Dominic!"

Loid blinked. Suddenly, it hit him too; they couldn't just outright _leave_ without saying anything to their hosts. "Right. Let's take care of things here, then head back together."

He had to tack on that last part. _Together._ As if it wasn't obvious that they'd be leaving as a (fake) couple, but a part of him needed to stress it for peace of mind. With that one word, Yor's nod of agreement meant all the more. Her smile had a bit more meaning behind it, and that tug on his arm as she pulled him up the steps back into Camilla's house was enough to finally put his heart and mind at ease. There'd be a long conversation waiting for them with Camilla and Dominic, but that was at the bottom of his list of cares at the moment. All that mattered to Loid was that Yor was coming home. Anya would probably leap across the living room and tackle her the moment she walked through the front door. Honestly, he couldn't even blame her.

Operation Strix was now back on schedule.

Even knowing that, though, Loid was just happy the Forgers had their mama back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've learned that when it comes to fighting with someone you love, nine times out of ten what you're arguing about probably isn't very important in the grand scheme of things. That's why I left it vague as to what exactly started this whole mess, since all that should really matter is both parties work towards a happy ending. (Also let it be known that I don't think Loid would ever lose his temper with Yor, but if he DID then this is how it would go down lol).


	8. Missions 091, 092, and 093: Shades of Red When We Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Anya Forger**
> 
> **Objective(s): reminisce**
> 
> **Reporting Status: successful**

* * *

_**Crimson** _

* * *

Yor Forger was, objectively speaking, very pretty.

That really shouldn't have been a controversial statement, though anything her coworkers talked about ended up being treated as such. Loid knew full well just how...difficult those women could be, especially with Yor, so it really wasn't surprising to learn that they constantly gave her a hard time about a whole number of things, one of which being her looks. He always assumed their ribbing was rooted in jealousy, however; true she'd never been with a man before, though it certainly wasn't because of her looks. She was also a snappy dresser on top of that, which Loid gradually came to realize as both her and Anya's wardrobe slowly started to become more varied as the days and weeks went by. He supposed that was her area of expertise, aside from keeping their home spotlessly clean.

Loid glanced up from his newspaper. The sound of running water and plates clanging against each other echoed throughout the kitchen as Yor did the dishes. He watched her for a time through that window above the sink; the sound of her humming somehow rose above the chorus of dinner cleanup, made all the louder by that bright smile she had on for whatever reason. Always that smile, though for the life of him Loid didn't know why she looked so happy all the time. Maybe it was just to keep this charade of a marriage from running stagnant? Or perhaps it was just to help pass the time while she pretended to be the ideal wife and mother, just as he attempted do the same as husband and father?

Whatever the reason, he'd have been lying if he said he wasn't fond of it.

He much preferred her when she smiled, though the same could be said for almost anyone. Still, a smiling Yor was _significantly_ more enjoyable than a non-smiling one. Having lived together this long, Loid had become accustomed to seeing that face at the end of a long day. Whenever she arrived from work or running errands, she'd greet him and Anya bright and cheerful as always. Anytime that _wasn't_ the case, however, meant something was wrong, and it was during such times that he made it his main priority to put that smile back on her face. For the good of Operation Strix.

The fate of east/west relations, all boiled down to one woman's smile.

That wasn't an exaggeration, either. The stability of his family was always a top concern. It's why he caved so much whenever Anya got upset, or went out of his way to make sure that Yor was always in a good mood. Should anything happen, should, at any point, the two of them decide not to be part of the Forgers anymore, total war could break out as a result. Loid supposed there was very little to worry about in regards to Anya, but his relationship with Yor was far more delicate and tricky; she could leave him at any point, for any reason.

They had no _real_ commitment to each other, aside from their mutual use of one another for personal reasons. His duty was to Operation Strix, and she simply used him as cover to escape being targeted by the SSS. Though, Loid supposed that, at this point, they _were_ stuck with one another; it would be difficult to find another wife, and the same could be said for Yor finding a new husband. Plus, despite the loose definition of the term, they _were_ legally married to one another. Again, it was all just a ruse at the end of the day, but...

Loid continued to stare. Normally he was very good about not drawing attention to himself; he _was_ a spy after all. This evening though, the malaise of dinner must have gotten to him. Either that, or he really didn't care to hide his tracks all that much. There were no stakes on the table, and even then Loid doubted he could hide his gaze from Yor when she looked up. Somehow he had chosen the one woman in Ostania who could unnerve him as his wife. Yor could sneak past him, catch him off guard, and just make him wary in general. No enemy agent alive had ever been able to do any one of those things to him before, and yet here this random lady was who could do _all of that_ and more.

"Hm?" The water continued to run as Yor blinked under Loid's gaze. A sprinkle of confusion dusted her face as she continued to smile. "Loid? What are you staring at?"

"Ah, nothing!" he smirked. Loid leaned back in his chair and glanced at his paper before looking back up again. "I was just remembering when we first met."

A lie. Sort of. He'd much rather say _that_ than saying he was weighing how pretty she was. Yor pinked. "Oh, really? What's this all of a sudden?"

"Just reminiscing, I suppose," Loid deflected. He looked back down at his paper in silence, thinking that would be the end of it.

He could've said something else. He could've just said that there was soap on her face or something and not draw unwanted attention to himself. The thing was, though, he wasn't a cad; Loid was hyper-aware of what his mission entailed. He needed to be a family man, the _best_ family man. Regardless of whether or not his family was real, it still didn't change the fact that husbands made their wives happy. Why that particular memory, the one of them meeting in the tailor shop, made _her_ smile was irrelevant. All that mattered was that it was there.

For Operation Strix.

Loid turned the page and pretended to read.

He'd have _actually_ been reading, except the lingering burn of Yor's crimson eyes made focusing difficult. Just like the day they'd met, only now the circumstances were much different. Loid pretended not to notice as the dishes became quiet, leaving nothing but loud silence behind. He was vaguely aware of Anya in her room from down the hall, though she was studying (for once) and made not a peep. The only sound in the apartment came from Loid as he turned the page yet again. He raised the flick of paper to partially cover his face, if only to hide the amused smirk that inched slowly across it.

"...Loid?" Yor called out to him. He glanced at her from the top of his newspaper.

"Yes?" Loid answered back. He already knew vaguely what she was going to say. His smirk grew.

"Um," her lips squiggled as they sometimes did when she was frazzled. "Back then, you...said that I was pretty?"

"Mhm," he nodded. Face still obstructed by the paper, Loid retreated further behind it. At this point, it was almost like a game.

"I know you were just looking for someone to be Anya's pretend mom, but..." there was a pause, before she added shakily, "...did you mean it?"

A smirk turned into a smile. Air escaped Loid's nose in a quiet chuckle to himself before he lifted his face up to look at his wife. "Of course I did. I think you're very pretty, Yor."

Technically he was lying again, at least in the sense that, originally, him calling her pretty was just to cover his tracks. He wasn't at all lying about how she looked though, and, judging from the way her face burnt up, Yor could sense that he was telling the truth in that regard. Loid watched his wife bow her head to hide the blush from her face, though there was no obstructing the smile that tugged at her lips. Yor said nothing as she went back to doing the dishes, and neither did Loid as he pulled his gaze from her to scan the paper in his hands once more. Neither of their expressions changed, however; even as they went about their business, Yor and Loid continued to hide curled lips from one another. To mention it would ruin the pleasant silence. Instead, they'd savor it in peace.

All for the good of Operation Strix.

* * *

**_Blood_ **

* * *

Being a spy meant being able to react appropriately to any situation at any time. In Loid's line of work, that meant making things up as you go and having enough wherewithal to ensure the guaranteed success of the mission regardless of circumstances. It was a reality of his job that he handled in stride, usually, though nobody was perfect. There were times when, looking back on it, things could have gone smoother. So long as the mission was completely successfully though, it hardly ever mattered. Sometimes even, the bumpiest roads end up being the better ones to take.

Perhaps that's why Loid wasn't all too concerned at the moment, at least not excessively so. As he stood there in front of the bathroom mirror, facing his wife so she could get a better look at the cut on the side of his head, Loid tried his best to let the entire situation roll off his shoulders. A WISE mandated mission had forced him to bust another smuggling operation (this time firearms being shipped across the Westalis/Ostania border) and it, for the most part, had gone through without a hitch. That is of course until Loid made it home and Yor pointed out the streak of blood that trickled from his temple. Mild annoyance at himself for walking in like that aside, Loid was just thankful that it hadn't been made into _too_ big a deal.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Yor soothed, dabbing the cut with a wet cloth. She turned his head a little to get a better look at it.

"No," he replied simply. Loid tried his best to be the silent patient, but even he couldn't help from giving her the stereotypical, "I'm fine, Yor."

"He got you pretty good," she muttered back while inspecting him. He ducked his head lower to give her a better angle. "You should seriously consider using restraints."

"My job is to make my patients feel more comfortable, not tie them up," Loid explained. A true statement, though not at all representative of how he _actually_ got the cut.

Yor frowned. She released her hold on his head and shook her own. "...I know you can take care of yourself, but I don't like how much abuse you take for your patient's sake."

Loid smirked a little. "Honestly, it's not always like this. Most of my patients are really easy to handle. It's only a few of them that give me trouble like this."

By _patients,_ he of course meant _missions._ Loid had gotten sloppy today and tried to wrap things up quickly in order to come back home for their family outing. It had hardly been difficult dealing with such untrained criminals, though clearly one of them had gotten lucky and nicked him good during his escape. It didn't hurt and he'd seen _far more_ blood from other injuries in the past, but good luck trying to explain all that to Yor. The moment she caught sight of him, she dragged him into the bathroom to clean him up.

Loid sighed. Yor did as well, but for different reasons. She continued to hold a wet cloth to her husband's head while he stood there patiently. The longer they remained here and fussed over his wound, the less time they had for critical family bonding time. If they slacked on that, it wouldn't bode well for Operation Strix. They needed to maintain appearances, otherwise people would talk.

"Mama!" Anya's voiced called out from the hallway. It got louder as she came closer. "I brought the big white bottle like you asked!"

Loid's face became flat as his daughter walked in, carrying what he recognized to be a bottle of rubbing alcohol. "Yor, please! There's no need for that!"

"Thank you, Anya," Yor smiled, completely ignoring Loid. He rolled his eyes as she started to dab the liquid onto another dry cloth she had. "Hold still, Loid!"

He sighed once more, but voiced no further protest. There was no point in it, anyway. Yor wouldn't listen to him, and she was determined to make sure his cut was treated before they left. A cool burn singed his temple, and his eye closest to it winced. Yor apologized immediately when she noticed him flinch, though he continued to remain silent. She pressed down firmly and held it there for a while.

Loid didn't understand what all the fuss was about, really. He thought back to Camilla's dinner party. Back then he'd walked into the room gushing far more blood than he was now, and at the time Yor was only mildly concerned. She offered him a handkerchief, of course, but didn't paint it to be a big deal like she was currently doing with his tiny cut. He stared at her and didn't really try to hide it. She was right in front of him, and admittedly he kind of wanted her to see just how done he was with the whole situation.

"I realize you're a doctor and you probably know more about treating wounds than I do," Yor admitted as she continued to press the cloth against Loid's head.

His apathetic stare eased somewhat, if only to be polite. "Well, I'm a _psychiatrist._ I don't really treat wounds but...I would say there's not much to worry about with this cut."

"I know," Yor said with a tiny smile. "It's just that I want to help you in anyway I can. You do so much, and then you come home hurt. I just...want to be useful to you."

Loid blinked. Yor's comment caught him off guard. He stared down at her for a moment, then shook his head. "You're not some tool, Yor. You're my wife. That will always be enough for me."

Rosy cheeks. The telltale sign of an embarrassed Yor, though Loid found himself a bit warm in the face as well. Really it was the sight of her that made him react in such a way, though he supposed it was his fault for getting flustered in the first place. Regardless of the why, Yor failed to release him. Not yet. She absently continued to blot the bloody spot on the side of his head, only this time Loid rescinded any objections. He became her compliant patient, and neither Forger noticed their daughter as she stood in the doorway and watched her parents with vetted interest. She grinned knowingly at them before turning to walk away, leaving mama there by herself to work on papa's boo-boos.

* * *

**_Salmon_ **

* * *

It wasn't often the three of them went out to eat. Usually, Loid was fine with cooking dinner most of the time and rarely saw the need to do so. Even then, it was sometimes unavoidable; every once in a while he was just too tired to make something, or Yor's creation would implode on itself (with no one brave enough to try it), or, in the case now, Anya just _really_ wanted that one plate with the crushed peanuts on top from her favorite restaurant. Apparently papa's wouldn't do, and he really didn't care to argue with her. The less work he had to do at the end of the day, the better.

It was the middle of the evening rush. People were coming in after long days of work, either too tired to cook at home or likely in the same position Loid found himself in, which was picky children. The Forgers were lucky enough to get a table before the chaos struck though, and it wasn't long before the food came out to them. Anya's favorite dish was placed in front of her under explicit instructions to _not touch_ under any circumstance because it was hot. Loid's steak and Yor's fish came soon after, and the three of them promptly dug in.

They didn't have a lot of time to talk before it happened; a few exchanges about how their days went, if anything interesting happened, etc, before a small commotion came from the other end of the dining room. Everyone's eyes shot towards that direction and they were greeted with the sight of a young lad on his knee. His sweetheart stood in front of him, hands covering her agape mouth as she stared down at the ring he offered in his hands. A tiny rock topped it off, and it glimmered underneath the light of the chandelier above him.

 _Will you marry me?_ All in attendance knew the words before he spoke them, though still acted shocked all the same. Yor was among them, and she imitated the bride-to-be; mouth over her face, breathless, as the inevitable _Yes_ quickly followed. The room erupted in applause from every corner, save the Forger's table. Yor was smiling, but still too caught off guard to do anything else. Anya stared with great interest and eyed every last detail in silence. Meanwhile, Loid kept to himself through it all, sparing the scene one last glance before cutting into his steak with dulled vigor.

Yor turned around to look at Loid. She expected him to be smiling, too, but hers disappeared when she found that wasn't at all the case. He seemed focused on his food and nothing else, and she tilted her head in confusion. Meanwhile, Anya reached over and poked her papa's hand. Loid looked over at his daughter and found her staring intently at him, already knowing that look on her face.

She had _questions._ "Was that a pro-puzzle?"

"A proposal? Yes," Loid corrected. He lifted a chunk of meat into his mouth.

"That's what people do when they wanna get married, right?" Anya asked her papa, but ended up looking to mama when all he did was nod. She wanted conversation.

"Mhm," Yor smiled. "A proposal is supposed to be memorable, so the person doing it has to make sure to do a good job."

Anya nodded as she processed what her mama told her. "So did that man do a good job, mama?"

Yor thought about it for a moment. "Well, I would say so. Wouldn't you agree, Loid?"

She looked to her husband. He seemed to barely pay attention to their conversation, but offered her a nod in agreement. At that point, Yor frowned. She knew he was thinking about something, but couldn't tell specifically what. She didn't want to say anything though, and simply watched him as he continued to eat his dinner. That went on for a time, before she relented and looked at her own plate.

Loid was lost in his thoughts. For some reason, the display had reminded him of when he was first assigned to Operation Strix. Before that, he'd been assigned to retrieve the prime minister's photos from a man named Edgar and, in order to do so, had faked a relationship with his daughter for months. The night he'd cut himself from the mission, he and the girl, Karen, had seen a similar scene play out at the restaurant they ate at. She asked him then if he ever thought about marrying, and the idea was ludicrous to him at the time. It would never happen, so long as he lived.

Loid looked up.

There, sitting in front of him, was the family that would never happen.

Yor was staring at him again, and this time he noticed. Immediately, he switched back into perfect husband mode. He offered a pleasant smile, though quickly found it didn't serve him like it usually did. Yor still looked concerned, and Anya meanwhile stared at him with big, unblinking eyes. His daughter was the one who unnerved him the most; she gave him a look as if reading his mind or something, before eventually relenting and breaking her stare. Loid looked back down at his dinner, and suddenly didn't feel all that hungry anymore.

"...Mama?" he could hear Anya ask. "Did papa pro-pose to you?"

Loid paused. His eyes widened a bit, and they shot up to spy Yor from across the table. The question caught him completely unaware, and he could tell it did the same to her. She didn't see him though, and was instead focused on their daughter. Loid waited along with Anya, watching as Yor put a finger to her cheek. She looked to the ceiling and tried to recall how it'd happened.

"Yes, he did..." Yor trailed off as all the excitement of that night rushed through her head. "...It was very hectic, and there was a lot of running involved."

Dejected, Loid looked back down once more. Yes, that night didn't go at all how he had intended. The result ended up being what he'd set out to achieve, but that only ended being the case because it was convenient to Yor. That entire mission was a bust from the start, and the display was downright shameful for a spy of his caliber. To think him and Yor were actually _ran off the road..._

"...Oh! And there was an explosion, I think," Yor continued. "I wasn't really paying attention though, because...well, I was distracted..."

Anya's interest only grew. She stared at her mama intently, while secretly probing every moment of that night from her brain as she thought it. The scene played out like the ultimate action movie, and the young Forger practically shook with excitement watching it all play out. Her papa, meanwhile, only sunk lower in his chair. Yor wasn't paying attention? To just that part, or the _whole thing_? A grenade went off by their ears! Was it really all so terrible that she had to block it all out, or did she just not care at all in the first place? Did he really fail that badly...?

Anya glanced at her papa, again without his knowing. She lingered on him for a second, before turning back to mama. "Do you think papa did a good job?"

Loid looked up just in time to catch Yor's smile. "I think Loid did a _very_ good job. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life, and I'll never forget it."

Yor looked to her husband, finally giving him the chance to look her in the eyes. Light pink dusted her cheeks, and it took everything Loid had to keep the same from happening to his own. He froze under her gaze, and admittedly went a little slack jawed from her response. The rest of the dining room disappeared for a moment as it just became the two of them; that included their daughter who, still playing the silent observer, watched her parents earnestly. She let out a smile as one spread across her papa's face, too.

"Actually Yor, now that I think about it... _you_ were the one who proposed," Loid recalled suddenly. "I just said the vows."

"Oh!" Yor erupted in blush. How could she have forgotten that part already? "Y-you're right...I suppose I did! My mistake!"

Loid's smile got bigger. Meanwhile, Anya's mouth dropped. "Mama pro-puzzled?!"

"Mhm," Loid nodded. He looked to Yor and found her covering both cheeks with her hands in a vain attempt to hide her embarrassment.

"So did _mama_ do a good job, then?" Anya swiveled around. This time she asked it like an interrogator bleeding an informant dry; she _had_ to know the answer.

"Yes, she knocked me right off my feet." Literally. He vividly remembered face-planting into pavement when she asked him mid-escape.

Husband and wife looked to each other. The latter practically had steam rolling off of her face, which at that point had turned the same color as her salmon. Loid meanwhile continued to smile at his wife for a time, though eventually relented in order to give her the chance to breath. He took up his silverware once more and spared Yor from further attention; she likewise hid her face from the rest of the family and said nothing more on the matter, though Anya could clearly make out a little smile that peeked out from behind mama's hair.

She ended up having to take the rest of her food home. Her appetite kind of disappeared after that.

Even so, all three ended up leaving the restaurant with the exact same thought on their minds; maybe the Forgers should eat out together more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I double checked and salmon is technically a tint of red, not a shade. But...I don't care lol


	9. Mission 100: [Part I]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I was originally planning to do something special for mission 100, and as luck would have it I ended up having an impromptu collaboration on tumblr with @nonokoko13, @sxfobsessed, and @nagy-bari. Couldn't have put this together without them. With that said, the prompt got away from me and...it ended up turning into a 12k monster lol. The only reason I'm putting it here and not as a separate story is because koko told me to put more side characters into stories, SO HERE YOU GO, HERE'S (almost) ALL OF THEM!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor-Briar Forger, Anya Forger, Bond, Franky, Yuri Briar, Becky Blackbell, Camilla, Dominic, Millie, Sharon**  
>  **Mission Objective(s): host a dinner party for friends and acquaintances, [INCOMPLETE]**  
>  **Reporting Status: [IN-PROGRESS]**  
>  **ADDENDUM 1 [NIGHTFALL]:**  
>  _After careful review of last night's mission report, it has come to my attention that Twilight's conduct has been highly inappropriate for that of a WISE agent. I recommend personnel changes be made for the ensured success of Operation Strix._  
>  **ADDENDUM 2 [TWILIGHT]** : _Sorry, I forgot to save you leftovers._  
>  **ADDENDUM 3 [NIGHTFALL]:** _That's not what I meant, and you know it._  
>  **ADDENDUM 4 [HANDLER]:** _He's married. Also, thank you for the leftovers, they were delicious._

**Cabernet Makes Her Clothes Fall Off**

* * *

A cacophony of sounds emanated from the Forger house as Yor frantically tried to get things ready for what was sure to be a total disaster.

In just a few hours, guests would be arriving for an impromptu dinner party that she had _no right_ organizing in the first place. It wasn't her call to make, not without consulting her husband first, but...she went and opened her big mouth anyway. Now she was suffering the consequences for it, and not just her, either. Yor looked up through the window above the kitchen sink as she desperately went about getting things ready for the evening's festivities. Loid and Anya stood by the door as they started to put their coats on. The latter had her school backpack on, though in lieu of books and pencils it was instead filled with a change of clothes and some toys.

"I'll be back soon to help set up," Loid called out to her. He went to gather his hat and gloves. "I already called the Blackbells' nanny and told them I can't stay long."

"Ok," Yor replied meekly. Half of her wanted to tell him not to rush. The other half desperately wished to ask the opposite of him. "Please be careful you two."

"Bye mama!" Anya looked over at Yor as Bond came up to sniff her goodbye. "Have fun with your party tonight!"

The Forger matriarch couldn't help but to frown. "You do the same at your friend Becky's...do everything her parents tell you, okay?"

"I will!" Anya replied back. She smiled brightly in anticipation at her upcoming sleepover, though it waned the longer she stared up at her mama.

Yor had no way of knowing her daughter was reading her mind. If she did, it wouldn't have made her feel as guilty when Anya suddenly ran around the corner and wrapped her arms around her leg in a tight embrace. That wasn't to say she didn't appreciate the gesture; if anything she desperately needed it at the moment. It's just that she assumed Anya's hug was less out of fondness and more out of pity, though in the end she accepted it all the same. Yor knelt down and pulled Anya in close as Loid waited by the door with a well-hidden smirk on his face.

"Love you," Anya smiled encouragingly, eyes closed in content.

"I love you, too," Yor teared up a little. She squeezed her daughter tight. "I'll see you tomorrow."

They held each other for a moment. Though she didn't want it to end, Yor ended up being the first to let go. She smiled at Anya before the little girl waved and skipped off towards the door. Already turning the knob to leave, Loid let their daughter out first before turning to his wife. He said nothing, but gave a small, comforting smile to her before exiting. She nodded as a silent thanks before watching him leave, and it soon became just her and Bond. The Forger hound sat there with his tail wagging, and he looked up at Yor with an expectant look on his face.

Yor glanced down at the dog and sighed. "Well, Bond...time to get back to work."

Bond said nothing back, as was to be expected.

* * *

/*\

* * *

"You're joking, right? Not even a housewarming party?"

A familiar face; the deadpan look of an unimpressed Camilla, though to Yor she seemed just as pleasant as ever. If only the poor girl knew what every other woman working at city hall knew, which was that Camilla loathed her with a(n admittedly waning) passion. No one had the heart to say anything though, which was mostly why they stayed silent as Yor revealed to them that she and Loid had never had a get-together at their house before. Individual people, of course, but never more than one person at a time.

"Er, well...no?" Yor's lips squiggled. Was that a bad thing?

"Really, Yor, you're hopeless!" Camilla shook her head, exasperated. "Don't you and your husband have any friends?"

Yor blinked. "Well, of course we do. You, for starters."

Camilla's jaw dropped as the other women snickered behind her. Yor continued. "And I suppose that includes Dominic, as well? Also Loid's friend Franky, and his co-worker Fiona, and-"

"-Alright, alright, I get it!" the blonde woman grumbled, waving Yor off. "Fine, you have friends. So why then haven't you hosted before?"

Yor frowned a little. She knew why; it was because Loid was always tired and she was terrible in the kitchen. If there was going to be party then _he_ would have to do the cooking, and Yor didn't have the heart to ask that of him. Not when he had so much on his plate already (pun unintended). Still, Yor could see where Camilla was coming from. She had been nice enough to invite her over to a get-together at her house, while Loid and herself had never shown the same courtesy back. It was rude, and not to mention _suspicious._

Couples invited people over for dinner, right? So then, what would people think if she and Loid never did?

The more Yor thought about it, the more she realized her attempts at playing house were falling short again. Yor looked up at Camilla, Millie, and Sharon, and all of a sudden she felt self-conscious. They seemed to be waiting for an answer that Yor couldn't give them, or at the very least one she refused to share; that her marriage was a sham and she didn't know the first thing about entertaining guests. It was the truth, but they weren't meant to know that. All Yor could do was think about what her husband would do in her situation. What would Loid's response be?

He'd make it happen. One way or another, he'd pull through like he always did.

"W-well," Yor stammered. She flinched a little. "Why don't you all come over this Saturday?"

The other women paused, most of all Camilla. The three of them threw glances at one another, suddenly finding the spotlight reversed on them. They seemed to have a wordless conversation amongst themselves, while at the same time Yor kicked herself for opening the door to her home like that without talking to Loid first. He liked his privacy just as much as she did, and the weekend was one of the few times he got to relax (and even then it wasn't guaranteed). Yor's head started to slowly spiral; what if he got called into work, or she suddenly had to take a contract-killing job on short notice? This was a _bad_ idea. She had to rescind her offer, and fast-!

"-Do you want us to bring anything...?" Camilla asked reluctantly. It almost looked like it pained her to say it out loud, mostly because it did.

Yor froze. The worst case scenario had come to pass, even more so because she had brought it upon herself. She stood there as three pairs of eyes stared at her once more, only there was no going back this time. The window of opportunity for backing out had already passed, and the only thing Yor could do was try her best to swallow the quickly growing lump in her throat.

"...N-no," Yor shook her head. She gulped. "...My husband and I will cook something for dinner..."

* * *

/*\

* * *

"I'm a horrible wife," Yor lamented as she straightened out her white polka dot dress. "I never should have agreed to this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine, Yor," Loid eased. He closed the oven door and threw his mitt onto the stove top. He turned towards her. "There's no reason to beat yourself up."

Yor frowned. Loid sighed. They both looked to the clock on the wall next to them and immediately came to the same conclusion; their guests were fashionably late. A quarter past six and no one had shown up yet, but that ended up being more of blessing than anything else. Loid had gotten held up at the Blackbells' a little longer than expected, and Yor had only just barely finished cleaning by the time he made it home. She at least had it to where all he needed to do was fix up the casserole for later; the rest of their home, from the living room to the bathroom, was immaculately spotless.

"So remind me again who all is coming?" Loid asked uncomfortably as he looked back to the kitchen. He was fairly certain there was enough food, but...

"Well..." Yor thought for a moment. "The girls, so, Camilla, Millie, and Sharon. Dominic as well, and he of course told my brother so Yuri's coming, too. And also Fiona-?"

Loid shook his head. "She won't be coming. Something came up at work and she won't be able to make it."

Some hostage situation at the embassy, last he heard. Nothing Nightfall couldn't handle, though it'd certainly take her the whole night to sort through it all. Tragedy aside, it at least worked in favor of Loid's dinner planning. Along with some easy-to-make finger foods, there would be more than enough to keep everyone satisfied. On top of that, they'd rearranged the furniture in the living room to open it up a bit more. They had also moved the dining room table up against the wall, and Loid even got a hold of a couple breakfast nook chairs (courtesy of WISE) for the counter at the kitchen window.

This little shindig of theirs was turning into quite the gathering. Loid smiled a bit at the thought, even as Yor continued to look up at him in dismay. He had half a mind to reassure her some more, but knew it would only fall on deaf ears. Instead, he took it upon himself to leave her for a moment to go digging in the pantry. He fished out one of the cheap bottles of wine they'd gotten for the evening's festivities. Yor immediately held her hand up to protest, though karma had come full circle to spite her. She didn't listen to Loid. Therefore, neither would he listen to her.

A moment later and he arrived with a glass in his hand, filled halfway with blood-red courage. "Everything will be fine."

"I know..." Yor replied weakly as she took the wine glass from her husband. "...I just feel guilty for dragging you along with all this."

"Hey, we're a team," Loid reassured her. He smiled again, and Yor's face became flushed. "You just focus on enjoying yourself, and I promise it'll all work out."

For what felt like the first time that night, Yor gave a smile back. A small one, of course, since she still had a million things running through her head, but at the very least she gave Loid the response he was looking for. Yor closed her eyes and took a sip and, as if her husband had been right all along, there came a knock at the door immediately after. Yor paused; she quickly tried to swallow her wine in order to answer it properly, though Loid was already opening the door by the time she had composed herself.

They both figured it must have been Yuri (since he was usually quite punctual), but Loid's face fell flat as someone else came into view. "I hope I'm not late!"

Shaggy hair. Scraggly chin. A stature half that of Loid's; the man glowered. "Franky, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm here for the party, of course!" Franky gave a stupid grin as he held up another bottle of wine. "I didn't get the invitation, but I figured you must've forgot!"

"...Right, of course," Loid's eyes narrowed. He continued to glare while Franky grinned. "Must have slipped my mind..."

Stiffly, Loid stepped back to allow his friend entry. He looked to Yor as Franky shuffled in, and he shuddered to think what an unaccounted for guest would mean for her party. Surprisingly, his wife seemed pleased at Franky's presence. She set her glass down and gave him a proper greeting, to which Franky did the same. He placed the bottle of wine on the counter after shedding his coat, and immediately made a b-line for the bathroom. The door shut behind him as he made his pit stop, leaving both Forgers alone again for a moment.

"I'm glad Franky could make it!" Yor smiled.

"Likewise," Loid added flatly. He shook his head in dismay.

"Next time I'll be sure to remind you to invite him," she added while grabbing his arm.

Loid relented with a smile to his wife, though the inside of his head was working overtime trying to sort through possible scenarios for the evening. It's not entirely that he didn't want Franky there (part of him truly didn't), but the less he mixed up Twilight's affairs with Loid Forger's the better. Not even taking into account just what a _bad_ idea inviting an SSS agent into his home was, having Franky and Fiona there would have thrown a whole headache of problems into the equation. Nightfall could have handled herself well enough, but Franky...

He prayed to whatever god above that the little fool could behave himself. Just for one night.

All Loid could do was have a little faith, though that wasn't really his M.O. He'd try not to worry in the meantime, but would continue to keep an eye on Franky for the rest of the night. He eased up on the guy once he emerged out the bathroom and approached him and Yor for pleasant conversation; his initial terseness passed, and the three of them actually got on well enough for a time. For how long, specifically, Loid couldn't say. Before any of them knew it, there came another knock at the door. This time Yor was the one to answer.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Yor!" an impassioned voice cut through their home, and Loid knew right away it was Yuri. "I got held up at work and missed my train!"

"That's okay, Yuri, so is everyone else!" Yor smiled, and Loid did, too. She was letting the guest situation roll of her shoulders, which was good.

There was a shuffle at the door as both Briars came inside. Yor took her brother's hat and coat, and he smiled pleasantly at her in silent thanks. The moment his head swiveled in Loid's direction, however, that pleasantness quickly took a nosedive. Yor was none the wiser, of course, though Loid was more than aware of his brother-in-law's killer vibe. He smiled.

"It's good to see you again, Yuri!" Loid chimed politely. His smile grew as Yuri's turned even more.

"Loi-Loi," Yuri bowed his head stiffly in acknowledgement. Beside him, Franky cracked up at his friend's stupid nickname.

Yuri's eyes fixed on Loid and Yor's other guest. Likewise, Franky looked to Yuri. This was the first time either had met each other properly, though Franky was more than familiar with Yor's brother and his position as an SSS agent. Admittedly, it was a bit unnerving for Franky to be in his presence, especially with that... _weird_ look he stared at him with. Loid had warned him about it multiple times; the dude was nuts about his sister. Him being friends with Loid probably didn't lend him any favors, so his opinion of him probably was at rock bottom at the moment.

Nowhere to go but up from there, right? "Hiya! The name's Franky, nice to meet you!"

Franky held his hand out to shake. Yuri glanced at it before looking back up. He offered no hand of his own.

"Yuri! Don't be rude!" Yor chastised her brother from behind. He cringed and glanced at her over his shoulder. "Franky's my friend, too!"

The Briar boy turned back around to find two smug smiles waiting for him; an obvious one from Franky, and a thinly-veiled one from Loid. Whether he noticed them or not, Yuri made no comment. He simply shook Franky's hand (reluctantly) and offered a halfhearted _hello_ in reply. The two promptly separated and went their separate ways. Franky followed Loid into the kitchen while Yor stayed behind to talk more with her brother, and both groups kept up conversation for a time until another knock came at the door.

Camilla and Dominic. The pair entered, both carrying offerings for the party; a tray of enticing appetizers and another bottle of wine, respectively. The couple were met with multiple greetings and they offered their own before splitting up almost immediately. Loid showed Camilla into the kitchen while Dominic stayed behind to talk with Yuri. Franky joined everyone else in the living room, seeing as how there wasn't a lot of room in that tiny kitchen for three people. Besides, Loid didn't trust him in there, which was fair.

"Thank you for the food, but you really didn't have to go through all the trouble," Loid told Camilla as he dug into the cabinet for plates.

"Well, Dominic insisted we bring something, and it's a recipe I've been meaning to try out for a while now." She stood off to the side to stay out of his way.

"It smells great, can't wait to try it," Loid smiled pleasantly. A moment later and he procured the dinnerware. Camilla offered to take them into the living room for him.

Loid handed the plates off to her. Camilla turned to walk away, but paused as Loid spun around to gather his own appetizers. She shifted uncomfortably as she scanned him up and down; a nice dress shirt, perfectly sleeked hair, _muscles_ , and an air of confidence that most men spent their whole lives pretending to have. Loid Forger had it all, and Camilla couldn't fathom just how in the _hell_ Yor ever bagged such a hot husband in the first place. Seriously, _how?_ It was downright _frustrating_ just how perfect he seemed; the man could cook, raise a daughter, deal with Yor, and still seem nonchalant about everything. If she didn't know any better, Camilla would have said his and Yor's marriage was some kind of front for the mob or something. There was just no way...

"...Babe, you alright?" Dominic's head suddenly popped into the kitchen. "You're spacing."

Camilla jumped out of her skin and nearly dropped the tin, in no small part because she was caught red-handed thinking about Yor's husband. Luckily for her, Dominic didn't come to that conclusion. He smiled and waved her over and, after she shook herself out of it, Camilla followed him obediently towards the living room. The two of them dropped the food off on the dining room table on the way, which was joined by Loid's tin soon after. He stuck around to open some of the wine bottles, and Yor had half a mind to offer him help but ultimately decided against it. He was good at popping corks, and she would have honestly just gotten in the way.

Yuri, Camilla, and Dominic stood off to the side and chatted. Franky kept Yor company until Loid appeared a minute later, and the three of them sat gathered around the coffee table while they waited for the other guests to eventually arrive. So far, so good, Yor thought to herself as she scanned her apartment. Wine glass in hand, she let out a poorly hidden sigh of relief. At that point, Loid smirked. He must have been thinking the same thing she was, at least that's what Yor assumed. He leaned over the table to pat her shoulder comfortingly, and she flinched at his touch (out of habit) before quickly relaxing. Her husband was right; just enjoy the evening, and everything would work out fine.

She nodded to herself and took a sip of wine, and a small smile tugged at her lips soon after.

* * *

/*\

* * *

Millie and Sharon arrived stag together soon after. With Franky taking up the baton for Fiona, everyone Yor had invited ended up coming. Bond was promptly kenneled in Anya's room (with plenty of food, water, and a bone) and the party was in full swing. 

Loid started to drop off plates in front of people, and he couldn't help but be thankful that Handler had secretly requisitioned him the extra chairs. It was just enough for everyone to have a seat, though he distinctly remembered her shaking her head initially at his request. Not that she wouldn't do it, but more to do with the fact that he was _going native,_ as she had so eloquently put it. A dinner party for his wife's friends? The higher-ups would rip them both a new one if they got wind that Twilight was blowing agency funds again over something stupid.

Regardless, she wrote it off as a business expense for an upcoming mission.

Handler always was a sucker for parties.

Loid just needed to save her some leftovers, which was easy enough. A couple missing appetizers and a suspiciously absent square of casserole were tucked safely away in his fridge for his boss. The spy game could get weird sometimes, and vicarious party attendance was just one of those things that agents did to keep themselves entertained during missions. Usually that involved going out of their way to secretly acquire a bottle from the bar to bring back to a safe house or finding out a way to smuggle out a whole chunk of wedding cake without being seen by the bride and groom. It was a stupid inside joke amongst spies; that being said, Loid was no stranger to it. He fully expected the same from Handler the next time she attended a party for a mission.

"Thank you, Loid!" Yor beamed up at him as he pulled up the chair next to her. All the plates had been delivered, and he held the last one in his hands as he sat down.

"Yes, thanks for cooking. It looks great," Sharon added politely across from them. At her side, Millie echoed the sentiment while trying hard not to eat without everyone else.

Loid nodded and waved off their praise. Meanwhile, Yuri grumbled from his spot against the wall. He of course wasn't about to afford his brother-in-law any good will, though Franky next to him had more than enough for the two of them. He stared down at the food in front of him with big eyes and watering mouth; it was by far the best looking thing he'd seen in a long time. He wasn't necessarily the healthiest eater at home. Mostly his pantry was filled with noodles, cereal, and the occasional box of macaroni. This was a downright feast.

There was only one thing missing, and he almost forgot it before digging in. He hadn't eaten anything all day so he'd abstained up until then, but now was definitely the time for a tall glass of wine. He swung down from his chair and shuffled into the kitchen as the rest of the party cut into their food and carried on in conversation. Nobody paid him any mind, save for one man whose head immediately shot over when he noticed a familiar bob of scruffy hair struggle to uncork another wine bottle. Loid quickly excused himself with no one the wiser.

"No drinking," he stated firmly as he came up behind Franky and lifted the bottle from his hands. The latter spun around incredulously.

"Excuse me?" Franky guffawed. He held his arms out to the side to accentuate just how insulted he was.

"Do you remember what happened the last time you drank at my house?" Loid replied flatly. His voice was hushed. Their conversation needed to be quiet.

Franky considered for a moment. He genuinely gave it some thought before slowly shaking his head. "Er...no?"

Loid pinched the bridge of his nose. "You nearly blew my cover, plus you convinced me to spend thousands of dalc on a castle rental for Anya!"

"Hey, that was _your_ fault for listening to a drunk guy!" Franky shot back, which only caused Loid's eye to twitch in annoyance. "Also, what are you talking about?! Yor's drinking and she's way worse than I am!"

"I can handle my wife. I _can't_ handle both of you," Loid shook his head like a father reprimanding his child.

"She's your _fake_ wife!" Franky whispered back loudly. " _I'm_ your best friend! You're really just going to cut me off like this?"

Loid leaned over his so-called best friend. Their height difference was on full display, and Franky gulped. "This whole party was Yor's idea! It's important to her, and I'm going to make sure it goes off without a hitch. If that means keeping you dry for an evening, then so be it!"

Twilight made a brief reappearance; those cold eyes he was known for were suddenly aimed directly at Franky, and they got his point across loud and clear. With a reluctant nod, Franky agreed to skip the booze. Loid soon eased and nodded back before leaving to return to the other guests. That just left Franky alone by himself with an open wine bottle and a half-full glass on the counter in front of him. He grimaced at the thought of pouring it back into the bottle, a social faux pas if there ever was one. Dumping it certainly wasn't an option, either. Franky was never one to waste a good drink, regardless of the situation.

The newly-sober intelligence agent put his brain to work and came up with a quick solution; if Loid thought so lowly of him at the moment, why not prove him wrong? He was trying to score points with Yor (probably, he really didn't know why Twilight cared in the first place), so maybe if he helped make sure she had a good time then that might make him back off a little. Yeah, that's it! He'd pour the rest of the wine and treat her to a glass, then...well, he'd think of the rest later! His first priority was to make sure Yor was liquored up. Can't have a good party without _feeling good,_ of course!

It all made sense. At least, it did to Franky, anyway.

With a smug grin, he filled the remainder of the glass. The bottle glugged in his hand until there was nothing left, and he promptly disposed of it before carefully curling his fingers around the cabernet meant for Yor. He focused intently on the red liquid as he walked, staring down at it to make sure that none of it came splashing out. Franky narrowed his eyes and suffered full on tunnel vision; for all the years he and Twilight had known each other, also taking into account what a connoisseur the latter was, it was a downright shameful how little Franky knew about handling wine.

Anyone who had ever carried a glass before knew to look forward when they were walking, not down at their hand.

Nobody noticed him at first. He scooted into the open room and crept up while everyone was eating and talking. Yor had her back to the wall, and Loid's was towards him. All the better to surprise the Forgers with a kind gesture, Franky plotted. He let a sneer cut across his face as he arrived and cleared his throat, summoning his hosts' attention.

"Here you go, Yor!" Franky announced obnoxiously. All eyes turned towards him. He lifted his nose haughtily in the air. "I thought you might like a glass of wine-!"

-He suddenly stopped.

Not of his own volition, but because something had caught his foot and sent the rest of him reeling forward. Franky's eyes widened, and he looked down to find he'd tripped over one of Bond's stupid chew toys. He hadn't seen it before. It was too late to do anything about it. Already he was lurching towards Yor and Loid, and even if he caught himself from falling over there was no stopping the overflowing cup in his hands from spilling everywhere. Franky watched, captive, as cabernet rained over the one person Loid had done his damnedest to please that evening.

Yor sat helpless as her white polka dot dress suddenly splattered blood red. Warm liquid stained her and her clothes, and the rest of the party froze for a millisecond as what was happening still registered in their brains. Then, immediately after, Loid jumped up. Yuri and Dominic did so as well, while the women covered their mouths in disbelief. Yor stared down at herself in shock as her brother and husband clamored around her, though it was Dominic that ended up gathering all the available napkins to sop up whatever wine was left puddled around her.

Franky ultimately didn't fall. He caught himself at the last second, though he quickly wished he'd landed flat on his face and passed out from the trauma. At least then he could have been spared from Twilight's wrath; when Westalis' legendary agent quickly ascertained his wife was alright and promptly spun around, Franky could _feel_ his soul being pulled out from his body. And the worst part about all that was, Loid wasn't alone. For the first, terrifying time, both he and Yuri seemed on the same wavelength. The two pierced through him with blood lust in their eyes. An SSS and WISE agent both teaming up to gut him; hell had certainly frozen over, and Franky felt the chill down to his bone.

 _ **"...Franky!"** _Loid menaced. He said nothing more. He didn't have to. The mere mention of his name alone was enough to make the agent quake in fear.

Yuri on the other hand was far more animated, though Dominic was at least on standby to forcibly reel him in. "How _**dare** _you spill wine all over my sister you q-tip-headed moron!"

"Hey now, it was an accident!" Dominic reasoned with a pained smile, even as Yuri tried to break free from his grip in order to pummel Franky's face into casserole.

"...H-he's right," Yor piped up reluctantly. Everyone suddenly got quiet and spun around to face her. "It's fine, you two. I'll just...have to rinse off in the shower real quick."

Loid paused. He looked at Yor to find her already standing up. She hid her face with a frown, and immediately Loid's heart sank. With a muted _excuse me,_ she walked past Loid and the other guests on her way to the bathroom. The party watched in silence as she darted into the bathroom. No one made a peep, not until the door closed behind her; at that point, things picked back up exactly where they left off. Yuri went to rip Franky a new one. Dominic did damage control. Camilla and the girls mumbled to each other in hushed tones, and Loid was left standing there in the middle of it all. He stared at the bathroom, disheartened. He wanted to help, but knew there was nothing he could do at the moment besides keep the party going. He had to. For Yor's sake.

With a heavy sigh, he flipped on the switch once more. Back to being Loid Forger, the perfect family man.

With a fake smile and calm demeanor, he went about trying to put everyone at ease. Yuri was by the far the most difficult of the bunch to appease, but after much pandering (and an honest promise to kick Franky's ass later) Yor's brother finally calmed somewhat. He sat far off at the other end of the living room away from everyone else, and once he settled down the rest quickly followed. Conversation slowly picked back up, even more so once the sound of a shower being drawn came from the end of the hall. Yor was getting cleaned up. She'd be back at the party in no time, and the thought was enough to finally get things back in full swing. Franky was still the odd-man out, but Loid didn't care about that. The twerp.

 _New house rule,_ Twilight thought to himself as he went back into the kitchen to pour the ladies some more wine. _No more WISE agents at social functions._


	10. Mission 100: [Part II]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Updated Objective(s): ~~host a dinner party for friends and acquaintances~~ , maintain a professional relationship with Mrs. Forger, set a reminder to do the laundry** **  
> Reporting Status: ~~mission~~** ~~ ** ~~failure~~**~~ **, ~~inconclusive~~ , _no idea_**  
>  **ADDENDUM 5 [NIGHTFALL]:**  
>  _You're not seriously considering this Millie woman's proposal, are you? Do you think she might be an enemy agent trying to sabotage Operation Strix? Do you want my assistance in dealing with her?_  
>  **ADDENDUM 6 [TWILIGHT]** :  
>  _Of course not. She's Yor's co-worker and likes to give her a hard time. It was just harmless party-talk, nothing more._  
>  **ADDENDUM 7 [HANDLER]:**  
>  _Noted, although I'd have to side with Millie on this one and agree that it would indeed be very adorable._  
>  **ADDENDUM 8 [NIGHTFALL]:**  
>  _I fail to see how that has any relevance to what we're discussing._  
>  **ADDENDUM 9 [HANDLER]**  
>  _I'm your boss. Babies are cute. End of discussion._

Part II

* * *

The clock ticked. Time passed, as did worries about Yor.

All according to plan. Loid was fairly good at deflecting and keeping the party occupied, even as he himself started to become concerned with how long Yor was taking in the shower. The sound of running water had long since ceased, and he kept secretly eying the door in anticipation to see it open. Loid stood off to the side as everyone else sat around the coffee table. Food had long since been eaten. Wine flowed, and they were firmly at the point in the party where multiple conversations coalesced into a singular, alcohol-fueled mess. Admittedly, it was fun to watch them. Loid smirked; aside from the wine incident, the rest of Yor's party was going rather smoothly.

Camilla gave Franky crap for his earlier display, by all accounts standing up for her self-proclaimed _friend_ despite always acting like she couldn't care less. Millie chimed in as well, though more for the love of chaos than actually agreeing with Camilla. Sharon stayed completely out of it, and instead sat next to Dominic and Yuri as the two got into a loud debate about the results of a recent sports event. She offered her absent husband's two cents on the matter, which only reignited their fervent opinions. The three of them became lost in discussion, as did the others.

Loid stood. He watched. He waited. Then, out of nowhere, a voice called out to him from beyond the bathroom door.

"...Um, Loid? Could...you please come in here for a moment?"

It wasn't loud. If anything, Yor's voice was soft as a whisper, and yet somehow the entire party heard it. That of course included Loid who, as all eyes turned towards him, suddenly found himself frozen in a mild panic. His eyes shot wide open. She wanted him to come into the bathroom? While she showered? But the water wasn't running? It hadn't been for a while, actually...had she just been _standing there_ the whole time? Loid's lungs emptied; he suddenly realized she'd went straight to the bathroom and hadn't bothered to gather any clothes.

Yor was stranded in the bathroom. Nothing else would explain why she'd ask him to come in while she was...well...

Focus, Twilight. This wasn't a big deal...or at least he had to pretend like it wasn't, anyway.

"C-coming, Yor!" Loid answered back. He smiled to his guests politely before taking off quickly towards the bathroom.

He tried his best to avoid interested stares and raised eyebrows, though there was no escaping Yuri's own loud, public dilemma as he practically died knowing Loid was about to see his sister naked (he wasn't). Without hesitating, Loid ducked into the bathroom with nary a sound. The door opened, then closed, and before he knew it he was standing in the remnants of Yor's shower; a light mist lingered, though it was by no means enough to veil her from him. Thankfully, their shower curtain was thick and colored solid. He could see nothing.

Trembling fingers clutched the side of it, as if Yor were hanging on for dear life. "...Loid! We've got a big problem!"

"I know, you didn't grab any clothes," he nodded. Loid averted his eyes despite not being able to see her. Red dusted his face. "I'll get you some."

"N-no...it's worse than that," Yor revealed after a moment of silence. Loid could practically hear her shudder. "I was so preoccupied with the party, I forgot to do laundry...!"

Loid paused. The cogs in his head turned slowly, as if the moisture in the room was sapping his ability to think properly. "So...what? You're telling me-?"

"-I don't have _any_ clothes!" He'd never heard her voice that shrill before. She'd practically squealed. "Nothing!"

" _Nothing?"_ Loid repeated back to her; he found that hard to believe, and yet the curtain shook anxiously as Yor confirmed. "Not even some PJ's?"

"I can't go out there in a nightgown, Loid!" Her voice was high-pitched again. "Besides, I told you, everything's filthy! Today was supposed to be laundry day!"

Loid scratched the back of his head. Now that he thought about it, pajamas in front of her coworkers probably wouldn't go over well, anyway. "Alright, well...I'll just think of something else, then?"

There came a panicked sigh behind the shower curtain. It was followed by the sound of a body sliding against tile until finally landing in porcelain. Water splashed as Yor sat hunched over in the tub, legs curled up into a depressed ball so as to take up as little space as possible. Loid had no way of seeing any of this, but Yor made it so obvious that there was nothing else it could be. He couldn't help but to frown. His usual list of reassuring words and phrases didn't seem like it would help much at the moment. He stood there, silent.

This was supposed to be her party. He remembered when she first told him about it; Yor came home that day a nervous wreck, convinced he would be cross with her. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, she said. She just wanted them to look like an actual married couple so no one would get suspicious. Initial hesitance aside, Loid played along; not necessarily because he thought they _needed_ to host a party in order to convince everyone they were married, since they'd done a good job of doing so up until then, but because it was something Yor had come up with on her own. She was always following his lead (admittedly because he asked her to most of the time), and this was the first time she'd taken things into her own hands.

For the most part, it had all paid off, too. Loid briefly turned his attention back to the party outside. Their guests had resumed conversation once more, and if there was anyone who wasn't having a good time (aside from Franky) they were drowned out by those that were. Maybe Yor couldn't see that at the moment, but as her husband it was his job to make sure she did.

"I'll loan you some clothes," Loid spoke up. "I've got a button-up and some shorts you can wear in the meantime."

Silence. Loid waited for a response, which he most certainly got after Yor had time to process what he'd just said. "W-what?!"

"It's either that or a dirty nightgown," he reasoned. A distressed groan came from behind the curtain, and Loid nodded. "That's what I thought."

"Fine..." Yor relented. Her feet scraped the tub as she pulled her legs more in defeat. "...Mine as well try and ruin this party as spectacularly as possible..."

Loid smiled sympathetically. He gave her a second before speaking again. "For what it's worth, I'm enjoying myself. And I know for a fact that everyone else is, too."

There came no response, at least not with words. Maybe it was because they'd lived together for so long or because Yor was just really easy to read; regardless, Loid could tell her mood had improved somewhat at his reassurance. He informed her he'd be back in a minute, and promptly left to go fetch her some clothes. The sound of the door closing signaled to Yor that it was finally okay to breathe again. She'd held it when he admitted to having a good time, though for what reason she couldn't say. It mostly had to do with the fact that Loid had given her some form of approval. That, and everyone was having a good time despite all the setbacks. Like the wine, and...the...?

...Really, what other setbacks were there?

The clothes, of course, but other than that...what exactly made this party a disaster again? Yor thought about it real hard for a moment. Why was she stressed out to begin with? This whole thing was just supposed to be a cover for her and Loid, at least originally. It wasn't meant to impress anyone. It wasn't suppose to prove to anyone _anything,_ save that they were an actual (fake) couple. The only thing she set out to achieve she did, so...what was all the fuss about? Her and Loid were married. Everyone knew that. No one questioned it. So...mission accomplished, right?

The fact that everyone was having a good time made her smile, though it was technically just icing on the cake. A bonus. If anything, the only person that Yor really wanted to enjoy the night was the same person who made it all possible in the first place. The food. The drinks. The pleasant conversation. Loid took care of it all, and as the door opened again upon his return Yor's face became red at the thought of him cutting loose for a change. No one deserved it more than her husband. As a change of clothes were draped over the side of the shower curtain rail, Yor affirmed to herself that she'd get dressed as quickly as possible. Go outside. Get back to the party. Continue to be a good host, and finish the night off strong. For Loid's sake.

"Let me know if you need anything else," he offered from the other side. "I'll be waiting just outside the door."

"I will," Yor answered back. She smiled, even though Loid couldn't see it. The door closed behind him as he left, and she soon rose to her feet with newly-found confidence.

* * *

"Yor forgot her clothes?" Dominic asked with a chuckle. He approached with a hand in one pocket while the other carried a glass.

"Sort of," Loid smiled hesitantly. He stood dutifully next to the bathroom door. "There was a bit of a mix-up with the laundry. We had to...improvise."

Dominic took a sip of wine before nodding. "Happened to Camilla once. Forgot to drop her clothes off at the cleaners. She had to walk around in nothing but one of my sweaters all day."

There came a loud whoop from Millie, and Camilla immediately lost it next to her. Clearly gassed, Dominic offered his girlfriend a giant grin as she marched over to rip into him. Sharon also had something to say, and soon the apartment erupted in a chorus of words. Loid was thankful for it; the heat was off him and Yor for the moment. It couldn't have come at a better time, either. As Camilla dragged Dominic back towards the others so she could publicly reprimand him, the bathroom door suddenly creaked open. Loid looked over right as his wife emerged. Mist rolled out behind her.

"...So, how do I look?" she asked while turning towards him. Yor held her arms out a little to show off her outfit.

She got no reply from Loid. He just stood there and stayed completely silent. He scanned her, up, down, then up again.

Yor's hair was down. She was smart and hadn't washed it, though it was still a little damp at the ends. Her long, raven locks draped over her shoulders, and they contrasted sharply with the white button-up she wore. Loid was several sizes larger than Yor and his shirt left her a lot of room, save of course for the chest area...that part she had no trouble filling in. She also rolled her sleeves up a little in order to make it look less big, though there was nothing Yor could do to make it any higher. His shorts almost disappeared completely underneath it, and the only reason they didn't was because they too were oversized. Yor was practically smothered in his clothes, though with that said...she wore it well.

Yor waited, but the longer Loid say nothing the redder her face became. She flinched. "S-should I put on something else? Is it bad?"

"N-no!" Loid shook himself out of it. He felt his face grow hot, and he coughed to hide it. "It looks fine. It'll get you through the party, at least."

Yor stepped back. She held an arm across her chest, something she tended to do whenever she was flustered. "Really?"

"Yeah." That's all he would say. Loid wouldn't look at her. If his intent was to put her at ease, for once he wasn't doing a very good job of it.

Loid motioned for her to go on ahead. She hesitated, and only did so when he finally spared her a glance. A tremulous smirk twitched across his face, and the sight of it only reaffirmed Yor's fears; this whole thing was a bad idea. It would have been better to just disappear into her room for the rest of the night, though Yor had already told herself she'd see things through till the end. With a sigh of uncertainty, she steeled herself as best she could and walked into the living room with Loid right behind her. The moment of truth was upon her.

She emerged. Yuri was the first to notice. He happened to be facing her direction when she arrived, and whatever word was on the tip of his tongue mid-conversation quickly became lost at the sight of his sister. His very being stopped in time; mouth agape, he stared emotionless as Sharon continued to talk in his ear about something unimportant. Yor, meanwhile, flinched at her brother's obvious stare. She put her arm across her chest again, as if that would somehow spare her from further embarrassment. Both Briars held their breath.

Yuri looked at Loid. Loid raised a brow. Yuri then looked at Franky. Still emotionless, his eyes zeroed in. _"I'm gonna fucking kill him."_

Franky didn't notice there was murder aimed towards him until Yuri suddenly got up from the couch and tried to pounce the half-pint from across the room. He yelped in terror while at the same time Dominic ran interference once more. Yor protested angrily as her brother fought to kill one of their other guests, though Loid wouldn't be bothered to so much as shrug at the display. As far as he was concerned, whatever pummeling Franky got that night was warranted. Besides, he'd stop things if they got out of hand...probably.

While the boys were busy being savages, Millie turned her attention to Yor. "Ooh! Look at you!"

Yor's lips squiggled. She held her cheeks. "Please don't say anything, Millie...I didn't have anything else to wear..."

"But you look good!" her coworker giggled, causing Yor's to eyes widen. "You should wear your husband's clothes more often!"

Millie's comment incited another ruckus from Yuri. The youngest Briar sibling spun around and gaped incredulously. "You take that back right now!"

"Oh, come off it, Yuri," Sharon added. Yuri huffed in exasperation. "Your sister's been married for a year. What are you gonna do when they finally have a kid together?"

Millie's face lit up. "A babyyy~! Maybe a little brother for Anya? Could you imagine how adorable a little Loid would be running around? That's it, you two need to get to work on that, _pronto!"_

Loid closed his eyes. It was the only thing he could do to keep his composure, even as his wife's entire body turned beet red next to him. Yuri's did, too, but for obviously different reasons. Yor's brother started to mount another argument, though was promptly cut off by Camilla from the other end of the table. She rolled her eyes and took up her wine glass before scoffing.

"Can we please not talk about the Forgers' bedroom affairs?" Camilla shook her head. The thought alone was enough to give her heartburn. "I'd _really_ appreciate it."

"Seconded!" Franky chimed in. He figured agreeing with Camilla would help stop Yuri from killing him, seeing as how they were both on the same page.

It ended up working up well enough, surprisingly. Yuri narrowed his eyes, and after a moment he finally relented. "Right, yes. _Thank you!_ "

Conversation erupted once more. Dominic commented off from the side, though was drowned out by his girlfriend as she again told him to drop the subject. Millie and Sharon made snappy comments to one another, mostly at Yuri's expense, and the latter suddenly found himself trying to justify his actions to them. Franky meanwhile stood off to the side and snickered at his counterparts, finding their small arguments to be far more entertaining when they didn't involve him. And away from it all were Yor and Loid. The latter stood behind his wife as she took up on the love seat while he leaned against it. They remained quiet as their guests carried on without them, and for a moment they simply watched.

Loid looked down at his wife. She was busy paying attention to Yuri and the others and didn't sense his staring, at least not at first. He couldn't stop himself, even as a small voice in the back of his brain told him to cut it out. There was nothing to look at it. It was just Yor...wearing his clothes. There wasn't anything inappropriate about that, per say. Plus it wouldn't have been the first time one of his partners thought to don a shirt of his, although that was always with women he'd gotten close with for the sake of past missions.

Loid supposed Yor _also_ fit into that category, but...clearly not in the same way. He shifted wearily at the realization that his so-called wife, the one woman it would make sense to become intimate with for appearances sake, was the only one of his partners that he'd never, well, _done it with_. The thought alone made him flinch, even more so when Yor caught on to his staring. He looked away the moment her head titled backwards to look up at him, and he tried his best to play it off. Loid knew such an attempt would prove futile, though; Yor was hard spy on.

She was much more obvious with her staring than her husband. Yor reined in some loose strands of hair as she rested her head against the back of the chair. Red tickled her face, as it always did, and she tried her best to hide it. Loid would know anyway; he could always read her like an open-book, or so she thought at least. Even so, Yor pretended like she was stretching when his eyes glanced down at her for a fraction of a second. An earnest attempt to hide her thinly veiled gaze, or at least it would have been if she didn't melt beneath him.

They were hopeless. Such was the thinking of Franky as he watched in secret from afar. At that point he'd broken Loid's rule and had dipped into the wine, though it wasn't like Twilight was paying any attention. He was too busy acting like a teenage boy, and the sight was enough to make the scruffy man shake his head. From his secluded spot, Franky watched his friend play tag with Yor; the moment one looked away, the other would look back a second later. Everyone else was too tipsy or involved in conversation to notice, but Franky picked up on it no problem. He knew what to look for and even then it wasn't hard to figure out. He'd known Twilight for years. He knew how he operated. Worked. Thought.

The idiot wasn't taking his own advice. All these years he'd gone on about not getting attached to people, and yet here he was flirting with his wife.

Was it innocent? Maybe. Were there feelings behind it? Franky hoped not, at least for Twilight's sake. He liked Yor; she kept Twilight on his toes and was _much_ more pleasant to talk to than him. If it were a different time, in a different place, Franky would have shaken his buddy and told him to marry her for real a long time ago. But this was Ostania. She was an Ostanian citizen, and they were from Westalis. Such a relationship would never work, not even taking into account that...well, relationships always ended badly for people with jobs like theirs. They just never worked.

Franky frowned. He took a sip of wine and kept watching the Forgers. Even taking into account everything he'd just said, all the things he knew, and every justified fear he had about this whole thing...even Franky had to admit they seemed happy. Go figure. Grumpy ol' Twilight, venom-tongued and no-nonsense, and by all accounts a downright _asshole_ at his worst, was softer than fresh-baked cookies whenever Yor was around. Not all the time, but even those rare moments when he genuinely let his guard down were always because of her. His fake wife. Fake mother to his child. The means to an end. By all accounts a huge mistake to develop feelings for, though Franky knew that was way out the window at this point.

He shook his head, yet still a grin etched into the informant's face. Twilight was hopeless; Franky's job was information gathering, not babysitting. Still, he supposed he'd hold his tongue in the meantime. Watch from afar, like he always did, and reel his buddy in if things ever went too far. Or...maybe not even then, Franky mused as Yor and Loid eventually caught each other staring and turned red from embarrassment. They both looked away and stopped their little game, both too shaken to continue.

Franky took another drink of wine and his grin got even bigger; knowing Loid, he'd be too hung up on Yor to remember to kick his ass later.

* * *

"Bye! Thank you for coming!" Yor waved off the last of the guests; Camilla and Dominic politely waved back as they walked down the hall. "See you on Monday!"

They couldn't leave fast enough. Once it was just her and Loid, Yor immediately darted back inside and closed the door behind her. She collapsed against it and breathed a huge sigh of relief. The sound of running water in the kitchen and lovely silence throughout the apartment signaled the end of the Forger party. By all accounts it had been a huge success; everyone, even her brother, voiced their approval before leaving. There was talk of getting together again at some point in the future and Yor agreed; at someone else's house, of course.

"Mission accomplished," Loid called out over the chorus of dishes.

Yor stayed against the wall for a moment and nodded. "No more parties for a while."

"Agreed," her husband sighed. They were exhausted, and had been even before Camilla and Dominic left.

Who knew hosting could be so tiring? Certainly not Yor; she figured with her athleticism and unique set of skills, such a small thing like running around their apartment for a few hours would be a piece of cake. If anything, it was the most draining thing she'd ever done before. Yor couldn't help but to admire Camilla for putting on such a wonderful party all those months ago, and vaguely she considered putting something together for her upon returning to work on Monday as a sort of late token of appreciation.

Such a thing would have to wait till tomorrow, though. Yor was pooped.

After catching her breath, she went to the living room and started to gather trash and dishes. Both she and Loid fell into a malaise as post-party brain wracked them both; they spaced out and went on auto-pilot of a little while. Neither said a word and simply went to work on their respective cleaning duties. Loid handled any leftovers, cleaned the kitchen, and rearranged the dining room table. Yor picked up and started to gather all the dirty laundry that she had inconveniently forgotten to do earlier in the day.

"You're doing laundry now?" Loid raised a brow as he spied her through the kitchen window. It was close to midnight.

Yor tilted her head. "Not that I particularly want to, but we don't have anything to sleep in...or at least _I_ don't."

"Just wear my night-shirt," he replied tiredly. Yor immediately gaped at the suggestion, but Loid didn't care. He was done for the night.

Yor went to say something, but the words caught in her throat. Despite clearly not being comfortable with the thought, Yor had to admit Loid's offer sounded way better than staying up all night doing laundry. Besides, there was no point in cleaning her nightgown when she'd probably just pass out on the couch waiting for the dryer, anyway. Even then she'd still be wearing Loid's clothes, and at least if she wore his night-shirt then she could fall asleep in the comfort of her own bed. For once, she was too tired to be embarrassed.

"...Alright," Yor agreed. She still pinked, however; Yor was convinced this entire night was some test to see how many times she could blush.

The water stopped as Loid paused on the dishes. He dried himself off before walking past Yor on his way to fish out what few clothes he had left. She waited patiently, and a minute later he returned with the t-shirt in his hand. He handed it off to her, and she likewise went into her room to go get changed. A heavy yawn tugged at her lips as she left him alone with the after-party mess. Loid looked around him and his face fell flat; there was no way he was cleaning all this right now. He'd knock out the dishes, and the rest could wait till tomorrow.

The remainder of the plates and silverware were washed and put away. Everything else would be left, untouched, until the morning. Loid walked past it all and shuffled into his room, while at the same time Yor came out of hers to go brush her teeth. They missed each other; neither saw the other come or go, not until Loid got changed and he too went to go take care of his nightly affairs. They crossed paths once he entered the bathroom to wash up, and it was at that point Yor nearly spit out her toothpaste.

She stopped. In the mirror beside her stood her husband; tall, tired and shirtless.

He didn't pay her even the slightest bit of attention. Loid's eyes were fixed entirely on his toothbrush, and even after he went to work cleaning out the lingering taste of wine from his tongue Loid still didn't seem to notice her next to him. She, on the other hand, noticed him. Yor's face was hot, frozen, and everything else in between. She dared not turn to look at him, and instead just stared through the bathroom mirror. He stared back, though his attention wasn't on her. It wasn't anywhere, really. Truly he was in his own little world.

The water ran. He rinsed his mouth, then leaned over to wash his face, and Yor looked down at the muscles on his back. Her toes curled.

She looked away when he popped back up. Loid dried off and quickly left her alone. With a tired _good night,_ he waved behind him and suddenly Yor was left alone. Standing there breathless, her eyes lingered on the spot in the mirror where her husband had been standing. It was almost like he'd never been there to begin with; just a dream that had paid her a visit in the night. Maybe she was asleep? Yor pinched herself for a second and squinted. Nope, still awake. Yor looked down at herself and immediately became red again.

She was wearing the top half of Loid's sleep attire. Him, the bottom half.

She still had on his shorts from earlier (thankfully). His shirt fit more snug than his button-up, but still covered her down to her thighs. All things considering, it _was_ quite comfy, though there was no getting used to this clothing situation no matter how hard she tried. Yor shook her head and sighed deeply; the sooner she went to bed and got up to do laundry, the less chances of her dying from a heart attack. Between Loid and everything else that had happened that night, Yor didn't think she could take any more surprises.

Teeth brushed. Face washed. Nature, answered. Yor took care of everything and turned off the lights behind her. Loid had long since retreated into his bedroom, and she quickly did the same. Yor hopped straight into bed and immediately lost herself in the cool feeling her pillow. She curled up nicely in her sheets and closed her eyes. Thoughts of the party were soon replaced with that of her family. Anya would be dropped off in the morning, likely early, so she needed to be up and ready at a decent time to receive her.

Loid would need help cleaning. Maybe if she got up before him, she could knock everything out before he awoke and surprise him. It was the least she could do after everything he'd done for her that night. She smiled as the lingering image of her husband and daughter became etched into her mind, and it wasn't long before she fell asleep peacefully to it.

Her family. A fake one, yet even still she was dearly fond of it.

* * *

Loid staggered into the living room as he scratched the back of his head. His alarm had failed to go off. Maybe the fact he'd knocked it off the nightstand in a half-wake stupor had something to do with it. He'd intended to wake up early and get a head start on all the cleaning, though supposed that option was off the table now; even more so when he realized that there wasn't anything dirty to clean. He blinked while scanning the living room and was surprised to find everything back in order as it should be. Yor must have gotten up before him.

As if on queue, his wife greeted him pleasantly as she crept up behind him. "Morning, Loid!"

"Good morning," he replied back. He turned around and found Yor with a basket of clothes in her arms. "Thank you for cleaning."

"Of course!" she beamed back. "I needed to get to work on laundry, anyway. Anya will be home any minute and I want to make sure she has clean clothes."

Loid nodded. He'd nearly forgotten about their daughter. Neither he nor the Blackbells had agreed on a time frame of when to drop her off, but seeing as how it was a Sunday and close to noon Loid assumed it would be soon. He didn't know if they'd fed her or not, though even if they had he and Yor still needed to eat. Loid informed his wife he'd get to work on breakfast and she nodded. They both went to work on their respective chores and kept quiet for a time. Dutiful silence. A far cry from the chaos of last night. It was relaxing.

Eggs and sausage. Simple, quick, and if Anya wasn't hungry it could be fed to the dog. Speaking of, Loid glanced over and found Bond sitting attentively at the end of the kitchen. He was ready to carry out his sole duty as the Forger hound; should any stray food drop to the floor, it was his job to clean it up. Loid looked over his shoulder. His wife was nowhere to be found and, once he determined the coast was clear, he promptly flicked a chunk of sausage off the pan with his spatula. It fell, and Bond went straight to work. He waddled over and made the mess disappear in one gulp.

"Tell no one," Loid instructed.

Bond complied. He was good at keeping secrets.

Breakfast didn't take long to make. Loid barely finished by the time a knock came at the door. Most likely Anya. Yor called out to Loid and asked him if he could answer it. Seeing as how he was done cooking anyway, Loid turned off the burner and made his way to the door. He looked down as Bond followed beside him and very quickly he realized he wasn't decent. His shirt situation hadn't changed since last night. Loid failed to notice before, but even so his apathy had also carried over with him; he just flat out didn't care at the moment.

With a sigh and a shrug to himself he opened the door. In front of him stood his daughter, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and next to her were her friend Becky and who Loid assumed was the Blackbells' chauffeur. The two men nodded to one another and exchanged pleasantries, while at the same time the two little girls stirred at their knees.

"Papa! Where's your shirt!" Anya pointed up at him. It was less a question and more an incredulous statement; papa was always well-dressed.

"It's a long story, Anya," Loid shook his head. He promised to fill her in later before turning his attention to Becky. "Did you two have fun at your sleepover?"

Becky was silent. She stood stiff as a board and stared up at Mr. Forger. If he bothered to look hard enough, he could've seen the hearts in her eyes. "I-I-I...! Y-you-!"

"We really must be going, Ms. Blackbell," Becky's chauffeur informed her. "Your parents are both off for the first time in weeks and they wish to spend the day with you."

"B-but I don't wanna spend time with them! I wanna stay here!" Becky exclaimed. She continued to gape at Loid, even as her chauffeur started to drag her away. "Wait! Nooo-!"

Both Loid and Anya raised a brow as the little girl struggled in vain to break free. The latter had the unfortunate ability to read her friend's mind, and she wished nothing more than to scrub Becky's version of papa from her own. She could be weird sometimes. Loid found that out, too, though he had no way of knowing what his daughter's friend was thinking. He just waved politely as Becky and her chauffeur walked down the stairs and disappeared. The sounds of her struggling could still be heard as Loid and Anya retreated inside. Only the door closing behind them could silence it.

"Mama! I'm home!" Anya called out. She let her backpack fall to the floor next to her as Bond came up to lick her face.

Yor appeared around the corner immediately. She gaped ecstatically at her daughter's presence and ran up to hug her. Anya made the same face, though it quickly shifted when she realized what her mama was wearing. Her smile morphed into confusion as she felt Yor's arms wrap around her; she still hugged her mama back, but looked up at papa as she did.

"...Why is mama wearing your shirt?" Anya asked him pointedly. Loid immediately straightened.

Yor hugged her daughter tighter, if only to hide the sudden redness in her cheeks. "Um, I forgot to do laundry yesterday..."

"...So she borrowed my clothes," Loid finished for her. His eyes narrowed uncomfortably as Anya gave him an inquisitive look. "Nothing more."

Anya blinked. It was a reasonable answer, but somehow it seemed a difficult concept to wrap her head around. Anya didn't particularly know _why_ it was a big deal, at least...not until she read her parents' minds. Unbeknownst to them, she got a crash course in almost everything that had happened last night. Franky. The wine. The clothes. Everything save for what happened before they both went to bed, as she didn't have enough time to gleam that off of them before Yor broke away. She smiled at her daughter, and Anya smiled back to cover her tracks.

Papa minus shirt, plus mama _with_ shirt, equaled...something. She was pretty bad at math, but knew that equation amounted to some sort of change in her parents. That much was obvious, even to Anya. She looked up at them as they exchanged glances and smiles before separating once more; Yor to go finish turning over the laundry and Loid to start serving breakfast. She scrunched her face up and tried to mull over what exactly was going on, but ultimately was unable to as the smells of eggs and sausage wafted into her nostrils. It was time to eat.

She'd already had breakfast at Becky's, but...it was nearly noon. _Second_ breakfast, she thought to herself in satisfaction. With a big smile she rushed over to the dinner table and took up a chair as Bond followed behind. He sat at her feet as Loid came into drop off a plate in front of her. She immediately gathered her knife and fork, though waited for mama to arrive as papa called out to her to come eat. He then took off to go find a shirt to put on in the meantime; even if it was the same one from last night, it was better than nothing, at least until Yor was done with laundry.

Speaking of, he walked past his wife on the way to his bedroom. They side-stepped one another, and spared each other a glance before walking away. Loid stopped at his door and looked over his shoulder to catch Yor right before she turned the corner.

She'd put her hair up in a ponytail, but it was her figure that caught his attention. It was painfully noticeable from behind. The house-sweater she usually wore always covered it up, but with her new outfit there was no hiding it. Loid stared as long legs walked away from him, and he was left reminded of the night before. When he left Yor in the bathroom and pretended not to notice before leaving for bed; the way his shirt hugged her chest, and teased the rest of her like some kind of cruel joke. It was all he could think about for the better half of the evening, and the sole reason why he passed out late and subsequently slept in. Then and now, as Yor's curves disappeared from sight, all Loid could do was remind himself of Operation Strix. His mission. The sole reason he was there in the first place.

He sighed. Long, steady, and deep.

Best to let her keep the clothes...just in case she ever forgot to do laundry again.


	11. Mission 123: If On A Winter's Night a Dreamer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger, Anya Forger, Bond**   
>  **Mission Objective(s): make it through the night**   
>  **Reporting status: successful**

_...The presence of two men, both in lab coats, demands her attention..._ _Anya looks up at them, unable to speak and even less able to react as one of them says something before pulling out a syringe..._ _A thick, green liquid settles as he pushes the air out of it, resulting in a tiny drop that plunges to the floor..._ _Anya shakes her head. That's all she can manage before one of the men grabs her. Overpowered, she is forced to watch as her arm is taken and a needle is stabbed into it..._ _She squeals. She cries. The men make no effort to assuage her. Cold liquid fills her veins, and her memory escapes her once more..._

* * *

In a cold sweat, Anya sprung up from her bed. Eyes wide, she gasped to let air fill her empty lungs; all of a sudden she was alive again, and her sudden presence was enough to shake her nearby dog from his slumber. Bond threw his head up the moment Anya came to, but offered little more than an inquisitive head tilt as she stared out in front of her. Anya gave a shuddered breath before scanning her surroundings. She was in her bed. The lights were off. The door was closed. It was dark. She blinked, and it felt like nothing had changed. There was no difference between the void around her and the inside of her eyelids.

It was at that point the tears started to come, her body's delayed reaction to a restless mind. A sniff turned into a cry. A cry, a wail. Before Anya knew it she was sobbing uncontrollably. Tears streamed down her face as she tried in vain to wipe them away. Bond whimpered and put his head on Anya's bed, unable to do anything more to comfort her at the moment.

For how long she was like that, Anya couldn't say. All she knew was that, after crying for what felt like an eternity, her door suddenly flew open. A loud bang echoed throughout Anya's tiny room as the door handle crashed into the wall behind it, a force so loud and disorienting that Anya froze mid-cry. She stopped. Her tears stopped. Everything about her seemed suspended in animation, the only thing to change being her expression of pure shock as Yor stood in the doorway. Donned in a nightgown and wearing haphazard hair, Anya's mama held her fists up with a bestial scowl across her face.

"What is it?!" she shouted, convinced there was a kidnapper present whose sole aim was to take her daughter away. She scanned the room, but found nothing.

Letting her guard down a little bit, Yor looked to Anya. The shock of her (terrifyingly awesome) mama's presence hit swiftly; so hard that it stopped her crying for a brief moment, but fleeting enough to where she was already starting back up the moment their eyes met. The waterworks picked up where they left off, and Anya rubbed her soaked face with equally drenched hands. Yor gave a worried sort of sigh and immediately sat at the edge of the bed with her. The moment she connected with the mattress, tiny arms wrapped around Yor in a tight embrace.

"Ma-ma...!" Anya hiccuped, rubbing her face into Yor's chest. "I h-had...a bad dreeeam-!"

Anya's crying came harder the moment she finished explaining herself. At that point, Yor's entire demeanor shifted. The cold fury of a lioness protecting her cub was immediately replaced with a warm smile and soft touch. Yor wrapped her arms around Anya and tucked her into her bosom. She hummed a little into her daughter's soft hair as hot tears stained her nightgown, and she offered some soothing whispers of reassurance. Everything would be okay, Yor murmured. Mama was there now. Whatever was trying to hurt her wasn't real and even if it was, _she_ would protect her from it.

Sobbing abated slightly, enough at least to where, when another figure eventually entered the room, there wasn't a repeat of mama's earlier entrance. That wasn't to say all was well when papa entered Anya's room, though; the look on Loid's face was even scarier than Yor's, but then again he was always scary when he was really angry. This was one of those times, where the the light faded from his features and the only thing that could be seen were his cold, unrelenting eyes. It was probably a good thing mama got there when she did, because seeing papa's face first might have only added to his daughter's distress. Granted it would have been welcome if there actually _was_ a kidnapper about, but without one around he only ended up looking like a bad guy himself.

At least it didn't last long. The moment Loid realized that Anya was okay and that Yor was already consoling her, he deflated almost immediately. A tired sigh escaped him as he looked over his family, finding the girls on the bed and Bond stoically watching through it all. Loid walked over to the light and flipped it on, revealing his upset daughter in more detail. He said nothing as Yor continued to soothe her, electing to just stand there quietly and listen to her reassuring whispers along with Anya. He also flashed a few looks here and there for added security, just to be sure.

Once the crying had all but stopped, Yor pulled Anya away from her and smiled. "All better?"

"Mm," Anya sniffed. She wanted to say no and continue being held, but she ended up nodding reluctantly.

"Good," Yor cooed. Anya felt a gentle nudge as mama brought their foreheads together. "You should get some rest."

"But what if it happens again?" Anya shot back immediately. Her eyes watered just thinking about it. "I don't wanna be alone!"

"Loid and I are right next door," Yor countered, flashing her husband a glance. He nodded. "If anything happens, we'll both come running again. Okay?"

Anya hesitated. Part of her felt like that wasn't good enough; she didn't want to be alone _period._ She wanted to sleep with them. Both of them. _Together,_ like families did. But Loid and Yor slept in separate rooms, and Anya knew that wasn't going to happen no matter how much she wanted it to. Besides, despite her desire to be held and coddled, Anya knew she was the safest girl in the city. Between her mama and papa, there wasn't a monster or villain alive that would _dare_ try to snatch her away. Especially not after how quickly they both came when they thought she was in trouble. Anya took comfort in that thought, enough to where she didn't argue with her mama. She swallowed any remaining tears and resolved herself to be strong like her parents.

Anya threw the covers over herself in order to fall back asleep. She sighed tiredly as she pulled her penguin plush in close. "Okay, mama."

Fears extinguished for the most part, exhaustion quickly set in for Anya. It wasn't long before she drifted back off to sleep, though neither Loid nor Yor left the room until they knew for sure she did. They didn't move until the sounds of her tiny breath became soft and constant, letting them know it was finally safe to leave. Loid allowed his wife to exit first before taking off right after her; he spared Anya's room one long look before absently flipping the light switch off, casting his daughter into darkness once more.

He closed the door, and all became silent once more.

* * *

_...Images fade in and out...Broken buildings and streets ablaze from constant shelling...The smell of death and charred remains of what used to be people...A crying child behind rubble...All of it tells_ _the story of a man who ultimately failed in his attempts to delay the inevitable...To prevent war, and all the tragedy that came along with it...Twilight stands in the middle of it all. Frozen. Staring...He looks down at his hands and finds them drenched in blood...He lowers them...At his feet he finds the source...Two mangled bodies curled into one another...He sees their faces...Yor...Anya...His wife...His daughter...He screams..._

* * *

Alone at the head of the dining room table, he sat there. The overhead lamp above him remained extinguished, the only light left to reveal his darkened form being the fluorescent rods found on the nearby kitchen ceiling. Idle hands weaved as he looked down in contemplation at the wood underneath his elbows, and the smell of coffee filled the room. Loid remained silent on the outside, though Yor knew there was a lot going through his head at the moment. Or at least, she suspected that was the case, anyway.

She stood in the hallway for a time, electing to simply watch her husband from afar as his eyes continued to focus and refocus. He got that look from time-to-time; Loid was thinking hard about something, and she had lived with him long enough to know when something was bugging him. Such was the case now when she stumbled upon him on her way for a glass of water. At first, Yor assumed she was the only one still up. She'd poked her head into Anya's room to double check if her daughter was still asleep. Rhythmic snoring quickly confirmed to her that was indeed the case, and she snuck back out with Anya none the wiser. That was when she noticed Loid there by himself in the dark. For the following minute or so she stood there and waited, wondering what he was doing...

"...Spying on me?" a tired, albeit amused voice echoed from the dining room. Yor pinked; nothing ever got past Loid.

"N-no!" she replied a second later. Yor stepped out from the hallway with her arms behind her back. "I was just getting a glass of water."

Loid looked up from his chair and nodded. "I was a bit thirsty myself. Couldn't really sleep, so I made a pot of coffee. There's still some left if you want it."

Yor politely refused. Coffee was fine, but she intended to fall back asleep at some point. Tea was about the most caffeine she could handle at the moment, something she made clear to Loid before walking past him towards the kitchen. He acknowledged her with another smile, though it lasted only a fleeting moment before it faded. He went back to staring at the dinner table and disappeared into his thoughts once more, not even paying attention this time as Yor stole glances at him from the window above the kitchen sink.

He probably still knew she was looking at him, but the fact that he didn't mention anything about it concerned Yor.

No steam came from his coffee. It'd been sitting there for a while, and there wasn't a single smudge on the rim of his mug. He made a whole pot and hadn't drank any of it. Yor frowned, thinking something was wrong, but said nothing. She kept her worries to herself, at least until the whistle of a tea kettle summoned her attention. She took if off the heat and gathered herself a cup, plus an extra one just in case. A moment later and she shuffled into the dining room with everything one would need for an early morning tea time for two.

"I figured some tea might help you relax a little," she explained gingerly before dropping the teacup in front of Loid. "I know you've got coffee, but...it is rather early."

Loid blinked. He seemed to snap back to his senses after focusing on something intently. He looked at his full coffee mug, then back at Yor. "Thanks. I think I will have some."

Yor smiled politely as she poured. Loid did the same, though his gaze was distant. She tended to his cup, then hers, before pulling up a chair next to him. The smell of sugar and milk mixed with herbs filled her nostrils as she sipped her early morning tea quietly. Yor closed her eyes and basked in the quiet, finding it rather pleasant. The world outside stirred with the faint rumblings of a distant overnight storm, though inside it was calm and peaceful. Loid's thoughts were his own, but that was okay. Yor still appreciated the opportunity to just sit with him in silence. Sometimes, that was more than enough. She simply opened her eyes and focused on the promise of rain.

"You did a great job of calming Anya down," Loid said suddenly. A finger curled around the handle of his teacup. "It was a good thing you got there when you did."

"Oh? Thank you," Yor replied politely. "I mean, I just did for her what I use to do for Yuri all the time."

"Yeah, you've probably got a lot of experience in that department,'" he mused. Loid took a sip of his drink and immediately relented; it was still piping hot.

Yor laced her fingers together. "I suppose. _You're_ Anya's dad, though. I'm just stumbling my way through most of the time, but you know her much better than I do."

"I think at this point you know her just as well as I do," Loid countered in amusement. "Besides, _you're_ her mom. When it comes to offering comfort, you've got me beat."

Yor blinked before looking down at her tea. A tiny smile tugged at her lips before she went in for a sip, leaving Loid to gaze at her while she wasn't looking. He stared at her, specifically her face, before looking away to bury his thoughts for good. Or, at least, he tried to; even as he partook in his own cup of chamomile and stared out into the dark nothing just at the edge of what little light there was, Loid still found himself thinking back to that blasted dream from earlier. His eyes narrowed in frustration with himself. It wasn't real, so why mull over it?

"If you don't mind me asking," Yor spoke up suddenly, pulling Loid's attention back to her. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

Loid thought about it for a moment. He briefly considered lying, but quickly deemed it unnecessary. Everyone had bad dreams. "Just a nightmare."

"You too?" Yor frowned. She put her cup down. "What was it about?"

Loid flinched. _That_ part he should twist around a bit. "...I failed at my job, and people got hurt because of it."

"I see," Yor clasped her hands together. "It must be so stressful being a doctor and having people rely on you constantly. The pressure must be enormous."

"Sometimes," Loid narrowed his eyes in thought. "I just want everyone to live their best lives, but the world does whatever it can to get in the way."

Hate. Politics. The storied history of two nations at each other's throats. There was no overcoming that, even if Operation Strix ended up being successful. All it would do was buy the world more time to come to a better solution, one that would hopefully offer a peace that was more permanent than the shaky one Westalis and Ostania currently shared. There were no guarantees, no promises, but for Loid it was the best that he could do. He had to confront Desmond; he had to fulfill his duty, for the fate of two countries and all the people that lived in them.

That included Yor and Anya.

"You're a good man, Loid." A gentle hum filled his ears. He snapped back to reality to find Yor sitting there across from him, smiling. "Really."

Loid blinked in surprise as his wife did before. He eventually echoed back her smile and shook his head. "I'm not, but...I appreciate it, Yor. Thank you."

"Well, regardless," Yor closed her eyes. "The three of us are living our best lives right now. Whatever the world has in store for us, I know it'll all be okay in the end!"

Loid paused. His eyes fell on Yor and stayed there, even as she tried her best to pretend they weren't there. Yor peeked at him, only to find Loid there still staring at her. She pinked and tried to occupy herself with tea. It became quiet again between the two of them, and as the seconds ticked by Yor wondered if she might have said the wrong thing. Loid's face was unreadable, not that she spent enough time looking at it to be sure. Perhaps she should try to apologize...?

"You're right. Everything will be fine," Loid suddenly spoke up. Yor looked over at her husband to find him staring down at his cup, before he added quietly, "I'll make sure of it."

Yor's lips disappeared. She didn't like how he said that last part. It sounded too sad. "And I'll help! You've got me! I'm not much of a wife, but I won't let you handle everything alone, no matter what it is!"

This time, Loid's head snapped up. He froze under Yor's suddenly intense gaze. Unsure, yet determined, it was the face he knew her by. She wasn't the most confident person in the world, but then again neither was he. The spy game was easy; it was matters of _family_ that came the hardest to him. Loid's stare softened as he remembered his own words from earlier, _when it comes to comfort you've got me beat._ Even now, sitting at the dinner table with Yor, Loid was reminded yet again that there was a reason he got married in the first place.

He couldn't do it alone.

"...I'm not much of a husband either," Loid smirked into his tea before taking a sip. "So I guess that means we'll just have to try harder together."

Yor paused. Her eyes got wide; partly because of Loid's comment, and partly because of how quickly she replied to it. "I think you're a wonderful husband, Loid."

A rumble came from outside much louder than before, but Loid didn't seem to notice. He just continued staring down at his tea without acknowledging Yor, even though she was sure he'd heard what she said. All she could do was take up her own cup and mimic him; her eyes became lost in herbs and honey, and the couple let the sound of fresh rain against the living room window take them.

"This tea is very good, thank you." Loid spoke softly.

Yor grasped her cup with both hands. Heat seeped into her fingers. "Of course."

* * *

_...Yor stares into the mirror...Short for her age, mom towers above her to the right...The two of them are getting ready for their day...She watches mom put on makeup while she does her hair...She smiles...She closes her eyes...Opens them...All of a sudden, mom's gone...It's just her...Yuri calls out from down the hall...He doesn't know how to tie his shoes yet...Yor stares into the mirror again...She reaches for mom's lipstick...She puts it on sloppily...Mom never taught her how...The red eyes that stare back at her aren't her own...Yuri calls out to her again...He's crying now...Yor only stares...She can't recognize the face looking back at her in the mirror...She wants to cry, too, but her little brother already took away all the tears..._

* * *

Yor's eyes stayed welded shut, even after she was awoken by thunder.

Her bed offered no comfort. Once Loid left her, he took any sense of security along with him. She tried in vain to go back to sleep, but when that didn't work she opted for the couch. It was wide. It was comfy. And, even as she curled into a pitiful heap, Yor still felt safer there than in the seclusion of her bedroom. Sleeping in the living room meant one less door that stood between her and her family. It was a silly thought; why would Loid and Anya be bothered to offer her comfort? They were just her fake husband and daughter.

...Yet even so, just the thought of them being closer to her physically was enough to put her mind at ease, if only slightly.

Yor curled tighter into a ball as water seeped from the corners of her eyes. It was a stupid dream. She'd had it many times over the years. The details were sometimes different, but the message was always the same; mom and dad were gone. They left her alone with Yuri. She had no idea what she was doing playing mom all those years ago, and that's because no one ever showed her how. All Yor had to go on were memories. The few things she bothered to pay attention to became her only saving graces, because what child at that age pays attention to anything? Kids were supposed to go outside and play with their friends after spending all day at school...not rear their younger sibling while struggling to find money to survive another day.

Be kind. Be supportive. Offer comfort when needed. Try.

Her mom always did those things. Yor couldn't cook. She couldn't teach Yuri anything he didn't already know. The most she could do, even to this very day, was be there for him. The same held true for Loid and Anya, and more tears trickled down her cheek at the thought; mom never taught her how to be a mom, but Yor was confident she'd at least be proud of her for doing that much. So long as she kept at it. So long as she kept trying, that's all that mattered. It was an epiphany she'd experienced multiple times before, but it always brought her some form of comfort all the same.

She still had a family, even if mom and dad were gone. What's more, people still depended on her.

Yuri needed his big sister. That was never going to change. No matter how big or strong he got, he was still her little brother. She'd continue to protect him, whether that be through her contract killing job or just being there for him when he needed it. It was why she'd gotten married in the first place. Spare him the worry. Ensure she'd always be around, no matter what.

Anya needed a mama. Her real one was gone...no, that wasn't right. Her _previous_ mama was gone. Yor might not have given birth to her, but Anya was, with all due respect, hers now. She took care of her with Loid, admittedly a little better than she had cared for her brother. With age came experience, and Anya needed all of it. She was just a little girl, stranded without someone to show her all the things little girls are supposed to know. She was the same as Yor, only much, much younger than her when she lost her mother. Even then, she was so strong. Yor adored her.

Loid needed...help. Yes, that was her role. His help. That was their arrangement. She was his fake wife. It was only meant for appearances, but even so...he did so much for her. He offered her cover for her job. He took care for her and Anya. He served as the rock of stability that she so desperately needed. And because of all that...he was tired. Stressed. Worried. A kind man like that, raising a daughter by himself, wasn't fair. Yor knew the feeling all too well; she hated it, hated knowing he was going through the same thing she had. Fake wife or not, she took it upon herself to ease that pain. If she didn't, she'd have been denying herself.

Even knowing all that, Yor never thought she'd find herself in this position.

Months into a fake relationship. Sleeping on the couch, trying desperately to stay close to her equally fake family.

Rain fell in sheets against the window. A bad storm. All the heat in the room had been sapped away, leaving all but her feet chilled to the bone. She found it strange; it was the only part of her not covered by a blanket. She stretched herself out on the couch, and at the same time looked over to find the source of the heat. Immediately, Yor was stopped for two reasons. The first was she could stretch out no further. Her foot collided with something. Second, she blinked through salty tears and blear to make out the form of Loid and Anya at the other end of the couch.

Her daughter lay in her husband's lap. He sat upright, feet pressed up against the side of the coffee table, as Anya buried her head in the crook his position created. They had the same expression on their faces; mouth slightly open, with a light snore emanating from both. Yor stared at them, not believing what she was seeing to be real. At least not at first. Slowly, reality started to sink in. A smile melted her cold face.

Anya must have gotten spooked by the storm. She probably woke Loid up after he'd just gone back to bed, and Yor didn't hear any of it because of the thunder. Why they chose to hold up on the couch next to her though, Yor couldn't understand. They'd have been much more comfortable sleeping in one of their beds. Maybe...they saw her and thought to...?

"...Did you two come out here for me?" Yor whispered aloud. All she got were snores in response.

Loid's head was rolled back. With one arm beside him and another outstretched across the length of the couch, he left plenty of room for Anya to toss and turn with. The smallest Forger remained still however, and Yor glanced between her and Loid. All the things she'd thought about previously came rushing back to her once more and with them came fresh tears, only this time they didn't sting like before. A smile accompanied them, and she hadn't the heart to dry herself. They served as a warm reminder of her own affirmations.

She had a family, fake or not, and they needed her.

She needed them, too. Now, more than ever.

Yor clutched her thin blanket and clamored over carefully so as to not wake the others. With enough room to accompany her, Yor fell into place right next to Anya. She lay her head down on Loid's lap and tried her best not to blush like a school girl, while at the same time positioning herself to properly cuddle with her daughter. Yor brought the blanket over her and Anya, though it was hardly needed; the little girl was a downright furnace. Loid and Anya stirred for a moment from all the movement, but quickly became dead to the world once more.

Thunder boomed and rain kept on falling, only now Yor found comfort in it. The harder it stormed outside, the more she hugged her daughter. The sound of Loid's breath reminded her of his presence, and with it came the security he took with him earlier. The three of them, tired and spent, all curled up on the couch together. The chill of the night seemed much less so now, and as Yor settled into the warmth of her family she slowly let the exhaustion take hold of her once more. The trepidation of falling asleep alone was no longer present. Even before then, she knew she was never alone.

A smile eased across her lips, and before she knew it she was asleep.

There would be no more bad dreams that evening.


	12. Mission 149: Put Your Back Into It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Parties Involved: Loid Forger, Yor Briar-Forger**   
>  **Mission Objective(s): help Mrs. Forger relax**   
>  **Reporting Status: we're just going to call this one "mission accomplished" and then never speak of this again**

Yor yowled like a cat in heat.

Before even stopping completely, she started to do damage control. Hands flew over her mouth. Her eyes grew wide in shocked embarrassment. She stayed that way, frozen, as the dexterous fingers that had elicited such a response from her paused. For a moment the world seemed to stop on a dime and the only thing Yor could do was wait in quiet agony for the inevitable remarks of disgust that she _knew_ would come out of her husband's mouth; _did you really just make that noise?_ It was so inappropriate. She knew that's what he'd say, and yet she couldn't even blame him.

"...I take it that's the spot?" Loid asked politely a fraction of a second later, though it felt like an eternity to Yor. There was a faint amusement in his voice.

Yor's head slowly turned. Over her shoulder, she stared at her husband. The deepest shade of red bled through her face. "...Uh-huh."

His hands rested on her shoulders, though it was his thumbs that had been doing the heavy lifting. Yor could feel them hovering above the spot that had caused her to lose all sense of herself for a moment; a knot between her shoulder blades that, for weeks, had been slowly getting tighter with each passing contract kill of hers. It had appeared innocently enough one day and she'd taken steps to rid herself of it. Yoga. Stretching. Different pillows. Nothing had abated its growth, however, and now she was suffering the consequences for not asking Loid for his help sooner.

Though, to be fair, his help was never an option in the first place...not until it became her last resort, at least.

Because how else was she to approach him on the matter? _Loid, I have a knot in my back, could you please rub it out_...? Well, actually...that's really all she had to say, now that Yor thought about it. Honestly it wasn't nearly the big deal she made it out to be, but willing herself to say those words aloud was a thousand times more difficult than simply realizing that she needed to. Even now as they sat on the couch together, Yor couldn't believe she'd let it come this far (asking Loid to rub her back, not the actual knot thing). She was embarrassed.

Even more so when, after giving her a minute to collect herself, Loid warned aloud that he would continue. Yor nodded reluctantly and bit her lip, and a moment later she felt his thumb hit that same spot again. Pain and relief wracked her in equal parts. Yor sucked in air. She refused to make another sound and focused all her attention on that singular goal...though was caught off guard when a sudden jolt hit her on her other side. A knot she didn't know about, or maybe she did and simply forgot about it at the moment. Either way, she _felt that._

Yor mewed. Shortly. Quickly. _Suggestively._

And that's when Loid stopped the second time. Yor immediately snatched up the pillow in front of her and curled around it; she buried her face in plush and didn't even try to hide the fact that she was mortified. In her mind's eye, Loid disappeared; the way she saw it, she was alone on that couch and her husband was far away somewhere else. A place where he couldn't see her wriggle under his touch and listen to the... _god awful_ sounds coming out of her at the moment. Maybe if she was lucky, Anya would get home from school soon and she could take her daughter to the park or something. Just the two of them. Loid could stay home and figure out how he was going to go about divorcing her for someone else. Someone who wasn't so lewd.

Yor became lost in her thoughts and almost failed to notice a finger poking her in the back. She flinched and realized that Loid really was still there behind her. Looking down at her side, she became flustered all over again when she caught sight of his knee; he had one foot on the floor to keep him propped upright, while his other leg lay outstretched beside her. All in the name of making enough room on the couch for the two of them, though with the added, unintended side-effect of making it so Yor was nearly pressed up against him.

"You alright?" he asked, bringing his face around her side. She looked up at him from her pillow.

"...I think we should stop, Loid," Yor replied meekly. The woman dared not show her face.

Loid raised a brow. "Does it hurt that bad?" Yor shook her head, and Loid deflated. "So then what's the problem?"

To be fair, he knew exactly what the problem was; Yor made some noises and now she was embarrassed. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out. On the one hand he could understand her predicament. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea, hence why he did her a favor and stopped at her moaning and groaning. On the other hand, though, those knots really needed to go. He had no idea where they'd come from (he had half a mind to ask her just what kind of work her boss was putting her through at the capitol building) but if she sat on them any longer they'd only cause more problems for her in the future. Besides, he knew better than anyone that Yor didn't mean anything by those noises. They weren't actually married.

Yor couldn't bring herself to respond. She just eyed him from the corner of her pillow, and Loid simply shook his head. "I'm starting up again."

"W-wait, no!" Yor suddenly found her voice. In an act of defiance she curled tighter into a ball, although she soon found that wasn't the best idea.

Her back was now the biggest target ever. She failed to realize that Loid didn't need access to her shoulders in order to rub her back; something that should have been obvious but at the time just simply wasn't. Yor's eyes twisted when, after feeling Loid zero in on the knots with his palm, felt pressure again. She immediately stretched forward and growled in satisfied pain as her husband rubbed her down, and she forgot about being embarrassed almost instantly. The only thing that seemed to matter at the moment was she was finally feeling some sort of relief.

Loid continued. He kept rubbing her back with his heavy palms and for a while Yor remained hunched over like that, though the feeling diminished quickly as time went on. After a certain point there was nothing for her, and she eventually willed herself back up unprompted. The pillow remained in her arms though, and she buried her face in it as she concentrated on several things all at once. The feeling of Loid's hands as he broke her down. The relief that washed over her, mixed in with searing nerves. How the two of them must have looked together on the couch...

Loid dug in suddenly, and a tiny squeal escaped her.

Yor instantly pulled the pillow in tighter and waited for him to stop like he had done so previously, but to her utter horror that didn't end up being the case. Her eyes got wide as he kept on going, and for a moment she tried to reason that he simply didn't hear her; he would have stopped if he had, right? Just like last time...? Yor turned her head, but couldn't do so completely. Strong fingers held her bare shoulders in place, and she refused to put her face anywhere near them. She could feel Loid's skin on hers, and quite suddenly she cursed herself for always wearing that house sweater. She definitely needed to get a new one, preferably one with a bit more cover.

"...Loid?" Yor breathed. She could feel the crunch and her face twisted.

"If I stop now it'll only make it worse," he explained, reading her mind. "Just...hang on."

Yor nodded faintly and bit her lip. Loid's warning concerned her, and she braced for what was about to come. She closed her eyes, held her breath...and just as soon let it all out again as he practically speared her with his thumb. She gasped. She gaped. A bestial noise let loose from the back of her throat and she stared out in front of her as the worst, best feeling wracked her spine.

Loid remained silent. Yor didn't hear a peep out of him, probably because she on her own was loud enough for the two of them. At the time though, she'd forgotten all about being mortified. All she cared about was finally getting rid of the knife in her back, and her gratitude was made all the more apparent when the worst of the massage had finally ended. After an intense couple minutes, the pain had mostly went away. The crunch was no longer there, and Yor shuddered in sweet relief as Loid backed off completely. She breathed into her pillow and sighed.

It was over. Somehow, she'd made it. Granted Yor wanted nothing more than to disappear and never look her husband in the eyes again, but at least he'd put up with her long enough to finally get the knots out. She remained quietly curled, waiting to summon the strength to turn around and thank Loid properly; she just needed a minute is all. Absently Yor squirmed to put some distance between the two of them (it was bad enough having to go through all that sitting so close together in the first place), but paused when she felt something.

At the same time, almost immediately, Loid scooted backwards. Well, no, that wasn't really the right way to describe it...more like jumped backwards. His reaction caught Yor off-guard, but not enough to make her forget what she felt just a second ago. At first, Yor just stared down at the couch and blinked. No emotion on her face, just confusion; then, slowly but surely, color filled her cheeks. Pink. Crimson. Scarlet. Every shade of red flashed across her face from lightest to darkest, until finally there was no hint of flesh left on her face. Just...red.

Something poked her from down under. Just a fraction of a second before Loid pulled away.

Despite never having so much as hugged a man besides her own brother before, Yor knew _exactly_ what it was.

"...I-I, uh...!" Words failed her completely as she creaked her head around, just enough to catch Loid from the corner of her eye.

Loid was a well-carried man. Her husband was always calm, suave, and knew just what to say...but not then. For what was perhaps the first time since Yor had known him, Loid's eyes were big as dinner plates. His jaw hung up open just a little, and red flecked his cheeks a bit more than it ever had before. He was just as taken back as she was, and that didn't help Yor any at all. Seeing him like that only made her embarrassment all the worse. Her lips trembled. Sweat dripped in buckets from her brow. If her eyes could spin, they most certainly were doing so at that moment.

"I'm sorry, I..." Loid cleared his throat. He reined himself in much better than Yor ever could, though still stammered. "...That is to say, I...uh..."

"N-n-no, that was my fault!" Yor eked out meekly. She pulled the pillow in closer and burned right through it. "I know you didn't mean it!"

Loid was quiet. He glanced away for a moment and made an uncomfortable sort of face. "...Guess things got a little...intense there?"

Yor's heart sank. She wasn't quite sure why; Loid didn't sound upset with her. If anything he was more embarrassed with himself than anything else, which entirely wasn't fair. _She_ was the one making all those noises. He was the one nice enough to get them out of her in the first place and...wait, no, _that came out all wrong!_ Yor became more distressed despite closing her eyes in a failed attempt to calm herself down. Loid's _situation_ was just because they were so close on the couch. Friction, and what not. That, and her moaning and... ** _oh god_.**

Her entire body turned the same shade as her crimson eyes. "...This was such a bad idea! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Loid hesitated. His next question would sound so irrelevant that it'd catch Yor completely off-guard. "...Did I get the knots out?"

The woman paused. She waded through a sea of thoughts in order to find the answer her husband was looking for. "...Well, yes, I suppose so..."

"Then, mission accomplished," he answered back. His voice wavered a bit, but more put together than Yor's by far. She balked. "I'm just glad you feel better."

Yor's face twisted. She managed a tiny, frayed smile as Loid offered her the same, if only to give him a tiny fraction of the comfort he was trying to give her. She still wouldn't turn around completely, something that may or may not have been a relief to her husband. Despite his cool demeanor, Yor knew full well that Loid was struggling with how to proceed next. And if him of all people didn't know what to do, then she most certainly had even less of a clue. Loid scooted back even more until his back was completely against the armrest.

"It would be a good idea to take a shower now," he brought up out of the blue. "Heat is good for a tight back."

Yor short-circuited. For the briefest of moments, her mind raced and came to a dead stop at a singular thought; was Loid...propositioning her to take a shower with him now? She croaked. Her face broke. Yor turned around completely as a knee-jerk reaction and stared at her husband's face, the latter of whom raised a brow in confusion. Cheeks burning like a wild-fire, Yor sat there and realized right away that she was being ludicrous. There was no sultry look on her husband's face, no suggestive lilt in his eyes... _why was she even looking for one in the first place!?_

"...A shower sounds lovely right now..." Just her. No one else. That way she could melt and die in peace. "...Please excuse me..."

Loid nodded as Yor peeled herself off the couch. She ducked her head and hid her face with a veil of hair, all in the name of not having to look her husband in the eyes. He turned his head and followed her as she hurried over towards the hallway and just as quickly ducked into it, giving him only the briefest of seconds before she disappeared from view completely. The sound of her door opening and closing signaled her abrupt departure, and the moment he was sure she was in the other room Loid exhaled in frustration. Not anger. Just... _frustration_.

_What the **fuck** Twilight?_

Loid rubbed his face. When was the last time he let himself get...excited like that? At what point did he stop being completely in control of himself like the adult he was and instead started acting like a teenage boy, and around his own wife no less? Well, fake wife, but the point was still there. All Yor did was ask him for help with her back. It was an innocent request, one he _knew_ took a lot of courage for her to ask in the first place, and what did he do? Ruin what should have been a simple, completely platonic massage; she'd probably never trust him again, and how could he blame her?

Yor probably thought he was a total creep at the moment. The smoothing over he needed to do in order to put this behind them was going to be substantial, and Loid shuddered to think exactly what that might entail. Maybe if he took her out to dinner and apologized? That might work, then again it might backfire and blow up in his face. He could give her a day at the spa. That way she could get an actual massage and not have to worry about him touching her...though that might make her feel like he was rejecting her somehow. Maybe that wasn't the best approach...

Loid growled to himself; this entire thing was completely idiotic. His list of past trysts reached down to the floor. He was more than well acquainted with women and how to conduct himself properly around them...so why then did Yor's noises make him lose it like nothing else before?

He didn't have time to answer his self-imposed question. As if fate were tossing him a bone (no pun intended), the front door suddenly started to open. Loid's head shot over to find his daughter enter the apartment to the tune of Bond's sudden barking. The Forger hound galloped from his spot in the dining room and thoroughly trucked the little girl, much to her delight. She giggled and said hi to her doggy before offering papa the same. Thoughts of what just transpired were brushed aside long enough for Loid to properly welcome Anya home.

"Papa, I'm hungry!" The first words to come out of her mouth after saying hello. "All they had at school today was yucky carrot soup! I didn't eat anything all day!"

Another lifeline; something to help him take his mind off things. Loid nodded and rose from the couch. "Is that so? Well, I'll get to work on dinner then."

Anya voiced her excitement with a " _WOO!"_ The little girl dashed towards the dining room table and threw her backpack atop it. "Mama! I'm home!"

"Mama's taking a shower. Her back's been hurting her," Loid explained. He made his way towards the kitchen and looked down the hall.

At the same time, Yor emerged from her room. A bundle of clothes held tightly to her chest, she scurried for the bathroom before stopping dead in her tracks at the feeling of two blue eyes on her. She paused and looked up, finding Loid there staring at her. They locked eyes for a moment, neither saying anything to the other as both their gazes slowly started to shift. Loid turned one way, Yor the other, and the couple parted ways; their eyes were glued to one another though, and neither stopped staring at the other until eventually they were both separated by the wall.

The door to the bathroom closed. A hot shower called to Yor and promised to burn away indecent thoughts that may or may not have had anything to do with her husband.

Meanwhile, Loid made his way into the kitchen. Straight to the sink to wash his hands, the cool water helping to smother a fire lit by his wife somewhere else.

Anya, meanwhile, sat oblivious to it all. Spy Wars started to blare, and she gazed at the cartoon in her own little world. As the sound of chopped vegetables and falling water mixed with the TV, it was thankfully impossible for her to stop and listen to all the things running through her parents minds. An uneasy peace befell the Forger house as mama and papa worked through things on their mutual lonesome, and things fell back to relative normalcy as time went on. Loid cooked. Yor rinsed. Anya watched TV, and Bond sat indifferently through it all.

It would prove to be a typical evening dinner...save of course for how quiet mama and papa were at the table.

If Anya had paid a bit more attention that day, she might have at least caught their glances to one another between bites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative mission titles include; "Loid Forger gets a boner" or "Yor's a mess and Loid likes it that way"


End file.
